Female and diagnosed at almost 58 years old

I felt the same when a few people here started to respond to me in a way that I was not used to - ie they seemed to actually know what the bleeding hell I was chatting about.  It was SO refreshing after the endless "man-up" "take back control" "knuckle down" "you're just depressed" well-meaning (but vapid and pointless) responses I was used to when I tried to explain what my head was doing.

It is different here.  Better.

Yay at last people who "get it". Thank you for your reply. I had a cry which was good. I love what you say. To know that these are typical feelings and thoughts. It is a relief to know why i have felt this way. Trying to be like others has been exhausting. 

Thank you x

Good evening Tulip.

I'm in my 50's and realised I was autistic last summer.  Everything you write above makes perfect sense......accordingly, you do fit in somewhere = here.  Welcome.

I don't think life gets worse as you get older, but I have certainly changed quite a bit as I have gotten older.  Not all of that (by any means) has anything at all to do with discovering my autistic reality - much of it is simply to do with ageing and wisdom increasing.  Don't panic !  All is well.....you might just be realising that you can't be bothered with all the nonsensical ball aux that you have been putting up with for the last 58 years.  Personally, I think that is progress !

I love the clarity of your "wants" above.  I think that is your wisdom blossoming?  Unfortunately, we all do need to "live" in the world that we find ourselves in, so only you can decide whether what you "want" is appropriate for you..........but for what its worth, your "wants" seem wholly reasonable and healthy, so I'd be minded just to pursue them and 'to hell with the rest.'

I note that you haven't been around on these pages for long.  I would urge you to stick around.  Personally, it has been a MASSIVE blessing to realise that there are other humans who perceive the world more like I do and have challenges and concerns that are nearly as weird and "otherly" as my own.  It has been so calming to realise this.

It's not always joy and harmony on these pages, but I would rather be here with my fellow misfits/autists who seem to understand and communicate with me effectively and happily........rather than anywhere else.  I genuinely could not have hoped for so many disparate voices to resonate with my own.

Give your dog a big kiss from me.  Stay clam, keep thinking, stay sane and hang around for some reassuringly "aligned" thoughts and experiences to share with others.  There is a very good chance that we are your tribe, if you want us to be.

See you around.

Kindest regards

Number.

Hi 

The waiting list in Wales is up to 2 years. I am 59 years old.

I am waiting for an assessment. It is now obvious that i am autistic/OCD, the penny dropped in January this year. But i am struggling because i dont know myself or how i am meant to be or feel.. Do i stop trying as i am so tired? Do i now go easy on myself because i am autistic?  Im lonely but i dont want to be with people. Im irritable. 

I want to run away (behaviour that i now recognise several times in my life when i have moved areas, like i need to get away). Now i want to do it again. Sell my flat and live by the sea. I won't be able to buy a property again, but that doesn't matter to me. Its like i dont belong anywhere, i have always felt like this. 

I want 3 things in life; to live by the sea, have a bath and a place where my dog can step out into the  garden.

Does life get worse as we get older? X

I was diagnosed around the same age as you. I hated it for a whole year because I had such a successful life that I had no idea how hard I had to try. Shocking,I know,but it did not explain anything to me. I am happy to be diagnosed because the neurologist was looking for dementia or Alzheimer's,and autism seemed a reasonable alternative. Now I hate it again because it prevents me from discussing my health issues and now,six years after my diagnosis I have a number of other long term conditions,some co-morbid with autism and some that neurotypicals will have. It is very difficult to be disabled and autistic. It is very difficult to be neurotypical and disabled - time they called it differently able.Autism,even at our level is only a big issue if we struggle with proprioception and other inner senses,as well as health issues and ageing. If you are able to maintain your health and age in a way that does not impact on your mobility your autism will be a positive bonus to your life. Sometimes effort is a really big deal. I trust the rest of your journey is a positive one.

Welcome to the forum :) 

You're never too old to be diagnosed, it's a wonderful life changing for many on the spectrum of any age.

I hope it's answered a lot of questions for you and brought you comfort. I hope you can find some answers and support here.

I was saying it's meant to be 3 months. Nobody is getting seen in 3 months. Even when my son was diagnosed 17 years ago it took over 6 months. 

I'm glad you got the assessment eventually.  

I'd be surprised if anywhere actually does it within 3 months with how badly hit NHS services have been in the last few years and the massive pile up because they stopped doing them in the covid era.

