Alcoholism and autism?

I am an alcoholic / addict. I started using alcohol because it made me feel good and i changed from being the socially awkward person scared of going out, to a confident person able to socialise. 

It was ok for a long time. Until it wasnt. 

The last few years the addiction has overpowered the reason i started drinking and it has damaged my life immensely. Im still battling with it now. 

At my worst i would have alcohol hidden in places so people only saw me drinking what i wanted them to see. If i had a day where i didnt have to do anything i would drink from the moment i woke until i eventually passed out. Every time i woke in the night i would take a drink. 

It was all i thought of. It consumed me. My nephew told me he was really worried about me. He was only 12 at the time. That rocked me. 

Alcohol snuck up on me and ruined me. Dont be me. 

I'm not sure if there's a connection, there may be, might be worth Googling to find out for sure. I don't drink alcohol, I really dislike the taste, every alcoholic drink tastes bitter to me and later causes me stomach ache and acid reflux. Likely because of IBS and the amount of Coca Cola I drink....

You're definitely not weird. It's natural to have a need and desire to be "normal". Not alcohol but I often go shopping instead of ordering online to be like everyone else, it often results in a meltdown but it's a normal every day thing that the majority do unaffected and I like to be the same.

As an outsider it's completely natural to want to do the same as everyone else. But like my doings causing meltdowns yours causes you to get drunk, not ideal for either of us.

You are fine as you are, don't change to fit in, embrace yourself and who you are. This is what I've been working on for myself and I'm happier for it.

*edit* I found this page on alcohol and autism.

https://www.arrowpassage.com/autism-and-alcohol/#:~:text=The%20more%20sociable%2C%20intelligent%2C%20or,their%20autism%20and%20alcohol%20use.&text=Those%20who%20are%20very%20socially,their%20autism%20and%20alcohol%20addiction.

It mentions alcohol possibly being used as a coping mechanism in some cases. A bit like smoking can be. Interesting reading actually, give it a look. I hope this helps and I hope you're doing well.

Take care of you and hope to see you about.

Alcohol makes me terribly depressed when I drink it. It’s the devils drug I wouldn’t recommend it at all. Even ‘normal’ stable people who drink have committed horrible crimes purely because they were too drunk. So potentially everyone is a problem drinker. I swear alcohol is bad news. I stay far away from the stuff the damage it does to society is incomprehensible. Alcohol and tobacco are two legal drugs that kill probably the most people across the world. If it were invented today there’s no way it would be made legal.

Just for additional information, there's a book on this (I think under-researched) subject and it comes up time and time again in forums, webinars and courses.  The book does allude to the need for more research, although it was writtena  few years ago now and the language is outdated, unfortunately.

https://uk.jkp.com/products/asperger-syndrome-and-alcohol

Aucademy have done a couple of videos on the subject, though, including this one:-   

www.youtube.com/watch

Plus Ausome Training have a course on addiction, and, although not specific to alcohol, the underlying themes and drivers will probably be very familiar to many.  

For me (and yes, I'm aware that this is just more "anecdotal evidence and I'm just a highly subjective, personal study in which "n=1"), the themes are all too familiar.  I didn't know that I was autistic at the time but, from adolescence onwards, I self medicated for years with alcohol, never finding any other options that actually helped from my GP, nor from other services, mental health charities or self help books.  The key to unravelling it all was understanding and accepting my neurodivergence and feeling able to separate out the various causative factors then reduce or eliminate them.  

In my case this meant discarding (or at least trying to discard) any "shoulds" and "oughts" that were put on me from an early age and understanding that much of it wasn't my fault or really even a free choice at all but the result of being bullied, marginalised and misunderstood for the longest time, such that I never felt comfortable socialising or indeed doing very much of anything involving others, without something to calm me down - yes, even though this was a kind of "counterfeit calmness".  It also meant seeking information from other autistics and getting a bit of distance from the judgmental attitudes of many of those around me.  Then also removing myself from toxic situations that were never going to work for me.  It's bee a long, hard journey but incredibly valuable.      

I hated alcohol at first but persisted until it felt good and blocked out consciousness.  Then I wasted forty years prioritising it over everything - wondering what was wrong with me - 
Thank God for a particular twelve step solution when I was ready for it.  

I do not drink any alcohol. I have too many alcoholics in my family. My maternal grandfather was a raging alcoholic, my paternal side also has quite a few of them as well. I did try alcohol at a football party, my motor function went out the window. It’s not for me because I don’t want to risk becoming something that eventually killed my grandfather. I made the decision to stay away from alcohol for the rest of my life. 

I drink alcohol because I have had anxiety (that is quite bad at baseline level and sometimes severe) and alcohol definitely temporarily gives me some help with that. However I’m very wary of the health impacts of alcohol so I restrict myself to just one drink in the evening - and try to have some days when I don’t have that one drink. I can totally understand why people who have difficult lives (annd most people who are autistic do have quite difficult lives in one way or another) end up regularly drinking alcohol. It numbs the pain. Thankfully my physical tolerance for alcohol is quite low so that has prevented me drinking large amounts. But I can totally see how that could easily happen to people if that wasn’t the case. Self medicating is so common in our society. As a society we don’t look after vulnerable people and many people are in pain and looking for an escape.

I have very clear addiction tendencies. I hadn't considered the routine aspect though, that definitely makes sense in my case.

Alcohol definitely isn't my drug of choice though. There isn't a shittier substance for next day poor mental health in my experience. 

I’m teetotal myself. But part of that is seeing my inherited addictive side (or rather anxious side) and alcoholism’s effects on people close to me, and deciding early in life not to fall back on substances no matter how bad it got. I suppose my diazepam tablets are a bit of a cheat, but I made it to my mid forties without them! 

Not me. I am not keen on too  much alcohol. 

One glass ever so often is what I have. I can take it or leave it. 

I prefer Pink Lemonade 

Hey there. As for your husband's recovery, have you looked into programs in [Removed by Moderator]? I've heard great things about them, and I think it could be a great option for your husband. As far as I know, my sister's husband was in recovery there. So, I think it's exactly what your husband needs now. Check the reviews and make a choice. It would be even better to contact them and ask important questions for you. Keep us updated on how things go, and let us know if you need any more help or advice.

I've been through all the forum rules, and I can't find anything to that effect. Could you point me towards that rule if I've missed it please?

No. I have autistic friends and an autistic partner and therapeutic experience with autistic people. Why do you ask?

Are you yourself autistic ? 

It's easy to become overwhelmed by the past. It's useful to consider it in understanding who we are and how we got to where we are, because that helps us with moving forward. Becoming fixated on it is unhelpful though, because it can't be changed, and dwelling in yesterday is no way to enjoy tomorrow. Balance, I guess.

yeah, i don't want to hijack this thread... sometimes i wonder, but that's like.... fantasyland. i guess i'm kind of concrete in my thinking sometimes. also, as satchel paige said, "don't look back. something might be gaining on you." brilliant!

um.... idk about all that........?

this section is for people with autism, do you have autism ? 

Here's one for ya ! Whats your take on god and your connection to the truth and also in turn the endless struggle to end suffering ?

Yes. And your position is also only a personal opinion. Are you just looking for an argument? I'm very puzzled by your attitude. You seem to be simply responding aggressively with soundbites and ignoring every single point I raise?