Published on 12, July, 2020
People say I am not an alcoholic. I think they must be deluded. I have been known to drink before going to groups etc. don’t get me wrong it helps in the moment. But should I be doing it? Probably not. Should I be lying to people? No. But it feels like I can’t help it. It makes me feel so good in the moment. I am like someone who loves chocolate and can’t stop themselves from eating it. Except I don’t really care for chocolate. Alcohol is my chocolate. It puts my mind at ease and relaxes my body which is usually flooded with stress and discomfort. I’ve yet to find my own alternative to alcohol. I sought help and they told me ‘you’re not an alcoholic’ ‘you just like a drink like everyone else’ and discharged me. I am not dissing them or anything but I don’t know am I an alcoholic? If I am drinking before social events and hiding it does that not automatically make me an alcoholic? Why do people think there is nothing wrong with me when I feel that there is? These are all some of the questions I ask myself. I defos think I am an alcoholic but everyone else thinks I am normal and don’t have a problem. Life is strange. It’s like I am getting the okay to drink from everyone. Can’t be right though I am going back to the doctor! I just have the feeling in my heart that I am not supposed to drink and that I need help. The help I believe I need is anticonvulsants as I do tend to get fits when I am in bed trying to sleep it’s pretty worriesome. But again I am the only person worried about it. Everyone says it’s fine just leave it! But I am not crazy I know I am right in my heart!
31 years sober here. I went to AA for the first few years.
It's worth going just to listen to alcoholics telling their stories. You may hear similarities. It's not compulsory and (contrary to what you may have heard) you do not have to believe in God.
I’ve been told AA meetings aren’t right for me. As I am a young man and I’ve been told it’s just old men with lots of stories to tell lol. I don’t know where I belong my heart belongs with my football team I know that! I need more time to figure out where I am going in life and what I truly want. I know I want a partner and happiness. How do I achieve that? Not a clue mate! Time will tell.
From what other people have told me, and what i know of their own demographics, AA isn't solely old men telling stories.
That’s good. I might just go back to the doctor he ought to be able to help me. I don’t feel as though I need AA as I am an alcoholic for a different reason. I am not drinking to blunt emotional wounds like most people. Instead the reason why I drink is to calm down the fits I have and tremors. I mean the doctor is helping me or trying to. He sent me to somebody for more tests but it takes over a year lol. Is what it is I get that services are stretched but I don’t know if I can wait that long.
How will you know if you don't go your self? - to an AA meeting - There is no age limit up or down! Try for 6 weeks and see if it doesn't ring true for yourself after that.
Having a mate means being someone you would want to be with yourself before asking someone else to.