Published on 12, July, 2020
Thanks I found the posts really helpful to gain an insight into my DS behaviour today..I can see now that the 2 friends he invited over were way to noisy and excitable and he melted down..this continued on and off for the remainder of the day until I managed to get him calm at bedtime...even a laugh before sleep.
I had the foresight to bundle the friends out the door quick sticks despite one of them being judgemental about DS I handled that firmly 'I will deal with the situation you need to go now'..but I didn't handle my son as well as I would have liked and feel I was too rigid..I didn't feel good about this afterwards.
I feel like I made him push that anger down and inwards when by the sound of it he desperately needed to let rip in safety..what works for one son may not work for the other.
I need to experiment with different tactics perhaps..will look more closely at that. I 'm very new to this so forgive any clumsiness on my part..it's hard knowing how to strike the right balance between establishing right and wrong and not crushing DS in the process.
Is it best to let him burn out his anger or do normal time out's help...?? Time out works eventually but he seems to forget we have been through it very quickly and I am wondering if it will properly sink in with him that this is whats required.It feels to me like we are covering the same ground relentlessly without him getting any insight into how the process is supposed to work.
DS is 5 this month and we are awaiting assessment...my partner is also waiting assessment and I am trying to work out angles for him too.
Oh dear school tomorrow..my heart feels very leaden tonight..I am putting off bed for no particular reason other than I am the last one up and am not being talked at for the first time today.
Better get up there I guess by the time I get the boys to school I will feel I have done a full day....
BTW is it typical for people with spectrum disorders to constantly question everything and ask questions constantly about everything..thank goodness for Paulo Nuttini's song 'Pencil full of lead'..puts DS instantly in a good mood.
WIsh me luck
x
Hi
My boys feeling better so back tomorrow to the school. The breathing issue is a problem for both boys..they have severe asthma and something called Recurrent Spasmodic Croup. Kinds sounds innocent..but it's not, it's life threatening croup. So something simple like a cold or flu virus and the first we know they have it is an airway closure, usually 1 am in the morning..we have minutes to react..steroids and adrenaline whilst we await paramedics then hossie. This in winter can happen every 4 weeks or more.
So there's plenty for him to feel anxious about. We have 2 specialist pediatric teams looking after the boys for this and copious amounts of drugs daily. We have had a good run lately with no admittance's for 20 weeks (unheard of even for the summer months). It's rare but we hope it will become less of a problem as they grow bigger.
This is partly why I haven't shouted louder about the ASD before now..lack of time, wondering if it's just stress, because it could be a form of PTSD but my other son is coping better..but hey no two kids are alike.
So I could be barking up the wrong tree ASD wise but my partner definitely has similar problems and readily believes he has HFA. SO we have to ask the question if only to rule it out of the equation.
DS could be having more problems coping with his breathing issues BECAUSE he is struggling with ASD/HFA..what ever he needs help and so do I.
He locked me out the house today..little monkey but I dealt with things differently and he responded well.
Onwards and upwards and thanks
J