Anxiety - how do you cope?

Thanks Roy - I’m going to try this. I checked out the ingredients and it has lots of things in it that I really like. Thanks for the recommendation!

This is a product that I’ve found really helpful, after a bath a lot of anxiety just seems to go. I then normally have sleepy tea and listen to an audiobook. I’ve recommended it to a few people and had really good feedback. Boots the chemist sell it for £5.99, The chain ‘Savers’ sell it for £2.99!

There are real things in life which are worth being mindful about. Preventive.

I would suggest long term you find a puppy who will turn into a watch dog. But I would spend time researching dogs for the right one, not just for personality and lifestyle, but one who will have a connexion to also care for your other dog. But perhaps one who will need a ritual of exercise, maybe part husky?

This kind of being anxiety can be due to a wealth of built up unresolved issues or even unresolved understanding, which most of us experience. How does society function? How do humans connect? What makes a bumblebee fly. They could be extensive or even unresolved matters from relationships. I might suggest to see if you can't just buy a small notebook or a plain notebook and try writing things down. There's no overnight fix. But one needs to explore everything setting the self on edge. And find a sort of grounding - perhaps a spiritual one and also a physical one (knitting, yoga, walking, etc.)

Thank Shardovan - I will get the book you mention. I would be incredibly grateful for even the briefest respite from my anxiety at this point, as I’m finding it so hard to cope with. I’m really struggling to cope at the moment. I’m sorry you’ve experienced so much pain from this too. It’s so hard. Solidarity my friend. 

I'd say 80% of my anxiety is controlled by medication as it helps my mind rid of the silly worried thoughts that would often float around in my head but still leaves room for my logical thought process to remain active.

Obviously keeping my mind ticking over either by work or hobbies helps stop my mind from having the time to do too much think too so creates less anxiety also.

Not very well, I have my fidget cube with me 24/7 at the moment 

I’m glad that your daughter is being helped by that medication, sounds like it’s been something of a game changer. It’s interesting you should mention antihistamines as I’ve been finding that Loratadine - which I take for hay fever anyway- seems to take the edge off just a little bit. I have to ration my remaining diazepam carefully, so having a plan B that’s over the counter offers a bit of an alternative coping strategy. Even the ‘non drowsy’ ones do make me quite tired, but I’d rather that than the alternative. 

I've read all the replies with great interest and really hope everyone can find their own little bit of peace somehow. I can't add much other than mentioning that Promethazine (which is just an over the counter med usually used as an anti-histamine) has been a bit of a life saver for my daughter during her most anxious times. She gets so anxious that she hallucinates really badly and can get into quite a dangerous state where she is capable of doing all sorts of things. If she takes 25mg of Promethazine if she feels she is likely to go into one of those states, it really helps and I would say it has actually prevented many trips to A&E. It does act as a sedative, so isn't ideal if you need to drive, but she does sometimes take 10mg before school if she feels she needs to (although I think this dose has more of a placebo effect). It takes an hour or so to kick in so you need to be pro-active and aware of when you might need it, but I would really recommend having some in the house/your bag for those really difficult times.  

That's really well put. I really identify with the 'never goes away' dimension, and the mind choosing times of rest to double down on the awfulness. I'd say that for me, anxiety is on a good day present as constant background radiation, and on a bad one I'm just completely composed of it - it consumes me. Sleep is the only true release, and maybe the blissful 30 seconds or so when regaining consciousness - before the first thought kicks in and starts the ball rolling again. The recent ASD diagnosis has helped a lot with understanding why techniques that others find very beneficial (meditation, medication, throwing themselves into an activity)more typically only take the edge off a bit for me. I became entirely resistant to Sertraline, Venlaxafine etc. within months/weeks of starting them, and I now realise that autistic people don't feel the benefits in the same way. All I was left with were awful side effects (weight gain, restless limbs, insomnia), so I came off them. I recently asked my GP's permission to get 28 diazepam every 6 months and ration them to avoid addiction. They help a little bit, I think, but not as much as they would an NT with anxiety of the more regular kind. 

I'm tortured with rumination over events that most people seemingly would (horrifically in my opinion - I'm not sure I'd ever trade my suffering for their eventual, or sooner, coldness/indifference) get over after a briefer spell. I honestly think I'll spend the rest of my life striving for some sort of radical acceptance about deep hurt and confusion about some stuff - the iron price for briefer, more miraculously happy times. I wouldn't change those for the world so I know I shouldn't complain. It's just very hard to walk this path alone, without closure or the likelihood of ever mending bridges. Life is just very hard most of the time now. Managing anxiety can sometimes be about getting through the next five minutes, then the next. 

It's weird - for the briefest of moments about three years ago, I was helped enormously by Tolle's The Power of Now. It's still worth re-visting that (audio)book time and time again (I may need to do so very soon to stay sane), but it's almost like the universe played a bit of a cosmic joke on me. It let me have that brief peace, even let some profoundly wonderful situations enter my life through the different energy it gave me. Then things went off the rails in ways I still can't even fully understand - and the punchline seemed to be 'OK, now try embracing the 'suchness' of *this* eternal moment and see how you get on - byeee'. And, like an addict trying to get back that first hit, my subsequent attempts to re-access that state of grace have had much less effectiveness. Still just enough, on a good day,  to be worthwhile, but - again- only taking the edge off the existential horror and unrelenting despair of not being designed to ever fit in. 

And yet, would I trade in my neurodivergent brain for a more normal one? I don't think so. The inevitable  suffering is unbearable at times, but to gain a calmer default state but lose my ability to stand obliquely to things and sometimes know with lonely certainty that I'm part of a sane minority in a population otherwise designed to be unconcsiously insane, who contradict themselves blindly at every turn, and run breakneck in pusuit of societal box-ticks that are based on fitting in, not true individualism? No thanks, I'll take the unending pain instead. 

