Alcoholism

Yeh that’s fair enough. I wouldn’t go to work parties either they’re too cringey I think. Made that mistake before of going to work nights out. Ended up the girl that was interested in me went for some other guy at my work who just slept with anybody and everybody. Oh well she missed out too just like all the other girls that chose spanner’s over me lol. Oh well I guess they got what they bargained for as all of them ended up getting cheated on or dumped for some other girl. Never tried they things either I watch football though. That’s good that you enjoy it though. I love street parties and all round celebrations. Any way to spend time with people is a bonus. I love doing my own thing and going places. Like festivals and stuff next thing on my list is to go to a rave or something.

Parties? Erm yes and no, I kind of refused to go to one recently because it was with lots of ex colleagues, I said to the wife that I will have to explain what I've been up to for the last few years 20 different times to different people whilst not being able to hear over the music I dont go to the dinner and dance each year that my company puts on either. Actually I sound like a miserable bugger when I write it down. I really like drinking with my friend and chatting with him, watching football / UFC. I really like escape rooms and have you ever tried virtual darts? With the projector computer on the dart board? Brilliant fun I really like them. Our local sports bar has one and boom battle bars have them and shuffleboard. I enjoy that kind of thing! You?

You sound like a good friend. Yeh I like a good drink it’s fun and all. Parties are fun. Do you like parties? What kinda things do you like to do for fun?

Honestly it's not pathetic at all, I think most people l like dutch courage to be a bit more fun!

I would even go as far to say that I can be a better version of myself with a few drinks in me - I'm relaxed, more sociable, funnier etc. I'm not the type to get agitated with alcohol. Once I've had a few I try to get a couple pints of water in before bed and I can feel fine the next day. I usually only drink on a Saturday evening.

The other thing I would say and I've discussed this with my friend, who struggles with alcohol (he sometimes drinks multiple times a week then has periods off of it) it's much better to have a good relationship with alcohol than to abuse it and go cold turkey and demonise it. Although I suppose that's obvious and it's managing that balance that is the difficult part

Yeh they’re a couple a drinks ahead of us good way of looking at it. Basically they already have half in the bag so to speak and we haven’t even started yet lol

I think that some neurotypical people seem to have the ability to be relaxed and have a laugh before they even start drinking, as if they've already had a few!

I don't drink because it doesn't do anything for me, and even a little can make me feel a bit weird, in a way I'm not comfortable with, but I know that for may autistic people it makes them more relaxed, so I understand why they do it.

Hi Stamford that is a very helpful thing you have said there. Yes alcohol is engrained in our culture for many reasons. I too like to be drunk like we all do from time to time. Who wouldn’t? It is simply fun! No analytics no nonsense it’s just plain old fun. But hey imagine we could be like our drunk selves without alcohol. How cool would that be? It must be possible I reckon. I’d love to experience that though. I can’t honestly sit here and judge anybody for drinking. Because we all like to have fun. But what if fun was possible or even realistic without it. I just think that would be cool. But honestly some people just don’t need it at all and I kinda envy those people to be honest. I mean even I can go weeks, months or even years without it but I still find myself thinking about it and wanting it again. Which sounds quite pathetic and that’s because it is. To need alcohol to be myself? Geez that’s low. You may as well walk around with a mask on I am thinking to myself. 

Hi yellow tree. As others have said I think that drinking is so engrained in our culture, that you have to be a bit of a champ at drinking before anyone thinks it's a problem. Now I get addicted to stuff, but I think I manage alcohol ok. Drinking too much too often would concern me of what people thought of me, and affect my job etc. With that said, I love to have a few drinks at the weekend, even at home. If I'm out somewhere, I would say I need the drink to relax and enjoy myself. Without it I'm too quiet, can't keep up conversation, no fun, dry mouth etc. I struggle to draw the line sometimes though. 

I would say a few drinks here and there are fine but sounds like you are maybe using it too regularly to as a coping strategy? Sorry to hear about the fits in bed too. Hope you manage to get the help / change you need

S️tamford

Ah man sorry to hear this. It sounds like alcohol has impacted you in a bad way. I know what it’s like I would love the way it feels too. How you getting on now? Hopefully better. 

What concerns me from my experience of this as an issue,  is that it can be different for autistic people than others.

