What Do I Even Do Anymore?

Im so sorry your feeling like this. I dont know what to say apart from that I have been where you are now and I want to tell you it does not last forever. yes the modern world is a pile of c**p and everything is stacked against us but there is still beauty in it. I go out and feed the ducks at the river and I think about how they havnt changed since hundreds of years ago, everything in nature stays the same and that gives me some peace and joy. The modern world wants us to believe there are no alternatives to it but there are

As for getting a job, thats something I have always struggled with so I dont know what to say. Is there anything you are good at or anything you love? maybe you could find a job with that. You mentioned about becoming homeless, I dont know if you are on Universal Credit but there are saftey nets that could stop that happening. Talk to your local Citizens Advice Beureu they may be able to help. SCOPE offer support and advice on employment for autistic people. they may be a shout as well

All Im saying is dont give up. No matter how hopeless it seems it never truly is. Honestly. thats what Ive learnt. 
Here if you need to talk 

I wanted to be employed and self-sufficient, but the government took that away from us. Now I just want to die.

What do YOU want? 

If resources were of no consequence, what is the best possible scenario you can envision your life to become. This may not be immediately obvious, it may take some time to discover. If we're robbed of agency from a young age, we might not have learned how to escape our surroundings, find time to be and become and learn how to live life on our own terms, in control of our own surroundings.

I did in the past. They couldn't wait to get rid of me. And I HAVE to work, or I wiull just end up homeless, which is probably what the government want for all of us.

Have you spoken to Samaritans? I phoned them once at my lowest ebb and it got me through the night. Please think about it. We’re here for you too, but sometimes talking to another human voice is the crucial lifeline we need. Please hang on in there. Work isn’t everything. Many people don’t or can’t work. You have intrinsic value just by being you. 

I was hoping to get some help finding work. I know it doesn't actually give out employment. I'm beginning to think it doesn't do anything. I worded it very badly.

As for wanting oblivion. I want to die. I'm done.

I think it’s important that you recognise you want oblivion but don’t plan to end your life. I remember listening to a TED talk by an autistic lady who said that what we often want and need is to be like a laptop closed over into extended sleep mode, so burned out are we by things that wouldn’t phase, might even nourish, an NT person. 
 
When you say ‘came here to get work’ do you mean that you hoped that NAS would give you employment? Sorry if I’ve misunderstood 

I just don't want to be alive anymore. I'm trying to find help with just trying to have a normal life, but I think society is just against us.

Akendolfr said:

It's almost as if this place is just some sort of front for the government to say they are actually helping the autistic, when infact, they are just leaving us to die.

this web site isn't run by the government, just so you know.

Akendolfr said:

I'm going to keep getting hassle from DWP to find work while I wait ages for therapy

I feel you. I know the dwp are about as useful as a Swiss cheese cork. That said maybe some people here can recommend some charities that can help? I wouldn't mind some advice on that myself.