I know all I've done is vent rather than offer something positive. Sorry! Though maybe do try that book if you haven't already - it's got some important insights about how to cope with existence that certainly can't hurt to know.

Honestly, keep yourself distracted. Anxiety and stress are two ideas that will never fully go away. They'll always hover over you, sometimes heavily sometimes more subtly. The worst is when you have too much free time and allow your mind to wander off into fucked up areas.

Personally, I like to go to the gym to release stress, listen to my favorite albums, pick up the guitar, or go around the city with my camera. And also, for some reason, caffeine somehow subdues my anxiety levels.

Also, a couple hits off a joint can't omegle.2yu.co hurt.

I’m sorry to hear that Becky. I understand it - I struggle so much with anxiety and at times it’s driven me to have suicidal thoughts. It’s such a difficult thing to live with - especially when it goes on for months and years. Over the last few months my anxiety has been totally overwhelming. In the past I’ve used alcohol to help me cope with my anxiety. I have a quite low tolerance for alcohol so in a way that was good as I never really went over about 3 units a night. It dulls the anxiety. I had a really serious physical illness late last year though so haven’t had much alcohol since as I feel it’s bad for my recovery. I still have it sometimes though if I am feeling really desperate. I only wish I could get really good help from the nhs for my anxiety - but that’s not easy to access sadly. We are all doing our best aren’t we? Trying to cope with dreadful anxiety on your own is really hard. 

I've used alcohol as well. Specifically wine. It numbs the anxiety and stress for a little while. Usually I'll have a glass or three every night which can't be good for me but it helps so I do it. If my anxiety gets severe and really bad and I can't cope in the past I've tried to commit suicide to escape it - not proud of that, but sometimes it feels like the only way out. Last time it was that bad was February.

Most of us have probably already been to the GP. I am actually going to ask for medication now as councelling implies I have time to work through the tasks but I can’t do that in a workplace when the condition seems perminent. 

I’m ashamed to say that I’ve used alcohol for all of my adult life to try and combat anxiety. I know it’s not the answer and it is a depressive but it’s how I cope. I have been a lot better recently, it’s only been 4 months since  I’ve known that I’m autistic. It’s a very big learning curve. I have started treating me better and feel a lot more positive.

I don't cope very well at all with anxiety. It's a big part of my life and every day now can't seem to control it.

My mum is talking about getting me help for this again but I'm not ok with it as the doctor I saw last time wasn't very helpful or understanding.

That’s really interesting - thank you (Melon). It’s encouraging to hear that you’ve made progress - sometimes i worry I’ll feel like this forever, so it’s good to hear that you’ve found things that ally help. I’m on a waiting list for CBT but have only just gone on the list - so I think it will be many months before I get that help. I’ve found some good things on YouTube - but they’re very genal so not a replacement for proper therapy. Thanks

Hi,

My anxiety has got much more manageable after having CBT and talking therapy through the NHS so I can recommend trying to get some of that. You can ask someone you trust to be with you on the phone so they can talk for you when it gets hard or your GP might have an email address where you can explain your difficulties talking on the phone and they can make suggestions. 

I would recommend looking into CBT and Mindfulness while you wait (because waitlists can be long) CBT can give you a different perspective on your anxiety so you can work your way through tasks that make you anxious. Mindfulness kind of gives you the space to change your thought patterns. I'm not explaining this well but trust me, it's worth looking into books and YouTube videos. 

The woman who diagnosed me said that some anxiety therapies work by correcting your fear response to a theoretical threat that doesn't exist and that's where CBT is helpful, it can stop you being afraid of say getting in the bus if your fear is hypothetical and not really reality,  but autistic people are often afraid and anxious because of real consequences that neurotypical people don't experience, eg. "If I go to dinner round a friend's house and I try to explain that I don't like my food cooked like that, their parents may get angry at me for being rude." So in that case you are dealing with an anxiety reaction to a real worry that may actually happen. And that's where mindfulness is more helpful than CBT because it teaches you to be more comfortable with difficult feelings and experiences while still acknowledging that they are real. 

Please don't give up because anxiety can get easier to deal with. I still get anxious days but I am SOOO much better that I was and I never thought I would be in a million years.

Hello, if you are struggling with anxiety you may like to have a look at the NHS inform self help guide for anxiety.

I will drop the link here:

https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/mental-health/mental-health-self-help-guides/anxiety-self-help-guide

If you feel unable to cope with your anxiety please reach out to your GP for help and support.

All the very best,

AngelMod.

I am not coping and I am going to write a separate article as I have to mix in the other people world and it’s making me very unwell. I now have chronic high blood pressure and may not be here if it wasn’t for strong medication. I have limited support as I am waiting for a diagnosis. I have just started a new job and the learning style is not suiting me. The employer knows they have to make reasonable adjustments but these would be in the form of making the environment a bit quieter. I am struggling with the social side of meeting a bunch of new people that don’t understand my condition and expect me to just open up my problems and not like my masking tactic of keeping all of my emotions to myself. If I were to have a full on meltdown they’d probably not accept that either. Is like they have been told I am different but still expect me to think the same. I have tried CBT but this is only useful when I am on my own. CBT doesn’t really work when you have to be around people all day and they expect you to behave normally and not act like you are interested in meditation and your coping strategies more than you are interested in the culture of the people. I am going to go back to my GP and see if I can get some prescription medication. I am not sure I can cope with people that expect me to behave like they behave. It would be better to shut the emotion off chemically and carry on with my duties during the day. 

Anxiety makes me a baby, with my phone as the DoDo.