If Autism could be cured, would you?

What did they say? It got deleted

When people say "cure" in regards to autism, they make it sound like an illness.

That aside, had I not been autistic to begin with, I'd probably have grown to be quite obnoxious, given the other aspects of my upbringing which I won't bore you with.

Since I wasn't diagnosed until I was in my mid-late 30's, I've been told to "stop acting weird" all my life and I've been forced to suppress a lot of my initial thoughts and try to imagine every possible meaning for instructions I receive from others, which makes me appear to be a slow thinker.

If I could, I'd be more tolerant of bright lights & specific sounds & smells which I find to be extremely uncomfortable, but I wouldn't want my autism "cured". As long as I'm not hurting anyone, I'd like to be allowed to express myself, to be tolerated and encouraged to contribute new ideas with my different way of thinking. But I'm informed these desires are selfish, so I'll stop trying to achieve them.

don't be so bloody ridiculous.

but that's the problem. You cannot empathise or imagine my life and what causes me to lose control. What works for you, works for you. I'm not stressed most of the time, I'm calm and tranquil. It's only when things are beyond my control and other people try to impose themselves that I start to panic. If they touch me, I can't bear it.

NAS63666 said:

Perhaps I'm simply a nasty piece of work, or I indulge myself and should simply 'get a grip'.

No that is definitely not what I am saying, and definitely not true. This is why there is such a stigma over mental health because this is what our parents told us over years and years. Perhaps it would help if I gave a few examples: so I now know that bright sunlight not only causes me massive headaches but stresses me out due to the sensory overload, so I wear sunglasses pretty much all the time when I'm outside (I used to simply "get a grip and put up with it" because wearing sunglasses when it's cloudy "looks ridiculous") since doing this there has a been a huge improvement to my overall mood. Similarly, I didn't realise how much sound affects me until I bought noise cancelling headphones. Now my head isnt spinning from sound and sunlight, even this small change has a major impact on my thought processes. These are just a few examples. What do you think in particular could be leading to your outbursts? There could be a few things that lead up to them over a long period of time. Is there a way you could reduce stress so that these happen less frequently? Understand I am only offering help and advice, I am not suggesting what I've said is the right way or the only way, just suggesting some things that have helped me. 

Also I think making assumptions about people, things and situations is something I have to stop doing. That leads to disappointment and disillusionment. Since diagnosis last year I have at least something to work on. By myself. I use books written by autistics. I am still essentially myself though. The diagnosis just helps to explain my limitations to others. Most people are too wrapped up in their own lives to notice or perhaps to remember my meltdowns etc. 

Of course I get meltdowns etc. Damn embarrassing too!! Now I am diagnosed I can understand what happens and why. It’s not foolproof. But I can try to gain a mesure of control. Even just a little. Avoiding situations just made it worse for me. But we are all different.

I misunderstand people on a regular basis. They misunderstand me. It’s painful. But it’s my life. 

I was 61 years old when I was eventually diagnosed. And since I cannot control the things which send me into a rage,how can I control the meltdown?
I didn't even *realise* I wasn't like everyone else. I never compared myself and I never tried to emulate others. I wasn't even particularly unhappy unless things overwhelmed me and I wasn't able to control those things, which is when I went into mega meltdown and literally wanted to stop being alive (2 suicide attempts)
I also have Aspergers and PDA which might explain things.
Oddly enough, both my son and my grandson are diagnosed as being on the spectrum, I believe my brother is, and definitely believe my late father was. We all had these explosive aggressive rages. Dad called it 'The Thompson temper' and apparently my late grandfather had it too. 
So I tend to want to be on my own in order to avoid the meltdowns as they make me feel so ill afterwards. The adrenaline in my bloodstream even after I've calmed down, leaves me shaking and wanting to throw up.
I don't know how NT's think. I don't even care how they think.
Right now, I don't know how *I* think because apparently I should be able to control myself and stay calm, so obviously there's something more going on with me. Perhaps I'm simply a nasty piece of work, or I indulge myself and should simply 'get a grip'............
What a pity my late father wasn't able to beat it out of me as he tried to do with my brother too, ..........

When were you diagnosed NAS63666? If it's later in life, do you think you're in a better position now to reduce the risk of reaching that state? I have certainly reduced this a lot because I'm learning what sends me over the edge, and usually its a combination of things stacked on each other, so that I can step away and gain more control. A lot of my unhappiness in the past has been because I didn't know why I couldn't be like everyone else, no matter what I tried, there was always a gap between me and the rest of the world. But now that I am gaining understanding of how NT's think, I realise the gap is definitely more on their side than mine. I am so much more aware of the intricacies, interdependancies,  contradictions and coincidences of the world whereas this totally passes by most NTs who only worry how other people think of them. 

How do you stop the rage when you go into sensory overload and just want it to stop? Or would you think I'm just being badly behaved and should be able to control myself, snap out of it, or stop to think and reason?
Did you never get the all encompassing passions where you *had* to be with someone?
It almost feels as though, because you never suffer meltdowns, never misunderstand people, never *get* misunderstood, then my history of conflict and confusion are simply down to a lack of self control?

I think I agree with you Nope. I’m not sure what is my personality and what is down to autism. I cannot blame autism for bad behaviour, for instance, and not everybody can be popular or even liked. So if someone has something against me it’s because our two characters don’t gel. Sometimes I have to meet people half way. Compromise for peace. If they won’t meet me half way, then it’s not important and I have to move on. I cannot seriously blame autism for my car crash previous life. Maybe I could have fared better if others had understood my confusion etc. But I can’t blame autism for my behaviour. That’s down to me. Now I understand why it is a lot easier. 

