I wonder how many of us are seen as being antisocial when the issue is more a difficulty in knowing how to, or a fear/aversion to socially engaging with others?Is there a tendency for some people to conflate sociopathy with ASD/Asperger's/Autism?
This describes me. However I can go a easily go a month without seeing a person "factor depending".... Currently out of work :( which means life is boring and I don't like showing myself to friends when I'm a failure so I have my reasons..... Then the fight for help from doctors is exhausting... previously 8 years in employment......
I could take a week off work and be quite happy not speaking to or interacting with anyone for that whole week, I don't feel a need to.
That's precisely what I'm doing this week! I'm off until 23rd. I'll probably see no one except shop staff in that time.
Does anyone else find that if you do make a friend it's very difficult to keep the friendship going in the long term? Maybe it's just me, but most of the time they start losing interest after a few months. It seems to me that they are expecting something more, but I don't know what it is. I can do small talk up to a point, but I do tend to run out of new things to say, so perhaps they get bored or have interpreted my social inadequacy as an insult.
I am not very sociable. Antisocial I am not, well in my understanding of the modern use of antisocial that is. Antisocial to me is making a criminal nuisance of oneself, graffiti, wanton destruction etc. And that could not be further from me. I would prefer the term 'unsocial' or my preferred 'unsociable'.
As regards being sociable or unsociable, I can talk to strangers. And annoy them to bits. Once started about anything, it is difficult to shut me up. And I don't really think it is meaningful conversation. It is very one-sided. To shopkeepers, people at the bus stop, people in the queue to be served. I can certainly talk!
But at the same time, if someone wants to know about me, or asks me questions, I can either freeze up, just answer in monosyllables appear to be very rude, or may give a full account of me, even sometimes with inappropriate detail, not being interested in the other person at all. Which is not really how I want to come across.
I think my apparent 'ease' at talking to others as mentioned above is honed over years of acting someone I am not in order to appear neurotypical. It is a mask, it makes me anxious afterwards and I wonder why I do it. Some sort of logorrhoea I suppose. And this must also mark me out as 'odd'.
When it comes to 'mixing' with people, I am very much a loner. I prefer to be left on my own, only occasionally joining others in activities and that is only in activities in which I take an interest. But this soon wears off and I am out on my own again. Even when out with my wife, we end up just going somewhere and separating, perhaps bumping into each other occasionally (for example if we go to a park or some National Trust or English Heritage property). This does not bother me at all, but my wife seems to get a little agitated by it at times.
I can definitely relate to this. I find meeting people for the first time very easy, but following that up and establishing a relationship is something I haven't been able to figure out. Sometimes it's because I don't input much into a relationship because of this, other times we don't match that well - it's not something you can force, so I'm not too concerned about it to be honest. "Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave" works for me! <3
well the problem is us aspies cant read other people and adjust our social imagination accordingly. For example a criminal looking person might offer us something and we except because we want to be friends but later find ourselves in trouble with the law.. We couldn't read the situation and what other peoples intentions are. Its fascinating I've gone my whole life oblivious to social protocol but I'm learning these things now that seem to come as second nature to other people