How many meltdowns a week?

Yes, mine was sceptical too - when I pointed out the research she just said they had to go with existing checklists. They diagnosed me all the same though.

Yeah, you wonder if we had presented symptoms in a different way the ASD would have been picked up earlier! You're right, it would be great if professionals could broaden their awareness of how ASD presents; I remember the psychologist who carried out my diagnosis was very sceptical about different female presentation (I am female!) which is a bit worrying.

No problem :-) Thank you for posting your question, it really helps me by hearing other people's experiences.

You won’t if you think you can’t, but if you set your mind to it, if you allow yourself to truly know that it’s more than a possibility, because in reality, it is, then simply let it go and allow it to come to you. Don’t block it coming. One way or another, you’ll have a cleaner. If you don’t believe me, try it. 

Don’t ever live to your income level, raise your income to your lifestyle level, raise it up. It’s easier to do than you think but you’ve got to actually want it, and believe it’s possible, before you can achieve it. 

I’m glad things are much better for you now.

its both amazing and also quite sad, all is late diagnosed with ASD, suffering all these symptoms all our lives trying to work out why? Not thinking it quite fits with ASD. Are you female btw? As I did a lot of reading pre-diagnosis into how ASD presents differently in women and being on this forum I can see how in real terms that is the case. So much more needs to be done to raise awareness of female ASD presentation, with schools/health care professionals etc all being aware that it’s not just the classic male presentation to look out for

Thank you for sharing your experiences, it helps to validate my own experiences 

Thank you for your replies, it’s good to feel understood after years of feeling misunderstood 

This is definitely what happens to me when I am feeling overwhelmed. I was just like you - I didn't think my crying episodes could count as meltdowns as I'd heard of them being much more extreme in others. Sensory overload and people putting too much pressure on me to do things I'm not capable of are my top triggers. At one point in my life, I was bursting into tears all over the place! I think I made my doctor and dentist feel quite awkward...

Thankfully, things are much better now and I don't have many meltdowns.

This would massively help me and is something I've considered. But I have a limited income and already stretch my money to the max. I wouldn't be able to pay a cleaner regularly. 

Can’t you get somebody else to do the housework? Such as pay a cleaner? I always have a cleaner when I work, I couldn’t do both, and even when I haven’t worked, where I’ve had times where I’ve had a cleaner. I simply can’t do everything so I don’t try. It takes the struggle out of life. 

It's hard isn't it. I really like my job (most of the time) and I hate when I'm off work, it messes up my routine completely so I wouldn't want to stop working but at the moment I do feel like it's taking everything out of me. Things like housework are a real struggle.

Yeah, the fear of something happening is always worse than the actual thing happening. So now I don't fear meltdowns, they actually rarely happen, my fear of them was keeping them going. It's a universal law that states we bring into our experience that which we fear the most. And the law was definitely proved in my case regarding meltdowns. 

Yeah me too, it's starting to worry me - I only work part-time but I'm always either working or slumped and shut down recovering from working

I'm old and have known about the AS for 20 years, also had a lot of support - and it's still taken all this time just to be more or less sorta kinda functional in the world. I do think AS manifests differently for women though.

Oh God that totally resonates, yes, I can't bear to be pressured either to resolve something I don't feel equal to - or to behave like a "normal" sociable person when I'm feeling shut down. That's enough to trigger me - but even then I don't deal with it, I flip out about some trivial frustration instead.

I live alone and although it's a bit lonely I do love the space and being left alone from the pressure to "act normal". Having said that, I am getting better at dealing with things that scare me - but it takes me a few weeks of preparing and another few days to recover. And good friends who give me space to get there on my own, just helping with a little gentle insight into how to deal with it. 

I love it. It has it's moments and can be very testing at times but the good moments make up for that. I'm not sure I'd cope well in other jobs. This one really suits me.

That does make sense - I think the equivalent of a really good counsellor telling me that being afraid of losing control emotionally was a huge factor in the build up of depression, panic, and obsessing. It's hard to explain ...

It must be fascinating to work in a SEN school and see such a range of behaviours. Do you enjoy your work?

I think the bit you said about being aware that there is stress on some level but hoping it will go away so you don't have to deal with it is exactly how I get. I'm not the best at resolving stressful situations so they go unresolved but I guess that leads to my stress levels increasing so then, yeah as you said something really little sets me off, I can get ranting and raving meltdowns too and thinking about it it's usually when someone, usually my husband, keeps putting pressure on my to either resolve a situation that I don't feel needs to be resolved or to resolve a situation in a way that I don't agree with. He's not a person that is easy to put my point of view across to, it's either his way or the highway, so despite my protests he'll keep pressuring me to do what he wants me to do, even though i don't want to do it, I can't resolve it so it just festers away while I keep avoiding doing whatever it is that he wants me to do. Then eventually I get the pressure cooker effect and explode, usually about something unrelated

Thank you

Yes, I’m the same with meditation, it’s hugely important to me. I usually do vipassana meditation but I’m not back there yet so I’m doing the guided ones on YouTube. 

The one you’re doing sounds helpful. Like you, I’m beginning to understand a little better what’s going on. Some times it takes me 3 or 4 days to get clearer which delights me so much because before diagnosis, I just would never have a clue what was going on. And with gentle, patient, loving kindness, I’m getting there slowly slowly. 

I seem to have got into a bit of a rhythm, where I now take one step forward, have a few weeks to process, relax and then wait again to take the next step. Before that, it was like I was taking one step forward and three back but I worked out that I wasn’t going backwards, I was just processing the new information and that if I give myself that time, I don’t go backwards, I can hold my new position and I move on again when I’m ready again. 

It took me a year, and 3 support worker to teach me all about baby steps and now I get it, I love living my life at this new snails pace. It suits me. 

It sounds like you’re doing great on working out the different emotions, I’m not quite at that stage, but I’m happy with where I’m at. At least I’ve got at least a bit of a clue now :) 

Really well put! As I've said somewhere else on here, I started using a meditation app last year and I've found it really helpful - it starts off by asking how I feel - which is hopeless, cos if only I knew I wouldn't be melting down! But then it asks about how my body is and I've started to be able to figure out what I'm feeling from that. If my head feels tight and buzzing it's anxiety, if I'm hyperventilating and my chest is burning and I'm crying I'm some form of overwhelmed with distress or sadness, if I'm really clenched and wanting to kick or thrash I'm furious. Then it talks you through dealing with the emotion - after I've done the exercise, I usually find I can understand what the issue is much better because I can 'scan' my environment for likely causes of that particular emotion. It's also teaching me other stuff like how to stand in a queue without getting anxious etc. Might not suit everyone and parts of it baffle me (what colour is my emotion? erm . . . I always think 'black' lol) but I'm still finding it really useful.