Did anything good happen today? Aug 2018

Aaaaarrrggh! OrinocoFlo - that's terrible.  So now you've posted how you got on today we need to turn this around to something positive!! x

Is there more than one doctor at the practice? Has he heard of somewhere called Norwich?

https://www.heron.nhs.uk/heron/organisationdetails.aspx?id=22623

Hi, Ellie, this doesn't fit in the "did anything good happen today" section, (Sorry) but you asked me to let you know how I got on.

I told the doctor why I was there, and handed over my letter and AQ scores. He barely glanced at them before telling me that he didn't know of anywhere he could refer me to for adult autism testing in the county (Norfolk). I told him about the Lorna Wing centres in Cambridge and Essex (which he hadn't heard of), and he looked them up online and repeated that he couldn't refer me to a different county. He then went on to say that autism is a spectrum and normal people often exhibit some of the traits, and that online testing isn't conclusive. (I do know that. That's one reason why I wanted the referral. ) Unfortunately by this time I had clammed up and was unable to even pretend to make eye contact. He gave me the address of a Wellbeing centre and suggested I refer myself to them for help with my self confidence.

I can't help thinking that if there really isn't an NHS adult referral strategy in Norfolk there damn well ought to be. I want to try for a second opinion, but not sure who to ask yet.

I went shopping with my dad to a small local shop that I’m familiar with. It’s rare that we spend time together just the two of us. We listened to the radio together, I didn’t care for the station but it was fun to be with dad. In the shop at the till the man who served us had a very deep voice I could barely understand what he was saying and the fingers were missing from his right hand but I thought he did well scanning the items through. It took a lot of effort but I managed to blurt out a thank you to him as we left. I felt good because it wasn’t too noisy, busy, loud and the big lights were off and I hope he felt good and appreciated too. 

my everything are ok and good this month . I am busy this year . I like smile , happy , relaxation and learning new things life always . 

Nothing like a swim

Good x let us know how you get on.

Thanks, yes, I have AQ test results, also a letter  describing other things which made me think I might be autistic and why I want to know, in case nerves get the better of me.

So pleased for you. Are you planning on taking AQ scores etc with you? I asked for a referral from my GP the other week. Luckily it was over the phone, my old GP has just retired so I hadn’t met the new doctor so there wasn’t any pre-conceptions from either party. 

The GP had phoned for another reason (it had been flagged to him that I was suffering MH difficulties so he called to see what support could be offered). The final few sentences of the conversation was me blurting out that I was struggling partly due to suspected autism so he explained that he would refer me and that they would send out a batch of questionnaires. I asked if that included an AQ questionnaire. He asked if I’d completed one before and knew my score. Yes, I said, and 45/50.

The reason I suggest bring AQ scores is in case your nerves cause you to clam up and so you have something to “show” in case you can’t speak.

well done and best wishes 

Typo. I have corrected it. I couldn't before

After months of procrastination, I finally contacted my GP surgery for an appointment so I can ask for a referral for possible Asperger's syndrome. Usually you have to wait 2 or 3 weeks for a non urgent appointment, but the receptionist has booked me in for next Monday afternoon (*OMG*), feeling nervous but hoping for a successful start.

Cori this?

Thank you Kind Warrior!

Well done on the exhibition, I hope it goes well for you.

I have an exhibition on the 31st September at a small gallery in a Corinthian hotel. Quite a prestigious venue!

Hello. I walked into Tate Britain by myself today (which was a big achievement for me). There was a performance artist in there called Anthea Hamilton who was interesting and funny. I would post a photo of her performance here if i knew how. Anyway I managed to look round Tate Britain for about an hour. I experienced some anxiety but it was mostly okay.   :)

Today I took stock of how well I've done coping.

