Published on 12, July, 2020
Thanks I found the posts really helpful to gain an insight into my DS behaviour today..I can see now that the 2 friends he invited over were way to noisy and excitable and he melted down..this continued on and off for the remainder of the day until I managed to get him calm at bedtime...even a laugh before sleep.
I had the foresight to bundle the friends out the door quick sticks despite one of them being judgemental about DS I handled that firmly 'I will deal with the situation you need to go now'..but I didn't handle my son as well as I would have liked and feel I was too rigid..I didn't feel good about this afterwards.
I feel like I made him push that anger down and inwards when by the sound of it he desperately needed to let rip in safety..what works for one son may not work for the other.
I need to experiment with different tactics perhaps..will look more closely at that. I 'm very new to this so forgive any clumsiness on my part..it's hard knowing how to strike the right balance between establishing right and wrong and not crushing DS in the process.
Is it best to let him burn out his anger or do normal time out's help...?? Time out works eventually but he seems to forget we have been through it very quickly and I am wondering if it will properly sink in with him that this is whats required.It feels to me like we are covering the same ground relentlessly without him getting any insight into how the process is supposed to work.
DS is 5 this month and we are awaiting assessment...my partner is also waiting assessment and I am trying to work out angles for him too.
Oh dear school tomorrow..my heart feels very leaden tonight..I am putting off bed for no particular reason other than I am the last one up and am not being talked at for the first time today.
Better get up there I guess by the time I get the boys to school I will feel I have done a full day....
BTW is it typical for people with spectrum disorders to constantly question everything and ask questions constantly about everything..thank goodness for Paulo Nuttini's song 'Pencil full of lead'..puts DS instantly in a good mood.
WIsh me luck
x
Thank you that's very helpful..he does ask 'what's next' all day long and likes structure.
At 5.30 this morning ds was in shouting incoherently..gave him a cuddle and he settled briefly only to start being sick with a bug an hour later.
I suspect that and the play date were all contributory to his heightened state yesterday..yes an hour is about his limit too..being outside is better (cause he will come in to the house for a self imposed breather then go back out again when he's ready) but once inside his tolerance limits are greatly reduced.
As he's not at school today and he has rare one to one time with me (always a bonus for a twin) he has been telling me things that he doesn't like about school the bus journey etc.
He is quite adamant that the other children are very kind to him but he said 'I don't want them to help me mum, I want to be left alone'. He always sits alone by choice now, he does this during playtimes too at school. I know what he means though because the children at school (especially the older ones) adore my boys and fuss them, look out for them etc, especially on the bus ...I think he just finds it a bit much to deal with by the sound of things. His twin on the other hand revels in all the attention It was funny watching them hold my other son up so the boys could wave goodbye to each other today.
It makes me happier that if he is officially diagnosed they other children will try to help and we will be able to guide them as to the best way to do this. It's a good school and I'd like him to be happier there.
Am so glad I found this forum it's proving a real help in calming me down too..I take heart that other parents further into the process are finding solutions and their children are happier because of it.
xx