I don't think seeing this as an addiction and following the default process is safe, for autistic people alcohol isn't just an addiction, sometimes not addicted at all, just dependant on it for social situations. it's a coping mechanism that when taken away could cause some serious harm unless the actual issue of coping is addressed alongside the issue of substance abuse and addiction.

I think there needs to be consideration for this factor too.

From what other people have told me, and what i know of their own demographics, AA isn't solely old men telling stories.

I get you. However, that does not sound good I would suggest talking to your GP practice, go to an AA meeting as they will be able to signpost you to other avenues of support.

Yeh I fell I need it or else I feel ill. I also need it to calm my mind 

Dear Yellow tree 118, 

We are sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult time at the moment. 

You may like to have a look at the mental health section of our website which has useful links to information and advice about a range of mental health issues: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health  

The information on our page about addiction may be of particular interest: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/addiction  

Organisations such as drinkaware provide options of different support lines https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/advice-and-support/alcohol-support-services/support-lines/ 

Kind Regards,

Rosie Mod

A lot of the posts on this resonate with me too.

I always drank a lot when younger, after moving to an office job 20 years back I had to stop drinking on nights when I had work the next day as I couldn't function well. I also ended up on call a lot so that meant I couldn't drink as much.

For many years I just kept it to weekends, it was still unhealthy as I couldn't do a weekend without, it became a ritual.

More recently I've tried to stop drinking at home and just drink socially. I've broken the habit of the "must have a beer on Friday and Saturday".

The big problem for me has two sides, I would be scared to death of a social event without alcohol to help me be ok, it shuts out the noise of my mind a bit and stops me being as self conscious. But on the other hand I feel suicidal, anxious and depressed for a few days after drinking. Once I've had a couple I find it extremely hard to stop, I usually end up regretting how much I drank and very often have passed out asleep and don't remember big chunks of the night.

Not really sure what to do, I'd be better off without it but I'd struggle socialising even more than I do even with a drink in hand. Also find social pressure is hard to resist as I'm always trying to fit in and avoid being the odd one out.

Having lived with an alcoholic and watched them slowly kill themselves makes you somewhat wary about the booze. Do not get me wrong I will drink in a social setting but these are few and far between these days.

We all need a crutch sometimes. Mine is I need something to calm my mind as it is constantly going round and round. I have tried CBD capsules which do calm me.

Here is a question regarding alcohol, do you need it everyday otherwise you feel ill or at ease?

That’s good. I might just go back to the doctor he ought to be able to help me. I don’t feel as though I need AA as I am an alcoholic for a different reason. I am not drinking to blunt emotional wounds like most people. Instead the reason why I drink is to calm down the fits I have and tremors. I mean the doctor is helping me or trying to. He sent me to somebody for more tests but it takes over a year lol. Is what it is I get that services are stretched but I don’t know if I can wait that long.

work out how many units you are drinking per week and how many days you are drinking. If it’s only at social occasions then I would say it’s more of a social crutch or enabler.  I started drinking when still at school, I got it down to weekends and social functions, i fully get that if you drink enough it’s like turning autism off or reducing the affects of it. Strangely enough neurotypical people still see you are different. It’s a bit like watching an AI person on tv, if you look closely enough you can see the ripples in it. 

I found I couldn’t have one drink, also I never woke up wanting a drink, so I can’t be an alcoholic. Drinking had crept up to 4 days a week, I was most probably drinking about 80 units a week and what I would term a functioning alcoholic. 
Don’t dismiss AA, a friend went and was surprised there was people there from all walks of life, doctors, teachers, office workers and tradespeople. Speak to your GP and get advice from them. My GP showed me a chart on his computer, I was in the when something is going to happen group, not if. I’ve not had a drink for over  10 weeks, I know that isn’t long but I do feel a lot better, I actually have less anxiety. It’s getting to where I think about it less and less. Something I have learnt is, if a social occasion is going to be very overwhelming then don’t go, don’t do something because it’s expected of you, they don’t have to pay the price for it.

How will you know if you don't go your self? - to an AA meeting - There is no age limit up or down! Try for 6 weeks and see if it doesn't ring true for yourself after that.

Having a mate means being someone you would want to be with yourself before asking someone else to.