New Here

I hope this community might help you too.  Another publication is from myself entitled...

My Life with Autism and available at all good bookshops such as Waterstones.  To get a comparison Philip Wylie's publication.  I am enclosing details about myself and as follows....

This book reveals the struggles that Michael experienced throughout his life, including the doctors telling his parents that he would never read and write. 

In his teenage years, he was unable to relate properly to members of the opposite sex. He often felt left out and very upset seeing them with boyfriends. 

It wasn’t until later in life that Michael started to behave like other people in his own age group. He went on to gain qualifications in City and Guilds in Painting and Decorating and others besides.

Since then, Michael has developed and has a good life, living independently on his own in sheltered accommodation.
Despite his disability, he has made and continues to make considerable effort to communicate and stay in touch with a wide variety of friends and family.

I composed this section to give a general concept what to expect if deciding to purchase either one of our accounts living with autism.  So good luck.

And Good Luck to you too Mark. You hit the nail on the head. Let's see how things work out. I do think we are better off with having an explanation at least rather than constantly blaming ourselves.

I had some counselling for depression which resulted in the report back to my GP suggesting an assessment for Autism. When they agreed to refer me I was lucky to be able to choose an on-line service provider funded by the NHS which was much quicker than waiting two years for the local NHS team.

Hi Ron, 

      Welcome.  I'm 55 and just been diagnosed.  It's very early days for me too.  A couple of months ago I didn't really even know what autism was. My wife is currently the only person who knows and she's struggling with it.  I Think the other points made in this thread ring true.  I think my essential self hasn't changed, and I'm trying to be positive in that a lot of the many difficulties in my life make much more sense when viewed through the lens of Autism, rather than being some failure on my behalf. I'm very wary of speaking to other people about it, until I've let it all settle in my head.  In my case, and I suspect many others who are diagnosed late are the same, I'm not sure people will take me seriously as I'm obviously very good at camouflaging my autism.  If I persist, I suspect many people who don't know me really well, and even some that do, may pull away from me, thinking I've been hiding something from them, which will be treated with suspicion / ignorance. Frankly, though, I'm exhausted after spending more than 50 years trying to navigate through a world that often confuses me.  I'm going to take it one step at a time.  Good luck to you Ron

Mark 

Angel1309 said:

I am worried if I do take this further to be assessed I will be judged and those around me will look at me different

You don't have to tell them you are being assessed or share the diagnosis. It should be for your benefit as they clearly don't care enough to want to find out more.

You could try to educate them, but I've seen little success with this when others tried it.

I would say do it yourself and use it to educate yourself and make life easier. No need to make others understand or care as it seems this is not happening for you anyway.

Hi, Precious,

Thank you for the welcome

H Ron

my mum at 57 diagnosed with autism recently and understand what you mean by family resistance it’s very difficult. A couple of comments have been made like ‘why do we have to have a label of how we behave’ and me personally have had to face that I have traits just like my mum and find life very tough myself and always questioning why others sail through their life and I find I’m going through every obstacle possible. 

i have tried to reach out to my partner and mentioned that I relate to my mum and just get told that it is my personality and that we are all different and do not be silly you do not have it just because your mum has it. 

I am worried if I do take this further to be assessed I will be judged and those around me will look at me different but need to do what I need to do to be able to face it and deal with it. 

hope you are able to find a way like I hope to.

Aimee

Hello  

Welcome to the online community.

Martin,

My autism traits defently date back to childhood same as the ADHD traits. Sometimes I honestly feel like I have struggled with every day life/activities all of my life. And when I'm really struggling with thing my communication is awful, I sometimes won't communicate at all. Letting it all stay in my head.

You proberly are thinking all my god, what is she on about. THANK YOU.. 

Happy to help.

I would take some autism tests: AQ10 and AQ50 (sometimes called just 'AQ') are the most commonly used by clinicians in this country, but the RAADS-R is the most definitive. They can be found here: https://embrace-autism.com/autism-tests/ to give yourself as much ammunition as possible in order to convince your GP to refer you. Have a look online for the autism diagnosis manuals, they will give you an idea what traits you need to show in order to get a diagnosis. You will also need to show that your traits have a day to day 'deleterious' effect on you, and that autism traits date back to childhood. Good luck!

Hi, Martin,

Thank you so much for replying to my message.

Oh wow, that expensive isn't it. I will be 52 this August, in October 2022 I was diagnosed with ADHD and I am on meds for this. I will have to contact my doctor for a referral. 

Thank you again Martin.

Alison

If you have enough money (around £600 - £2,000 depending on provider) you can refer yourself for a private autism assessment. Otherwise, either through the NHS directly, or 'The Right to Choose' (where the NHS pays for a private diagnosis for you) a GP referral is necessary.

Hi, Iain,

I was woundering,  did you have to go through your doctors for a diagnosis assessement or can someone refer them selfs to be diagnosed.

I think that an autism diagnosis is very unlikely to change your essential self, and so is also unlikely to greatly impact any relationships you have. People you like, you will still like and people who like you, will still like you.

What a diagnosis mostly gives is a greater level of self-awareness. In turn, this may help you to forgive yourself for past failings and also forgive others for failing, or hurting you. Also, getting to know how your personal autism affects you may allow you to create more efficient 'work arounds', so that you will be able to function better in society - a society that is often hostile to autistic people.

Hello Ron, welcome to the club. I was 54 when I was diagnosed so know a bit about what you are going through.

You may be interested to read the book:

Very Late Diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome - Philip Wylie, Luke Beardon, Sara Heath (2014)
ISBN 9781849054331

It seems written for people in our situation and explains a lot about what you are likely to want to ask.

Note that the term Aspergers is a subset of the autism spectrum and is primarily for people with relatively low needs compared to those who are non-verbal - it sounds like the case for you. It is not used so much anymore as it was merged with autism for diagnostic purposes by the medical community.

If you don't want to wade through a book then fire away with questions and we will do our best to help. Please be as specific as you can be about the issues and that will help us give a targetted answer.

There are loads of friendly, helpful and knowledable people on here who will make you feel at home I'm sure.