Antisocial vs not being very good at being social

I wonder how many of us are seen as being antisocial when the issue is more a difficulty in knowing how to, or a fear/aversion to socially engaging with others?
Is there a tendency for some people to conflate sociopathy with ASD/Asperger's/Autism?

Parents
  • I am not very sociable.  Antisocial I am not, well in my understanding of the modern use of antisocial that is.  Antisocial to me is making a criminal nuisance of oneself, graffiti, wanton destruction etc.  And that could not be further from me. I would prefer the term 'unsocial' or my preferred 'unsociable'.

    As regards being sociable or unsociable, I can talk to strangers.  And annoy them to bits.  Once started about anything, it is difficult to shut me up. And I don't really think it is meaningful conversation. It is very one-sided.  To shopkeepers, people at the bus stop, people in the queue to be served.  I can certainly talk!

    But at the same time, if someone wants to know about me, or asks me questions, I can either freeze up, just answer in monosyllables appear to be very rude, or may give a full account of me, even sometimes with inappropriate detail, not being interested in the other person at all.  Which is not really how I want to come across.

    I think my apparent 'ease' at talking to others as mentioned above is honed over years of acting someone I am not in order to appear neurotypical.  It is a mask, it makes me anxious afterwards and I wonder why I do it.  Some sort of logorrhoea I suppose. And this must also mark me out as 'odd'.

    When it comes to 'mixing' with people, I am very much a loner.  I prefer to be left on my own, only occasionally joining others in activities and that is only in activities in which I take an interest.  But this soon wears off and I am out on my own again.  Even when out with my wife, we end up just going somewhere and separating, perhaps bumping into each other occasionally (for example if we go to a park or some National Trust or English Heritage property).  This does not bother me at all, but my wife seems to get a little agitated by it at times.

Reply
  • I am not very sociable.  Antisocial I am not, well in my understanding of the modern use of antisocial that is.  Antisocial to me is making a criminal nuisance of oneself, graffiti, wanton destruction etc.  And that could not be further from me. I would prefer the term 'unsocial' or my preferred 'unsociable'.

    As regards being sociable or unsociable, I can talk to strangers.  And annoy them to bits.  Once started about anything, it is difficult to shut me up. And I don't really think it is meaningful conversation. It is very one-sided.  To shopkeepers, people at the bus stop, people in the queue to be served.  I can certainly talk!

    But at the same time, if someone wants to know about me, or asks me questions, I can either freeze up, just answer in monosyllables appear to be very rude, or may give a full account of me, even sometimes with inappropriate detail, not being interested in the other person at all.  Which is not really how I want to come across.

    I think my apparent 'ease' at talking to others as mentioned above is honed over years of acting someone I am not in order to appear neurotypical.  It is a mask, it makes me anxious afterwards and I wonder why I do it.  Some sort of logorrhoea I suppose. And this must also mark me out as 'odd'.

    When it comes to 'mixing' with people, I am very much a loner.  I prefer to be left on my own, only occasionally joining others in activities and that is only in activities in which I take an interest.  But this soon wears off and I am out on my own again.  Even when out with my wife, we end up just going somewhere and separating, perhaps bumping into each other occasionally (for example if we go to a park or some National Trust or English Heritage property).  This does not bother me at all, but my wife seems to get a little agitated by it at times.

Children
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