I'm finally feeling together. I haven't had a good nights sleep in months until a few nights ago. I was on the edge of madness. Not figuratively, literally. My senses were in overdrive. Colour and sound were becoming one. Moving patterns, light was painful, and the heat was agony. Lack of sleep, anxiety and confusion. Chains and chains of information and clips of sound, pictures and words. On top of that I was put on medication that was way too strong and I still couldn't sleep. I was hardly eating too. So I was stoned out of my mind, having between 2 and 5 hours sleep and barely eating. It wasn't good.

I've had problems with my secondary mental heath care. Very, very unprofessional stuff has been going on. I made steps to get it sorted out. I will get the care I should be getting. It's seems that they have left a lot of evidence that reinforces my concerns. That story will be told when it all plays out. It's ironic when you are being treated for anxiety and depression, but the "treatment" makes you anxious and depressed.

I've had a few problems with a family member. One serious confrontation. That's all sorted out now. We actually were laughing about the confrontation because they ended up slipping over and knocking themselves senseless before they could start hitting anyone. It was scary at the time because of how hard they fell but luckily no one was hurt. I think a lesson in Karma was learned. At the time I was worried that it would turn into a feud and I really wanted to get my hands on them, lol, luckily a well thrown sandwich and the floor intervened though. Things could have been much worse. I also learned that my sandwich throwing skills are seriously dangerous. Forgive and forget. They are usually a good person but temperamental. I don't think that they will be taking that approach again. They need to learn some manners though, because sadly there are a lot of people in the world that will be more than glad to do it. I worry about them.

So I managed to get through all of it without losing my mind, self-medicating, attacking anyone physically (apart from throwing a sandwich like a Hadouken!), attacking anyone verbally, not letting the momentum continue, not feeling hateful toward myself or the rest of the world, and holding my *** together better than I have in a long time. I feel that I've accomplished something. The last few months have been torture, but in retrospect they have made me realise I can cope with more than I thought I could. I wouldn't want to relive it but it has put things into perspective in a way. Everything is getting back to a more managable place. I love real British weather.

It's been so good! I haven't walked into anything in 3 days. The heat was like being inside an Iron Maiden at one point, so painful. I feel a little better with each passing cool day.

I went to a workshop for newly-diagnosed autistics (see other thread).  After a difficult weekend, I awoke this morning feeling completely flattened and considering going sick.  But the workshop lifted my confidence.  I've decided that it isn't my fault that my stupid colleague at work should unfriend me and block me on FB for making a silly, jokey comment - but hers.  If she was upset, she should have done the adult thing and sent me a private message to explain.  She also professes to understand autism, but she clearly doesn't.  Otherwise she'd have been more understanding about things.  She would have realised the huge impact that the seemingly simple thing - to her - of unfriending someone would have on me.  I've lost sleep and been drinking over it.  And she wouldn't have told me to 'Switch of my computer and go out' if she'd properly understood that 'going out' isn't the easiest thing for me, and my computer is my lifeline.

The more I look at it - and the more other people tell me that she has a habit of 'unfriending' people she doesn't agree with - the more I realise that she's probably a narcissist.  I know from experience at work that she certainly doesn't like it when people don't agree with her over anything at all.

Hi Lonewarrior

Thanks for the kind words - truly appreciated and totally unexpected.

I've had a bad couple of years and the stress/anxiety wore me down both mentally and physically to the point that I contracted first pneumonia (2 years ago) and then MRSA (1 year ago - in the site of a leg ulcer).  So I wasn't looking forward to the 3rd strike (and your out).  I know 1st hand how the stress/anxiety that underlies ASD can have on the physical body and try to help in my small way so it doesn't affect others.

My little posting here was to show that good as well as bad happens to us all, regardless of whether NT or ND, and we share all of life's up and downs.  In that we're the same of everybody else, we sometimes need different bits of help and guidance along the way.

Thanks from the heart.

Hi Andy glad things are looking up for you, just wanted to add my own good thing that happened today!

You were able to give good advice to another being. I thank you personally for seeing that no matter how bad things can seem, everyone deserves an opertunity to see things from another perspective. 

You have many strengths within.

many thanks.