Published on 12, July, 2020
Several days ago, I found myself on the receiving end of a Friend Request from a new member, which immediately caused me to feel unnerved and suspicious.
I question if it's a generational thing, or if it's just me. At the time that I received this request, there had been no prior interaction on the forum between myself and this member. Furthermore, their member profile was completely blank. Therefore, I had no way of knowing if this person was on a similar wavelength to me, or if we had anything remotely in common.
Kc says that the mods have responded to him but to a post he has not made, and seems quite nonplussed by their situation.
Either we have here someone who really does need some gentle and considerate help, or a massive mickey take.
If Kc continues the dialog we have going, whichever it is should eventually become clear.
Admins of course have have a better view, but they haven't removed the member yet, so I have to proceed by assuming item 1 is true, ass no one has proven malfeasance to my satisfaction yet, although clearly the new member has not been playing even by the simple rules we have, which is why their prescence has been so disruptive.
But my experience of autism has been that it isn't always easy to define and follow the rules, without some external help..
This member is adapting their approach and becoming slowly more forthcoming, so we'll see what develops.
Thank you for the update I Sperg . It is reassuring to know that the Mods are now in some form of dialogue with this member, who, if I have interpreted what you have said correctly, may have more than one identity.
The apology wasn't necessary, but thank you anyway Treevey134777. As the member had added more information after I had commented, it's easy to understand why you may have felt my response was uncalled for
They might think it's a game.
To us it's a pain.
But have you noticed at how self organising and vigilant to the potential hazards this collective appears?
I think the bases are covered from many an unlikely angle. It's a pain but I like how its carried.
Yes, I did go back and apologise to Sporadic Sparkly on that thread having read all of this on here. They’re name was different earlier when I responded to their thread and now it’s back to KC again.
if they’re trolling, it’s kinda sick that they’re doing it on an autism support forum.
Yes. The nappy thread. The OP has changed their name and the original question on that thread.
Yes, it's that one, although they have now changed their name.
Is this the same one that keeps popping up on people’s posts asking them to talk to them and trying to force you to talk to them in private messages? I’ve got one like that and they only say Hi and nothing else. I’ve seen the username on comment sections all through the community
Bless you for your efforts. This is one of those cases where all of the value is genuinely in the journeying, rather than in the ultimate destination that you may find yourselves at. I commend you - (both.)
We seem to making slow progress.. User is dealing with the mods currently, but they seem to have conflated this user now called Kc with another user who is threatening suicide, so if it is (as it seems to be, from the correspondence I am having) a younger member possibly in a different time zone (judging by the pace of our communication, although my odd hours and intermittent availability don't help!) who may be struggling with "shyness" and "how much to say" issues.
Or I may yet prove again to be a "gullible fool", but I'll press on, it's only time, and I might be spending it in a helpful manner...
Yes, I think it's wise to exercise caution, and to do what Paul M. has suggested and observe patterns over time before fully trusting in authenticity from someone you only know online. Speaking for only myself, I know that some kind exchanges on here and one other site over the last year have kept me sane at times, given me hope, and even forged (in the case of the other place - a small Discord community) one or two potential real-life meetups in the future. And even led to tentative collaborative involvement in something in the 'creative' realm if that's not putting it too strongly. Some of the connections and experiences on here/there have felt (have *been*) just as 'real life' as anything 'out here', and arguably even more so since some of the surface superficiality that one senses should not be gone beyond on certain days even with long-term friends, family, acquaintances can be dispensed with when talking to people who also feel marginalised and need to reality-test, find common ground, truly empathise, go un-masked etc.
No hostility intended. No judgement intended. I'm sorry if that is what my words conveyed to you.
I'm just generally interested in your perspective....and moreover...I whole heartedly agreed with you that it is "Not to be trusted."
Peace out.
I agree 100% with what you say about NOT giving away information such as postal address, and not lending or giving someone money.
However, I will have to agree to disagree with your comment about this site not being real life. As a result of reading old posts on this site, I am aware that some members have formed genuine friendships with other members. It's resulted in them meeting up for get-togethers in real life.
Robert124 said:you sound a hundred times less autistic than me.
I thought the autistic community was pushing for 'severity levels of autism' to be done away with, and every autistic to be considered individually? I, at least, believe this to be a good idea.
Why the hostility? And judgement? I wouldn't want to be your friend, you sound a hundred times less autistic than me.
Let me be clear,
Robert124 said:this site, after all it's not real life, it is the internet.
Say what now? Is that how you have survived and thrived within these pages for so long now? Treat it like an alternate reality? That would make it very unappealing to me - I like the fact there are so many real humans banging around here attached to the end of each little white text outburst. Friendly and real ?
Although excessive (by my standards) time has passed, it's too soon to say. I could be being excessively gullible, but Autism is marked by communication issues...
It is good of you to be doing that, so thank you for the time and patience you are investing. Are you getting a sense that they are taking your explanations on board, or is it too soon to say?
I seem to have an ongoing dialog still with this person and am making a real effort to explain to them WHY they have been reported for abuse on multiple occasions and TBH I have the time and patience to invest and the curiosity to try and determine what is going on.
It might be helpful to either the individual or the greater forum. I'll report back when I complete the task.
I am sorry you have been on the receiving end too.