I was told it was an 18 month wait where I am because they straight up stopped doing adult ASD assessments in East London. After 6 months on the list I was told I was still 18 months away. Thankfully my Borough started doing them again and I got in there, but it was at least 10 months between my referral and the assessment (and I possibly got a little priority because I was being referred by a psychiatrist and I was/am in a mess)

It very much depends on where you live. It is meant to be within 3 months. At my assessment to see if I qualify for an assessment I asked how long the wait time is, and was told 4 years. I live in the NE of England. I got on the waiting list for Lorna Wing at the beginning of 2021 and will be assessed next month (paying to go private). 

Learn as much as you can about autism in women and see if things start to make sense for you. Squarepeg is an excellent podcast for women and non-binary people who identify as autistic. You get to hear perspectives and experiences from all age groups. Amy has created a lovely supportive community. I think I've learned more from listening to that than years of reading books by "experts" (my son was diagnosed 17 years ago so I've read a lot). 

Hi. Unfortunately people can be on NHS waiting lists for diagnosis for a long time. It would maybe be worth speaking to your Dr to ask them what it's like in your area. I had been fortunate enough to have been able to go privately, which made things much easier.

Hi I'm 55 and grateful to have found this thread . I'm not diagnosed but may I ask how long it took people to get diagnosed. A late friend said to me I was aspergers and I dismissed it immediately but the more they talked about it the more I said 'yes I do that' . I don't have ''friends'' as this has always been difficult. But the whole thing has made me question from childhood to adulthood and why I've always felt like an outsider. From school through to work life. I can't see me from 'over there' if I'm 'sitting here' if that makes sense? It's really made me question 'who I am' which is quite a confusing time. 

I'm yet to be assessed.  I have a GP appointment later this week to request one.  Many years ago I was dismissed by a GP who took one look at me and said you're not autistic; floored me for a long time. Times have changed and I'm now at the age where I want to know. The replies on here are lovely, but the main thing I pick up on is be kind to yourself.

Hi I was diagnosed last year age 56, I still have difficulties with things but feel much better and I’m kinder to myself. The only way is up! All the best.

Hello,  I'm also female - aged 65 (nearly 66!) and have been diagnosed this morning also with ASD Level 1.  I am so relieved - it explains how my life has been up to now!  I'm not going nuts - I'm autistic!!  It will take a while to fully process but I'm getting there! 

This is starting to look like a competition for who was the oldest when diagnosed There is a lady on one of the threads who was diagnosed in her 70s

I was very recently diagnosed too (late 60s). It throws a different light on my past life, and makes it easier to understand some of what I have been through and my manner of handling it.

Going forward, I think it will enable me to be kinder to myself. The dx is important to me as I am on my own (my brother lives in Canada) and I am concerned that there will be no-one to speak up for me if I need care in later life.

With social interactions I will be considering carefully which activities, gatherings, and meetings oI will cope with best and giving myself recovery time after. I find activities where conversation is limited suit me hence I swim and I do agility with my dog.

I don't feel it is a matter of coping as much as having better understanding of myself. The dx has not changed who I am. As an analogy, it's like with the tomato plants I muddled up. They will grow and eventually they will fruit and I will be able to label them as the yellow one, the trailing cherry and the normal one. They are still the same plants as before labelling but I will look at them and think how I could have grown them better if I had known which was which (the trailing cherry would be better grown from a suspended planter), and my care in their later stages will be more specific for each plant. So I could have had better care if I had had a label growing up, but now I have one, my care should be more appropriate.

Hi Elyssa

I'm 64 and was diagnosed a few weeks ago. I had been diagnosed with dyslexia a couple of years ago and a colleague had suggested that I also get an assessment for autism. I finally got around to it and now here I am!

A diagnosis of anything simply gives you something to look into, to gain information from that may or may not be useful to you. The most important thing that you can do is to work towards accepting yourself and the only way that this can be achieved is to show kindness to yourself. Hopefully you can practice doing this as you move forward with your life.

Welcome.

I was diagnosed at 60.

I don't think 'coping' once diagnosed is appropriate for me.

The 'coping' was before the diagnosis.

Now I feel much better.

Everything makes sense and has a context.

Welcome. No matter what anyone's age is when they get their diagnosis, it can be a positive thing. 

Being autistic can be challenging, but at the same time there are many good things about being autistic.