Anxiety - how do you cope?

I don't cope very well at all with anxiety. It's a big part of my life and every day now can't seem to control it.

My mum is talking about getting me help for this again but I'm not ok with it as the doctor I saw last time wasn't very helpful or understanding.

That’s really interesting - thank you (Melon). It’s encouraging to hear that you’ve made progress - sometimes i worry I’ll feel like this forever, so it’s good to hear that you’ve found things that ally help. I’m on a waiting list for CBT but have only just gone on the list - so I think it will be many months before I get that help. I’ve found some good things on YouTube - but they’re very genal so not a replacement for proper therapy. Thanks

Hi,

My anxiety has got much more manageable after having CBT and talking therapy through the NHS so I can recommend trying to get some of that. You can ask someone you trust to be with you on the phone so they can talk for you when it gets hard or your GP might have an email address where you can explain your difficulties talking on the phone and they can make suggestions. 

I would recommend looking into CBT and Mindfulness while you wait (because waitlists can be long) CBT can give you a different perspective on your anxiety so you can work your way through tasks that make you anxious. Mindfulness kind of gives you the space to change your thought patterns. I'm not explaining this well but trust me, it's worth looking into books and YouTube videos. 

The woman who diagnosed me said that some anxiety therapies work by correcting your fear response to a theoretical threat that doesn't exist and that's where CBT is helpful, it can stop you being afraid of say getting in the bus if your fear is hypothetical and not really reality,  but autistic people are often afraid and anxious because of real consequences that neurotypical people don't experience, eg. "If I go to dinner round a friend's house and I try to explain that I don't like my food cooked like that, their parents may get angry at me for being rude." So in that case you are dealing with an anxiety reaction to a real worry that may actually happen. And that's where mindfulness is more helpful than CBT because it teaches you to be more comfortable with difficult feelings and experiences while still acknowledging that they are real. 

Please don't give up because anxiety can get easier to deal with. I still get anxious days but I am SOOO much better that I was and I never thought I would be in a million years.

Hello, if you are struggling with anxiety you may like to have a look at the NHS inform self help guide for anxiety.

I will drop the link here:

https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/mental-health/mental-health-self-help-guides/anxiety-self-help-guide

If you feel unable to cope with your anxiety please reach out to your GP for help and support.

All the very best,

AngelMod.

I am not coping and I am going to write a separate article as I have to mix in the other people world and it’s making me very unwell. I now have chronic high blood pressure and may not be here if it wasn’t for strong medication. I have limited support as I am waiting for a diagnosis. I have just started a new job and the learning style is not suiting me. The employer knows they have to make reasonable adjustments but these would be in the form of making the environment a bit quieter. I am struggling with the social side of meeting a bunch of new people that don’t understand my condition and expect me to just open up my problems and not like my masking tactic of keeping all of my emotions to myself. If I were to have a full on meltdown they’d probably not accept that either. Is like they have been told I am different but still expect me to think the same. I have tried CBT but this is only useful when I am on my own. CBT doesn’t really work when you have to be around people all day and they expect you to behave normally and not act like you are interested in meditation and your coping strategies more than you are interested in the culture of the people. I am going to go back to my GP and see if I can get some prescription medication. I am not sure I can cope with people that expect me to behave like they behave. It would be better to shut the emotion off chemically and carry on with my duties during the day. 

Your welcome Jess! I look forward to hearing from you. Have a great day! Jim

Hii Jim, thanks for the suggestion. I will give this a try at some point and let you know how I got on :) 

Thanks Cullpepper I am very self critical of everything I do, I am trying to work on this. I'll keep working on my drawings :) 

Thanks Jess,

I only sing at the moment. I don't get much practice or singing done in the usual sense but I communicate by singing song quotes. Maybe I should do a video on some singing practice hacks!

One trick is to put ear plugs in and try to feel vibration. Place a hand on your chest and see if you can feel the vibrations. And then maybe see if you can feel different parts of your face vibrating. When you have found how to relax one area move onto another the goal being to see if you can get as much as your body vibrating as possible. If you get really good at this you can feel chills all up and down your body. 

This may not be the first thing to try but its the first thing that comes to my head without being to demonstrate with more than words that is unlikely to cause confusion!

The other positive is.... no cringing! Don't do it for too long at a time as excessive sensory deprivation may lead to hallucinations even in the healthy! 

Maybe after you have been trying this twenty minutes a day for two weeks. Take out the earplugs at the end of a session and see if you are still cringing. You might surprise yourself!

All the best Jess. You can enjoy singing too! Straight up!

Jim

Anxiety makes me a baby, with my phone as the DoDo. 

Thanks Cullpepper paper mache sounds good for my hands (peripheral neuropathy)

Jim

Jess you say you think your drawings are rubbish, but the artists who ran the group i joined use to tell us ....... There is no right way to do it, and there is no wrong way to do it..... there is onlt 'your' way.

Jimberry, if you fancy sculpture, we only used paper mache

On Youtube there are loads of videos giving ideas about abstract art.

I like singing but mostly when it's done by other people :p I sing sometimes but it sounds so bad I just stop because it hurts my ears and makes me cringe. I did actually follow some singing lessons last year on YouTube and I did this for a month and a half but I didn't notice any improvements so I stopped in the end. I might give it another try at some point but for now I'll just stick to listening to others.

Do you do a lot of singing? :) It sounds like you enjoy it a lot. I'm glad you do.

Hey it doesn't matter if you sound terrible whatsoever, though I have not once met anyone who does not improve by doing.

Even the very worst cases of 'tone-deafness' (fallacy in the vast majority of cases, true inability is exceptionally rare indeed, most people have simply been insulted at a young/tender age by bullies who are too embarrassed to sing themselves!) can be overcome and I have seen it happen over time before my very eyes.

I would gladly sing with you if you wanted support!.

I cannot recommend singing highly enough to everyone here at the NAS!

Cheers, 

Jim

Hi Jess,

Having the worst singing voice is the very best reason to sing!

Singing like any other physical activity is dependent on fitness/exercise! The more you do it the better you will sound.

Besides it is a very good activity for the body the brain and the emotions and if you go someplace that nobody can hear you it doesn't matter if you don't sound as you would wish at first!

Kind regards, 

Jim

I can do walking if it's not too busy and too quiet. But I don't sing, I have the worst singing voice ever...

Hope you have a great day too!

Lol yes you're probably right. It's easy to sit and just be anxious, let it win... I have tried to be a bit more active this afternoon. I don't have any paint so couldn't do that but I do have pencils so I've done a little drawing instead and I'm not feeling super anxious at the moment so maybe that's a bit of progress already? I feel anxious and on edge but it's not making me feel rundown like usual. 

Feel a bit sad though as my drawings are rubbish lol!

Hi Jess, I tentatively suggest...

Walking and singing perhaps?

Have a great day!

Jim

Great stuff Cullpepper, Sculpture really appeals to me and seems really appropriate for anxiety management especially for autistics.

Have a great day!

Jim

Yes - it’s a bit of a vicious circle - you lose the motivation. I feel this too at the moment. Perhaps we just need to start and then hopefully we’ll get drawn into whatever project it is and get mo motivated as we go along? I hope so. I feel flat as a pancake at the moment! (A very scared and anxious pancake! )