Managing Anger

Hi NAS74956,

I am sorry to hear about some of your son's difficulties with anger. You may like to have a look at the following page from the NAS around what causes anger in children with autism and how parents may be able to support them:

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/anger-management/parents

I hope this helps,

ChloeMod

It's not enough for anyone to just hold their anger in, anger is irrational, because when anyone is angry there's a natural mechanism in the brain that shuts off the rational part (the prefrontal cortex) so that they can just react and deal with whatever's right in front of them, which is makes sense if you have an attacker right in front of you. You don't need to think about what you will have for lunch tomorrow, you just need to react at that moment.

So when someone is angry, they can put their focus onto something that relieves their anger (like the punching bag that Caelus suggested). Having an acceptable place for anger is fine and won't damage anything or anyone else. Once that energy is released physically, the body winds down, and the brain can reopen it's pathway for rational thinking again. 

I would echo Caelus, a physical outlet of some sort will really help. I still have issues with angry outbursts and trying to remove myself before I get to that point (only diagnosed this year at 27). 

Over the years especially as a teenager football really helped me. I have kicked the ball as hard as I could for many years when I'm having those moments and it's much easier to come down from that kind of outburst than when I was being destructive inside. I did break fence panels and a few plant pots this way but soon got a rebounder net so I could do this without too much noise or damage.

Sometimes it's hard to avoid feeling that way and it can come out of nowhere but having a way to let it all out physically in that moment that isn't going to upset anyone else or cause any real harm will definitely help.

buy him a boxing bag. make him take it out on boxing bag whenever he feels it. it will help, whenever he gets the feeling to destroy something in angry outburst he can turn that to boxing bag instead which is fair game for taking a beating, and it will get it out of his system.

I’m being polite lol I’ve always been an easy target as I don’t confront people and today’s society loves confrontation. They can jog on. I really got put through hell at school and this guy went above and beyond to get at me. 

Jd said:

I’ve punched 1 person in my life and that was the school bully after  2.5 years of poo. I hate confrontation with people and avoid it at all costs. Inanimate objects suffer though

Wow - all the same for me (well not entirely sure about the poo part though).

I don’t class it as anger issues for myself. I struggle to process sometimes and it gets the better of me. Too much Stress or noise  is something I can’t deal with and can set me off. But things u think would set me off like a tangled cable I view as a challenge and have patience to do it. I’ve punched 1 person in my life and that was the school bully after  2.5 years of poo. I hate confrontation with people and avoid it at all costs. Inanimate objects suffer though

I don't think I've got anger issues per se - I much prefer flight to fight, but I get incandescent if backed into a corner.

I always have an escape route planned - this dramatically reduces my chance of meltdown.

Hi. This is something that has plagued me my whole life. Not knowing, until recently the reason why, has prevented me from doing anything about it. Even then there’s a limit to how much I can take before I blow. It’s like I’m inside and aware of what’s happening but I’m on rage autopilot until it burns out. Then the remorse kicks in which triggers withdrawal from life. The thing is I’ve sort of had to learn to recognise the signs and walk away before I blow. Or rely on others to notice I’m winding up and hope they distract me. There is no rational reasoning behind it and I appreciate for someone watching it, it looks like an overreaction to what is probably something trivial, but to me it’s kinda life or death. A lot of people struggle to understand this. It’s no ones fault it’s just how I work.