• Replies 222 replies
  • Subscribers 115 subscribers
  • Views 9328 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

jokes

Zo

I was thinking of doing a thread of jokes and humor.

on Thursday  my evening routine went out without any fore warning cause someone who doesnt know my evening routine due to not being with me in the evening and stuff told the person who was going to be with me this evening who doesnt know my routine either and there waa some sort of mis communication

for context

she aparantly told me out of nowhere when i was having my meds but she started going on about something else aswell and I was unable to process everything cause it takes longer than normal for me to process things cause of my learning disability sometimes

but also cause I had a sore throat that kept me up the previous night and my sore throat has been worse today Iv been taking something for it.  I dont tend to cope with them well cause they afect the texsture of food i will eat and im very fussy about texture anyway and so was too distracted by all that.  

she was also talking too fast for me to process the words and sentences  and I thought she was just going over my usual routine and so didnt pay much attention cause I already know it and she aparantly thought I agreed with certain  times that ended up throwing my routine out the window and I was completely unaware of any changes until the last minute

when I t told her what she said didnt make sense cause its not my routine and she didnt take that well when I told her and I found the change odd and it caused lots of upset to my routine

so cause of everything that happened that  evening im even more up for humor and laughter and for that reason and the fact I was thinking about doing a joke and humor thread anyway there is no better time time like the  present to make people laugh 

here are some jokes and humor I have come up with so far 

I make up funny words in my head to use as alternatives to rude words or swear words so thought it would be one cool idea to do with humor 

when I was a child  I mainly copyed my speacial interests rather than my parents and although they have a habit of swearing sometimes I still chose not to copy them and so have never been known to swear  ever since I was little and dont do it even when alone instead I automaticaly come out with all sorts of  funny things as always but  thats just me. I like making up funny words  and my brain automaticaly says funny things instead and so I come up with all sorts of funny things even when im fustraited or iv realised iv made a mistake ir I have an acident so thought funny words would be a good idea cause its a type of humor I could use for the joke thread 

heres one of my favourate funny things I say 

oh flap- referance to birds flapping when startled 

but its the flapping part i find funny and one of my favourate phraises 

next I like different types of humor 

what do you get when  a crab gets into a fight 

an all out brawl 

what do you get when a  teritorial  shore  crab crosses   paths with a  hermit? krabby 

then theres other funny humor and jokes to come up with aswell. although its about wildlife it can be about anything and thought it would be a good idea for a thread 

  • I was about to think the plain right footed slipper could be less common nowadays but iv found it 

  • in reply to Take5

    well im still looking for the plain right footed slipper. cause its indoors I would of gone with a snail haveing a right foot that resembles a slipper but haveing certain characteristics that distinguish it from the other slipper species.  it could be a type of bird if you like or it could be a cross between a snail and a bird and a slipper but I would prefer a wild type and not a hybrid so we,l just go with a bird and a snail that has a foot that  looks like a slipper. or we could go with one whos complete anatomy resembles that of a slipper.  it could the one in the bird family  if you want since your the one that invented the name. 

  • in reply to SpikeyMark

    it is but like I said theres differant types of birds and snails.

    theres right footed slipper species  in the bird family and  right footed slipper species in the snail family aswell

    they all have differant names at the start as usual with species names but the one Iv lost is the plain right footed slipper. 

  • in reply to SpikeyMark

    I love that Blush

    Thank you for sharing.

  • Is the joke now there is a 'real' species of bird called The Right-Footed Slipper? If so, then I tried to use the Co-pilot AI to draw one. It wasn't able to draw what I was imagining because it is more like a slipper with a bird design, but it still made me laugh.

  • in reply to Zo

    Thanks for the humour Zo.

    Thats set me up for the day, gave me a smile and I’m ready for flapping work !! 

  • in reply to Take5

    just sending this for the morning.

     humor:

    theres a right footed slipper in both the bird and snail family.

     so it depends on which one your on about.

    there is  a right footed slipper in the bird  family

    but like  you said  the species iv lost is the plain right footed slipper. 

