BAd day at the homestead

Hi

My boys feeling better so back tomorrow to the school. The breathing issue is a problem for both boys..they have severe asthma and something called Recurrent Spasmodic Croup. Kinds sounds innocent..but it's not, it's life threatening croup. So something simple like a cold or flu virus and the first we know they have it is an airway closure, usually 1 am in the morning..we have minutes to react..steroids and adrenaline whilst we await paramedics then hossie. This in winter can happen every 4 weeks or more.

So there's plenty for him to feel anxious about. We have 2 specialist pediatric teams looking after the boys for this and copious amounts of drugs daily. We have had a good run lately with no admittance's for 20 weeks (unheard of even for the summer months). It's rare but we hope it will become less of a problem as they grow bigger.

This is partly why I haven't shouted louder about the ASD before now..lack of time, wondering if it's just stress, because it could be a form of PTSD but my other son is coping better..but hey no two kids are alike.

So I could be barking up the wrong tree ASD wise but my partner definitely has similar problems and readily believes he has HFA. SO we have to ask the question if only to rule it out of the equation. 

DS could be having more problems coping with his breathing issues BECAUSE he is struggling with ASD/HFA..what ever he needs help and so do I.

He locked me out the house today..little monkey but I dealt with things differently and he responded well.

Onwards and upwards and thanks

J

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Hi ya,       you go let it out!!!!!!  there's no one better than a parent to know what their child needs. ye who shout's the loudest unforntunatly are the one's they take note of first  it's wrong but it happens. You mentioned that your son has breathing problems ,can i ask what kind?my daughter also has breathing problems and is on meds for it...............................prior to meds she would really suffer from anxiety attacks wich would cause her heart to race fast.meds have helped her so she can control the anxiety a bit better ,and makes her more relaxed now and helps her to concentrate on other things other than her breathing. ..... "oh yes,glad you had a nice day today" ,my daughter is off also she gets constipation and leaks .KEEP going, on this site we will support you even if you just want to vent your (frustrations).....................xx

Thanks Tee...a stomach bug has it's bonus's..we had a lovely day together..did school work, cuddles chats...it was great. If I just had one child I would deffo be home schooling. I have my other son to consider and one at school and one home seems too hard a decision just now...don't fancy explaining that one.

Alsorts have been coming out today in conversation and when we went to collect his brother DS got very agitated agin when mixing with the other kids..he gets louder and louder and goes too close etc..it's like watching a barometer rising.

So I have made the phone call to school to have THAT conversation, which I have been putting off for weeks, as frankly I have no other options. Whatever the issue is I have a frustrated unhappy boy..it maybe ASD or some sort of psychological problem due to his breathing problems and me nearly dying on him last year..but whatever it is it ain't going away and he needs help. 

Whatever the help it..it'll be slow so I might as well start chirruping more loudly sooner than later. I have been waving my hand a lot in a 'erm I am worried something's not right' vauge way for a year now and enoughs enough.

If someone tries to mention positive parenting one more time (who doesn't know me well enough to know better) then I may implode. There is no way I am going to make that poor kid sit anymore time out in the attempt to make him squish his frustration into a manic ball of hatered against the whole world. 

He's bright, he's funny and caring...and I adore him ..time to get things moving. I don't want his potential wasted. They can call it what they like..somethings wrong, end of.

Phew..that felt better..if you are still reading..thanks 

J

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Hello !!!! hope your son is feeling better  my daughter is 11 now she too likes time on her own at school during break times ,her friends are very good with her as they have grown with her at school, they are used to her ways .At school she has support with social skills ,she is allowed to choose a friend or her helper will  choose someone who she does'nt know very well (eg, take turns ,patients,find out about the other person,listening )she's had this now for 2 years............this has helped her improve her social skills . It's good that your son can talk to you about what he like's and doesn't like and he  can recodnise this, he's obviously an intelligent little boy all credit to you

Thank you that's very helpful..he does ask 'what's next' all day long and likes structure.

At 5.30 this morning ds was in shouting incoherently..gave him a cuddle and he settled briefly only to start being sick with a bug an hour later.

I suspect that and the play date were all contributory to his heightened state yesterday..yes an hour is about his limit too..being outside is better (cause he will come in to the house for a self imposed breather then go back out again when he's ready) but once inside his tolerance limits are greatly reduced.

As he's not at school today and he has rare one to one time with me (always a bonus for a twin) he has been telling me things that he doesn't like about school the bus journey etc.

He is quite adamant that the other children are very kind to him but he said 'I don't want them to help me mum, I want to be left alone'. He always sits alone by choice now, he does this during playtimes too at school. I know what he means though because the children at school (especially the older ones) adore my boys and fuss them, look out for them etc, especially on the bus ...I think he just finds it a bit much to deal with by the sound of things. His twin on the other hand revels in all the attention  It was funny watching them hold my other son up so the boys could wave goodbye to each other today.

It makes me happier that if he is officially diagnosed they other children will try to help and we will be able to guide them as to the best way to do this. It's a good school and I'd like him to be happier there.

Am so glad I found this forum it's proving a real help in calming me down too..I take heart that other parents further into the process are finding solutions and their children are happier because of it.

xx

Morning oatcakes,i'm always the last to sleep in my house  your half way there already ,you seem to to be very intuned .My daughter was 8 when she was diagnosed with asd................. her play limit back then was an( hour )when a friend came over, any thing beyond that then she would have a meltdown....................we find if our daughter loses control and gets very cross we let her ride it out by being supportive and calm and taught her over the years to ....1..... count slowley to ....10........and remove herself from a situation for calm down time ....easy to say i know ,but with consistancy it will work ........when we go out together we tell our daughter the plan of the day so she still has some form of structure ..................this helps to some degree with her mood and anxiety .Hope this helps .................let them know you understand there mood (so not to crush them) takes time your just getting your heads around it .xx