my son has aspergers

Hi,i'm Kenny, i'm 42. I've done several online Autism tests and these indicate that i've got mild Autism. I find it very difficult, and stressful, to interact with people. I also find it difficult to make eye contact, i've got some obsessional hobbies which are all-consuming! Formula 1,music, reading about history. My doctor diagnosed me with social anxiety disorder years ago, its only been the past couple of years that i've started to question that diagnosis. I've read up on Autism and done the online tests and i'm 99% sure now that i've got mild Autism. I would really like to hear from other people with Autism, diagnosed or not.

are you ok

how are things now

When you first say to someone Autism or Asperger syndrome the reaction you get is that the child is backwards or less able, people I have spoken to have very little or no knowledge.

I am the father of a three year old who is on the Autistic Spectrum and has been diagnosed with mild Asperger Syndrome.   

Early signs were picked up at home. This included hand flapping, delay in speech and physical movement. It was only when at the age of 2 ½ my son started nursery and staff showed signs of concern.  His eye contact was limited and he didn’t understand spatial awareness. He would quite often roll around on the floor close to others feet and in areas of danger. He built a strong relationship with a senior member of the nursery team, who helped him with his social skills and speech. He has always had a very good understanding and would communicate well without speech.

His speech picked up very quick and his understanding and communication skills are above average for his age. I refer back to my first passage “backwards” or “ less able”, this is not the case. He has incredible attention to detail, a fantastic memory and is excellent with numbers and letters. Do you know many children at the age of 3 that can remember 10 items on a shopping list, talk for 15 minutes solid on an event that occurred several weeks ago or complete a complex puzzle on his own?

There are barriers in his daily life. The first thing that comes to mind are gates/doors. If he enters a gate or door he wants either himself or Mummy and Daddy to close it. If another person enters he will have a  breakdown. This has always been a struggle to manage, getting angry with him isn’t the answer. Health professionals have suggested role play and storytelling at home that includes the entering and closing or gates/doors.

Second, food texture. He won’t eat or try certain textures. He won’t have butter on his bread, eat cheese unless on a pizza or non visible on food, drink cow’s milk. He won’t try traditional home cooked food or have food covered with a sauce.

Third, routine. Bedtimes include following the same routine every night. This can be difficult if both parents are not present or in a different environment (staying away). He needs to be reminded and told  several times during the day that tonight’s routine will change.

There are many other hurdles and barriers which we have to adapt too including hitting himself if it’s not going his way, the hitting of his younger sibling for no reason.   

I have not found it easy with having OCD myself. I have not always managed the situation well and I get very angry at times. I am learning myself to adapt to the needs of my son and learn to live with his ways. I don’t want him to be labelled or referred to as a problem child. There is no cure for his condition but we will give the best possible help and support so he can fulfil his own dreams.

if ok you had a lot to do and a lot of things to do and your son is more important and nothing to be sorry for and thanks and u are welcome and im stressed to my kids and my ex and finances and just life in general and i take on everyones troubles and try to help others first despite being autistic hopefully hear from u soon hope u ok take care and thanks

hi  i was the one at fault i said i would get back to you and i didnt for some time so I am sorry. Dont underestermate how much it means to chat to someone who unerstands when things are so stressfull , you helped alot and i thankyou for that. Hopeyour stress can be resolved or perhaps i could help in anyway?

take care

sorry if i was a bit ott with the messages i was just worried i tend to worry about others before me and like to help people. I always put others first which is a good thing until sometimes u get treated like a mug and walked over and taken advantage of and i am glad things are slowly starting to hopefully looking up and sounds like things have been very busy and stressed do u have any help from family or a partner and u are welcome but i didnt do that much and sorry if came across as pestering u and thats ok i understand you have more important people to worry about than me but thanks for asking how i am i am very stressed look forward to hearing from u again soon if and when u can

Hi i am so sorry i havent been on here for a while, we came to a bit of a crisis and i couldnt get hold of his psych nurse as was on holiday, I became so upset and emotional I think it all got on top of me .I vowed not to cook again and told my son he had to take control of his situaton himself. i then had too work long hours and found he was eating the odd slice of toast which was a start. Following lots of discussions he is now tying to remember to eat when i am not here and he is trying to eat the meal i cook for him. We are seeing the pychiatrist soon as still not maintaining calories.

you were a great help as I get very stressed at times and you were grat support, i am sorry i didnt updateyou earlier. Hope all is well with you

thanks i just worry i offended people and hate getting on the wrong side of people

rr84 I think some members are only on here sporadically, it doesn't mean you have offended them or anything.

have i done something to annoy you 

hows things with ur life now

are things any better for u

have u any luck with getting help

did u have a better day today

ur are very welcome hope goes ok and make sure u do try and have a nice night and im here remember that take care speak soon bye for now

oh thankyou so much i will get onto these thankyou. I will let you know how i get on 

i just looke on the internet and on the nhs website it said there is a eating disorder charity and their number is 0845 6341414 and a seperate youth helpline 0845 634 7650  and they said to try cogintive behaviour therapy and interpersonal psychoteraphy or there is dietary counselling  and psychodymanic therapy  counselling which is to talk about persoanlity experiences and how it affects every area of ur life and family therapy so trying to go to your doctor to talk about these and there is a priory hospital in bristol for eating disorders the number is 0117 952 5255 hope these helps sorry you are going through this and good luck

dont really know how to access these, i just dont know what approach to take with him anymore, tried food diaries, but that put more focus on food and he ate less!!. He is really bright but thinks I am over reacting as he just has no perception of how this affecting him even tho he knows he has no strength to do anything and dont want to leave the house. I will try and phone Cahms tomorrow but he is good at reassuring them all is fine and it is so not

what about eating clinics and been better thanks for asking though if u need a chat im here