Published on 12, July, 2020
Thanks I found the posts really helpful to gain an insight into my DS behaviour today..I can see now that the 2 friends he invited over were way to noisy and excitable and he melted down..this continued on and off for the remainder of the day until I managed to get him calm at bedtime...even a laugh before sleep.
I had the foresight to bundle the friends out the door quick sticks despite one of them being judgemental about DS I handled that firmly 'I will deal with the situation you need to go now'..but I didn't handle my son as well as I would have liked and feel I was too rigid..I didn't feel good about this afterwards.
I feel like I made him push that anger down and inwards when by the sound of it he desperately needed to let rip in safety..what works for one son may not work for the other.
I need to experiment with different tactics perhaps..will look more closely at that. I 'm very new to this so forgive any clumsiness on my part..it's hard knowing how to strike the right balance between establishing right and wrong and not crushing DS in the process.
Is it best to let him burn out his anger or do normal time out's help...?? Time out works eventually but he seems to forget we have been through it very quickly and I am wondering if it will properly sink in with him that this is whats required.It feels to me like we are covering the same ground relentlessly without him getting any insight into how the process is supposed to work.
DS is 5 this month and we are awaiting assessment...my partner is also waiting assessment and I am trying to work out angles for him too.
Oh dear school tomorrow..my heart feels very leaden tonight..I am putting off bed for no particular reason other than I am the last one up and am not being talked at for the first time today.
Better get up there I guess by the time I get the boys to school I will feel I have done a full day....
BTW is it typical for people with spectrum disorders to constantly question everything and ask questions constantly about everything..thank goodness for Paulo Nuttini's song 'Pencil full of lead'..puts DS instantly in a good mood.
WIsh me luck
x
Thanks Tee...a stomach bug has it's bonus's..we had a lovely day together..did school work, cuddles chats...it was great. If I just had one child I would deffo be home schooling. I have my other son to consider and one at school and one home seems too hard a decision just now...don't fancy explaining that one.
Alsorts have been coming out today in conversation and when we went to collect his brother DS got very agitated agin when mixing with the other kids..he gets louder and louder and goes too close etc..it's like watching a barometer rising.
So I have made the phone call to school to have THAT conversation, which I have been putting off for weeks, as frankly I have no other options. Whatever the issue is I have a frustrated unhappy boy..it maybe ASD or some sort of psychological problem due to his breathing problems and me nearly dying on him last year..but whatever it is it ain't going away and he needs help.
Whatever the help it..it'll be slow so I might as well start chirruping more loudly sooner than later. I have been waving my hand a lot in a 'erm I am worried something's not right' vauge way for a year now and enoughs enough.
If someone tries to mention positive parenting one more time (who doesn't know me well enough to know better) then I may implode. There is no way I am going to make that poor kid sit anymore time out in the attempt to make him squish his frustration into a manic ball of hatered against the whole world.
He's bright, he's funny and caring...and I adore him ..time to get things moving. I don't want his potential wasted. They can call it what they like..somethings wrong, end of.
Phew..that felt better..if you are still reading..thanks
J