I am still getting my head around how ASD effects me, but I think even at this point, I would much rather be ASD than NT. The more I read about NT brains the more glad I am that I'm not like that. 

I can relate to this. People who meet me for the first time think I'm witty, funny, clever and fun to be with. And I am...........for the half an hour that I chose to spend charming you. I don't want more than that and if you show up at my door in a few days time, all smiley and friendly, thinking I'll be the same, you'll see the side of me that has lost me friends and family. I could have had a brilliant 'career' as a mistress, just being funny and amusing for a couple of hours a week. Could I be in an office or deal with customers on a daily basis? Judging from my many short lived jobs, no I couldn't.
Masking takes a lot of effort and I can't do it long term or daily without eventually blowing a gasket, usually because people see that I'm easily riled, so they play the "let's see if we can wind her up" game, then act hurt and surprised when I flip, start to swear and cry and throw things and physically attack them if they're daft enough to actually lay hands on me. I don't like to be touched by anyone, even on a good day, trying to pull me or push me when I'm mid flip out is stupid and dangerous (hence been arrested several times in my life for assault too). 
 .

try avoiding being around anyone at all and you'll discover a calmness and peace in your life.

Yes. In a heartbeat. I've had a lifetime of conflict and confusion and I *hate* it. Got expelled from school, divorced 4 times, kicked off forums and discussion groups, been lied to by people who pretended to be my friends in order to take money from me, bullied at school, shunned locally. There's nothing about any of that that I want.

I would not want a cure for my condition but more help/support to educate others around the world to understand it more without judgement.

Yes, we can end up being on medication due to some co-morbid conditions (Stress, Anxiety, Depression) but they are only to help us cope with the Neuro Typicals.

Like I'm done with Christmas Cards, we are expected to act/think/etc as others expect but cannot keep it up thus adding more pressure on ourselves because as I was told "it is our perception that is wrong".

So, the world needs to stop "Talking the Talk" about Diversity/Equality/Inclusion and become a fairer place for everyone to be able to live how they want and do what they do best (their strengths) by "Walking the Walk".

Good question.

Your positives and negatives are very similar to mine.

But I think that those negatives have only ever caused me "trouble" when other people have expected me to behave in certain ways, or rather *I* have put pressure on myself to behave in certain ways because I've observed what "most people" do and told myself that I "should" be like them. So simple acceptance (of me by others,and of me by myself) would nullify all of these negatives (for me, at least) without having to change anything about me. And at long last, I seem to be experiencing this. 

I could add on to the negatives list some executive functioning difficulties particularly around memory, motivation and impulse control, plus my rigid thinking and reluctance to embrace imposed change, and having these taken away might be an objectively "nice thing to have" but I've lived with them for 52 years so.............

As others have said, I don't know what it would be like if my ASD were suddenly taken away, and I think it is entirely possible that I might not enjoy the result. I hate any changes to my hearing for example (e.g. something simple like a blocked ear) so how would I feel about having typical audio processing? I find it difficult to imagine, but think it would be a significant change.

At this point things get a bit more philosophical for me. I'm currently trying to disentangle my ASD from my personality and co-morbid things (I'm not sure I have any but think that these are the three major things that it is worthwhile separating) so that I can better know what is good to work on improving and what is best left alone (masking nearly killed me). Whilst in some sense autism and personality could be seen as distinct, my personality has evolved in the presence of autism, and taking autism away would certainly change *me*, and for that reason, I don't think I'd be up for it.

In conclusion, I'm happy as I am (and now that I know *why* I am like I am, and I'm getting the acceptance that I need from others and from myself, I'm happier than I've been in decades).

This is of course a personal view specific to myself & I wouldn't want to claim it to be the way it *should be* for everyone.

By the way, I think that the concept of "internalised oppression" -or something like it- seems relevant to how we might feel about ourselves (for anyone, generally speaking, as well as in the context of this discussion around how we feel about autism's impact on us). I am no expert here and I'm not asserting anything in particular, except to say that it might be worth exercising caution if we find ourselves criticising ourselves and wishing that we were different. In some cases, that wishing might be rooted in a desire for healthy growth or the amelioration of difficulties ("cures", perhaps), but in other cases might be as a result of internalised "shoulds" that it would be better for us to dismiss.

The truth is I don't know what that would be like if I wasn't autistic, as it's part of my personality and who I am (and I am not talking identity here!)

I would certainly get rid of all the co-morbid conditions I suffer with, but I certainly wouldn't change who I am.

I like the fact people turn to me for honesty, for a problem to be solved and that I have a deep connection with animals.  I love tackling things with logic and creativity - it makes the world must interesting and curious.  Although I am useless as socialising, I also like my own company and I think that is a great thing to have in a society that is becoming more hostile and isolated - I feel it impacts me less than other people who rely on socialising so much.

My interests bring me such joy as well and I pity people who say they don't want to retire because they would have nothing to do and would be bored.  I will never be bored!

Yes, some aspects of it. I don’t want to romanticise my autism but whilst I accept “curing” aspects of it would change my personality but these aspects have caused me pain and bullying all my life. I don’t want to fit it but I feel that changing some of my traits would help me to stand up to bullies.