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Managing Anger

NAS74956
over 3 years ago

Hi, 

My 11-year-old son suffers really badly from intense feelings of anger. Anything and everything can set him off at a moment's notice, which results in him smashing and destroying things.

Once he is calm, he always regrets his outbursts and he genuinely can not control his angry feelings.

He needs to learn how to recognize his feelings and how to control his anger in a safe way. I'm not sure what I can do to help him? Has anyone got any advice?

Thanks 

  

Parents
  • over 3 years ago

    It's not enough for anyone to just hold their anger in, anger is irrational, because when anyone is angry there's a natural mechanism in the brain that shuts off the rational part (the prefrontal cortex) so that they can just react and deal with whatever's right in front of them, which is makes sense if you have an attacker right in front of you. You don't need to think about what you will have for lunch tomorrow, you just need to react at that moment.

    So when someone is angry, they can put their focus onto something that relieves their anger (like the punching bag that Caelus suggested). Having an acceptable place for anger is fine and won't damage anything or anyone else. Once that energy is released physically, the body winds down, and the brain can reopen it's pathway for rational thinking again. 

Reply
  • over 3 years ago

    It's not enough for anyone to just hold their anger in, anger is irrational, because when anyone is angry there's a natural mechanism in the brain that shuts off the rational part (the prefrontal cortex) so that they can just react and deal with whatever's right in front of them, which is makes sense if you have an attacker right in front of you. You don't need to think about what you will have for lunch tomorrow, you just need to react at that moment.

    So when someone is angry, they can put their focus onto something that relieves their anger (like the punching bag that Caelus suggested). Having an acceptable place for anger is fine and won't damage anything or anyone else. Once that energy is released physically, the body winds down, and the brain can reopen it's pathway for rational thinking again. 

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