How many meltdowns a week?

Mine are down to zero at the minute. They started to reduce when I had a major meltdown in the job centre last year, and it turns out, my job coach knew exactly what to do and it was the first time in my life I had had a meltdown in front of somebody who actually not only knew what was happening but she knew what to do to help me come out of it. 

I was absolutely astonished, and since then, without me noticing really, they have gradually reduced to nothing. I don’t know if it will remain this way, but now I know how to handle them, I no longer fear them. Maybe that’s why I no longer have them? Maybe it was the fear of them that was actually bringing them on? 

Prior to this, I was definitely having a good few a week and some of them were torturous ~ no wonder I feared them! But I don’t fear them anymore. The only thing I am making certain of, is to avoid burnouts. I will not have another burnout but I’m prepared to risk a meltdown. 

Oh God, wonderful - what was the technique? Pretty please?

She just seemed to completely accept what was happening, I think she held my hands or something, I can't remember that bit, but it was as if she held this space for me and she was completely unaffected by it. Anyway, whatever she did, once I had calmed down, every time I tried to talk about it, she very clearly, but gently, steered me back to the fact that I was ok now, and got my mind thinking about something else, something positive I presume. 

The key to all this for me, was that I no longer allow myself to think about the incident or whatever it was that kicked it off ~ I realised, in total amazement, that the actual meltdown didn't last that long ~ and I've since learned calming techniques such as deep breathing and stimming, no matter where I am, to help calm me down ~ and then once I'm calm, I just don't allow myself to think about it at all. 

I realised that when my work coach prevented me from talking about it, I felt so much better. 

This might sound obvious to you, I don't know, but it was a revalation to me. Honestly, prior to this, I would obsess for hours, maybe days, over what happened. 

I also realised there was tremendous power in her complete acceptance of what was happening and the way she didn't react. I also knew she wouldn't be there every time I have a meltdown, so I realised  I had to have the same acceptance in me. 

I also tested it out. I went to a shopping place that I knew could bring on a meltdown, which it did, and I stimmed in public, then sat in my car and did some deep breathing to recover enough to then drive home. 

So it's like not only do I accept them now, I also don't fear them and if they happen, I know what to do. And I'm not afraid to tell somebody what's happening or to ask for help if I need it. In fact, that's how I found my autism group by having a meltdown in town ~ another story :) 

But I think that's it. If there's anything you're not clear about, let me know. 

It sounds a bit too simple, now I'm writing it down, but it has worked, and I'm still learning but the complete and utter acceptance was a big thing. And knowing it's ok, it's just part of who I am, or 'was' it seems ‍♀️

And of course getting to know myself better and what things do cause me stress and avoiding them, knowing I don't have to do anything I don't want to do. 

Yeah, the fear of something happening is always worse than the actual thing happening. So now I don't fear meltdowns, they actually rarely happen, my fear of them was keeping them going. It's a universal law that states we bring into our experience that which we fear the most. And the law was definitely proved in my case regarding meltdowns. 

Yeah, the fear of something happening is always worse than the actual thing happening. So now I don't fear meltdowns, they actually rarely happen, my fear of them was keeping them going. It's a universal law that states we bring into our experience that which we fear the most. And the law was definitely proved in my case regarding meltdowns.