New and saying hello

Hello Amanda,

Yes definitely, I think it does come with age, it’s so easy to try and fit in with people because you don’t want to feel different or left out. But it’s also very draining putting on a front and trying to be someone you’re not. Example would be, there’s some people I know that always seem to be happy and joking about, and I feel uncomfortable around those sort of people. Because I feel like I’ve got to put on a stupidly happy face, and feel like I’ve got to laugh just because they’re all joking around. I don’t like that feeling, because I prefer to just be me. I’m not saying I can’t have a little joke, but I’m certainly not a comedian like a lot of people seem to think they are. So I decided to just be me. Trouble is, when you suddenly do that, people think you’re being funny or you’ve got the hump. But after a while I’ve found people just accept that’s how you are. And it’s much less draining  Sorry for the rant  I’ve got to admit though, I still put on a front when I meet strangers, but if I’m around them for a while, I tend to be myself. 

I looked into the self referral thing in my area, and it says a possible 3 year waiting list. But maybe your area may be different Amanda. 

Thank you Free to be me, it's really helpful to hear your experience. It sounds like you have been through a really tough time and must have been really strong to come through it. Hope you can find a path that works for you now. I think I would like to try and get a diagnosis too. Think I would have to ask for a referral from a gp in my area though. Let me know how you get on TelNorfolk. Like you, I have reached the point where I no longer want to put on any sort of act. It must come with getting older! You just want to be yourself and stop trying to please other people. I don't have the energy anymore! 

Thanks very much Free to be me. That’s really helpful, I will look them up. Because I have mentioned it to my GP before, but he kind of brushed it off. So if I can just contact the clinic, it might be better. I also overthink things far too much  I’ve always done that. Thanks again 

Hi TelNorfolk as I mentioned for me having an assessment and diagnosis has been a positive experience. I was referred by a clinical psychologist but you can self refer if you don’t want to go to the GP. The clinic in Norfolk is Autism Services Norfolk. I was on a waiting list for 3 yrs but that was when they were in a process of reviewing the service and changing it. When I had my assessment they told me that they have now employed more people and that the waiting list is not so long now. You can find there contact details online. 
I often find taking action is helpful to my mind even if it’s something small, as I overthink everything to an inch of its life   

Hello again Free to be me,

I’ve been reading about diagnosis, is it needed or not. Personally I think I’d rather get a diagnosis like you have. Because it would make me feel a bit better in myself. I would be able to say to myself, and others, that’s the reason why I’ve always been the way I have. Because I’ve gone through periods in the past where I thought I was odd, and felt a little bit of pressure from others, to be or act a certain way. I don’t do that anymore though. I’ve realised I am who I am, and I don’t want to put on an act for others anymore. But I know by listening to people on here, that it certainly won’t be a quick process getting a diagnosis, but I’d like to get the ball rolling. 

Have a good day 

Hi Amanda I was diagnosed in March and will be receiving post diagnosis support which will probably start in the summer. The specialists where I was diagnosed in Norfolk were so lovely and will be signposting me to get support in many ways such as with going forward with what to do for work, as presently I’m not working as I had to close down my own business when I had my breakdown. 
A few people I have spoken to asked me why I needed to get a diagnosis as it was just labelling something I probably already knew. I don’t see it like that at all. I see it as a life map which now has some signposts on with which I can see a clearer way forward and seek support from those who understand Autism as I now understand myself much more. 
It’s great that we are all different though and that one way may not be what another chooses.  

Have a great day too. 

Thank you Amanda  Yes a lot of us are in the same boat. I’m glad I joined here too, it feels good to be able to share and swap stories, without feeling judged. Hope you have a good day too 

Hi Free to be me, TelNorfolk, Sooz and Plectrum. I'm so glad I joined here last night! I hope it is helpful to you too Sooz. 

Free to be me, it's good to hear you found the diagnosis process a positive experience. Can I ask what support you now receive? 

The lockdown definitely is a unique opportunity to take time out from the noise and pressures of the world and have a break from the need to mask. And focus on our strengths and gifts instead of worrying about what we find difficult. 

TelNorfolk, thank you so much for sharing your story too. It's great to hear you found a job that suits you. In the past, I have felt like no one else is having the same struggles as me but I now realise there are many other people out there finding a way to earn a living that works for them.  

Hope you all have a good day.

Amanda 

Hello Sooz,

Seems like quite a few of us have joined here in the last week or so. Hopefully we can all help each other out in some way. Plus it’s good just to have a chat to others about things. Welcome to the group 

Hello Sooz, welcome to the forum!

