Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi
I was diagnosed three weeks ago with Level 1 autism/Asperger’s Syndrome. My son had his diagnosis when he was a teenager and is now aged 30.
I have mixed feelings about it as it answers many questions on the difficulties I have always faced in my social interactions but I also feel hopeless and less inclined to try.
I would love to hear from other women who have had a diagnosis later in their lives and how they are coping.
The waiting list in Wales is up to 2 years. I am 59 years old.
I am waiting for an assessment. It is now obvious that i am autistic/OCD, the penny dropped in January this year. But i am struggling because i dont know myself or how i am meant to be or feel.. Do i stop trying as i am so tired? Do i now go easy on myself because i am autistic? Im lonely but i dont want to be with people. Im irritable.
I want to run away (behaviour that i now recognise several times in my life when i have moved areas, like i need to get away). Now i want to do it again. Sell my flat and live by the sea. I won't be able to buy a property again, but that doesn't matter to me. Its like i dont belong anywhere, i have always felt like this.
I want 3 things in life; to live by the sea, have a bath and a place where my dog can step out into the garden.
Does life get worse as we get older? X
Good evening Tulip.
I'm in my 50's and realised I was autistic last summer. Everything you write above makes perfect sense......accordingly, you do fit in somewhere = here. Welcome.
I don't think life gets worse as you get older, but I have certainly changed quite a bit as I have gotten older. Not all of that (by any means) has anything at all to do with discovering my autistic reality - much of it is simply to do with ageing and wisdom increasing. Don't panic ! All is well.....you might just be realising that you can't be bothered with all the nonsensical ball aux that you have been putting up with for the last 58 years. Personally, I think that is progress !
I love the clarity of your "wants" above. I think that is your wisdom blossoming? Unfortunately, we all do need to "live" in the world that we find ourselves in, so only you can decide whether what you "want" is appropriate for you..........but for what its worth, your "wants" seem wholly reasonable and healthy, so I'd be minded just to pursue them and 'to hell with the rest.'
I note that you haven't been around on these pages for long. I would urge you to stick around. Personally, it has been a MASSIVE blessing to realise that there are other humans who perceive the world more like I do and have challenges and concerns that are nearly as weird and "otherly" as my own. It has been so calming to realise this.
It's not always joy and harmony on these pages, but I would rather be here with my fellow misfits/autists who seem to understand and communicate with me effectively and happily........rather than anywhere else. I genuinely could not have hoped for so many disparate voices to resonate with my own.
Give your dog a big kiss from me. Stay clam, keep thinking, stay sane and hang around for some reassuringly "aligned" thoughts and experiences to share with others. There is a very good chance that we are your tribe, if you want us to be.
See you around.
Kindest regards
Number.
Yay at last people who "get it". Thank you for your reply. I had a cry which was good. I love what you say. To know that these are typical feelings and thoughts. It is a relief to know why i have felt this way. Trying to be like others has been exhausting.
Thank you x
I felt the same when a few people here started to respond to me in a way that I was not used to - ie they seemed to actually know what the bleeding hell I was chatting about. It was SO refreshing after the endless "man-up" "take back control" "knuckle down" "you're just depressed" well-meaning (but vapid and pointless) responses I was used to when I tried to explain what my head was doing.
It is different here. Better.