Hello Amanda,

I completely understand what you’re saying about the work situation. I’ve had jobs over the years that I’ve been so unhappy with, that I left. I always wondered why I didn’t seem to fit in. Example would be, I’ve worked on building sites, also other jobs where there are lots of workers, and I found I didn’t fit in. I felt like an outsider, everyone seemed so much more talkative than me, also they were always doing (banter) which I don’t like, or really understand most of the time. Basically I’ve mainly felt out of place with most of my jobs. And it’s not the job that was the problem, I found it’s the people I worked with. They caused me more anxiety than the job itself. So I too considered some kind of working from home. But about five years ago, I got a job that suits me, and the few people I work with are fine. One of which I get on really well with. It’s great because before I got the job I felt really anxious, and was starting to think I’m going to be someone that goes through lots and lots of jobs. I guess what I’m trying to say to others is, don’t give up. If you’re in a situation at the moment that isn’t suited to yourself? Then be patient, because things can change and get better 

Hi Sooz

Thankyou for your kind message it’s lovely to find a community of shared understanding. 

Hi Amanda Thankyou for sharing your story too. It is very similar to my own in many ways. I have struggled with anxiety my whole life and was also diagnosed with GAD although I now understand from having an Aspergers diagnosis why no therapy, of which I have had a lot of over the years has ever helped me as I was seeing people who weren’t specialised in helping those with Autism. 
I personally have found the diagnosis process a positive experience as I can now receive the right support. 
Also like yourself I am finding this lockdown beneficial. It has taken the pressure off needing to go out and the anxiety and stress that comes with it, 

it’s so important I have found to have space to process emotions as you have discovered too.  Having Autism can make the world a very overwhelming confusing place to be. I have also discovered that it makes us very unique too and incredibly gifted and sensitive in other ways. 

Hi Amanda im new too  your story is very inspiring, and so full of hope and positivity.

Its hard to read what you have been through to get where you are, but im so glad you found love and i hope this community is helpful for us both. 

Sooz

Hi, it was great to just read your message, thanks for writing it. I can completely relate to your experiences. I have just joined having just come to terms with the fact that I have Aspergers. The Covid lockdown and no longer having to do school runs or work meetings has given me the space to finally accept it and read other people's experiences. I am a 38 year old woman and started my own small business after being signed off work from a full-time job with 'Generalised Anxiety Disorder' and depression. It isn't easy but for me is a better option than being an employee in a workplace and having to wear a mask everyday. I work from home alone and can spend hours focused on one topic at a time in silence, which suits me perfectly. 

When I first read about autism and Asperger years ago, I read that autistic people don't have empathy so I didn't think I possibly could be. I often feel like I have too much empathy and get deeply affected by other people's emotions. The TV documentary on Channel 4 a couple of years ago was what first made me realise there has been a lot of misunderstanding about autism from medical professions and I might be high functioning autistic/Aspergers. But being so busy and constantly exhausted, and scared of how people might react to me if they knew, I tried not to think about it (which didn't work...) I had also got so adept at masking/compensating that I lost touch with the real me through spending most of my life working so hard to 'be' what I thought I should be... 

Now that I have some space to process my emotions around it all, I have been wondering if I should try to get a diagnosis on the other side of the Covid crisis, how difficult it is, and whether other people's experiences have been positive or negative. Or should I just continue without one but taking better care of myself along the way? I also think that my mum and sister are on the spectrum (but haven't had a proper conversation with them about it), and my 9 year old daughter may well be too. She is showing lots of the signs and has found school stressful in the past, although last year was much better thanks to a great teacher. 

I am really keen to hear other people's experiences, especially from women getting diagnoses/realising they have autism. Thanks! 

Hi Plectrum Thankyou for your welcome to the forum. Ups and downs I can definitely relate to. It’s nice to find a forum that shares understanding. 

Hello, welcome to the forum! Lots of us here got diagnosed ( or self diagnosed) as adults, with different ups and downs associated with it. Feel free to join in with anything you like.  There are also some "fun" threads as well for those days when we can't do "heavy".

Yes definitely, it’s good to be on here to get advice, or maybe try to give some advice. Or just to have a general chat about stuff  feels good to be able to chat about things without feeling like someone might judge you. Yeah I’m in Norfolk  lovely sunny day here today 

Hi TelNorfolk

Thankyou for your reply and lovely welcome. I’m guessing your user name maybe where you live or come from. I’m a Norfolk gal too. 
I’m looking forward to reading more of the community chat threads as it’s nice to find out the experiences others have had. 

Hello Free to be me,

Welcome to the forum chat  sounds like you’ve had quite a journey so far. But like you say, finding out more about yourself through the diagnosis, sounds like it’s made things make sense more? I think quite a few people can relate to that. Hope you find the community chat helpful