  • in reply to Take5
    Take5 said:
    right footed slipper

    yes il keep a look out for it. I hadnt seen that  species before until the very first timeI saw it  every time I see it  I keep loosing it 

  • in reply to Zo

    Wow Zo

    Thats funny but glad you found your Christmas slippers. The only slippers I will wear are those cheap hotel white slippers, they are open back and really flat and comfortable. Lots of people used to bring me some back from their holidays. 

    Guess you just need to find the plain right footed slipper now and your back on track so good luck finding that. 

  • in reply to SpikeyMark

    I have plain slippers and Christmas slippers 

    i lost the plain slipper that is designed for the left foot that your meant to wear on the left. so I wore the other plain slipper made for the right foot and put it on my left foot. 

    the Christmas slipper for my left foot was missing just like the plain slipper for the left foot 

    I only had the Christmas slipper designed for the right foot so I wore the Christmas slipper that is meant to be worn on the right foot so it was on the right foot in more ways than one  cause it was designed for the right foot 

    but i didnt have my christmas slipper that is designed for the  left foot so I had to wear my plain slipper on my left foot. 

    i lost the christmas slipper designed for the left foot and the plain slipper designed  for the left foot 

    so I only had the plain slipper designed for the right foot and the christmas slipper designed for the right foot 

    so I had to wear a plain slipper on the left foot and a christmas slipper on the right 

    so I had to wear mis matching slippers and wear one slipper on the wrong foot 

    iv found my christmas slippers today both for the right and left foot 

    but i havnt found the plain slipper designed for the left foot 

    I only got the plain slipper designed for the right foot 

    (hopefuly I dont lose one of the Christmas slippers again otherwise I will have to do it again)

  • in reply to Zo

    I'm so confused as to what happened. At least you have both Christmas slippers now.

  • yesterday morning I had to wear my plain  slipper for my right foot  on my left which was a plain slipper and my christmas slipper which is for the right foot  on the right or rather -correct foot for the christmas slipper on the right foot cause it was for the right foot and not the left for the christmas ones.

    the christmmas slipper for the left foot was missing so I wore a plain sipper on the left foot 

    the plain slipper was on the wrong foot but i only wore it on the wrong foor cause i didnt have the correct plain  slipper for that foot and I didnt have the christmas slipper for my left foot and I didnt have the pair for my left  foot for the plain slippers only the plain slipper for the right foot 

    so I was stuck with a christmas slipper and a plain slipper on both feet with one - the plain slipper on the wrong foot 

    - the other pairs for both slippers were missing 

    today Iv found both my christmas slippers now.  but not the plain slipper that is only designed for the left  foot and isnt designed to be worn on the right 

     the plain slipper designed for the left foot is missing 

    I only have the plain slipper designed for the right foot not the left foot that i had to wear on my left even though it wasnt  meant to be on that foot yesterday  

  • Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type".

    Q: Why should you knock on the refrigerator door before opening it?
    A: In case there is a salad dressing.

    Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta-way.

  • Why do the French eat snails?

    Because they don’t like fast food.

  • in only fools and horses in the episode Hole in one, when rodney and del are talking about solictors, rodney asks del who their solictor, dels says back to him solly atwell, rodeny : solly atwell?  bloody hell, he's more bent that the criminals!.

    i would "modernise" that joke and the new punchline would be: solly atwell?  bloody hell, he's more bent than a bend it like beckham free kick!

  • My limbo bar was stolen, how can someone stoop that low?

  • in reply to Zo

    Zo that’s hilarious 

    I love the unidentified flying ostrich joke but for me the best thing is saying Oh flap and I too have that image of a bird getting startled. 
    Im going to use that instead of cursing. I don’t swear much or in front of people but I do swear a lot to myself, that is a great alternative and might even make me laugh instead of being cross. 

    Thanks for making me smile 

  • first though he let me know that one of our dogs wants to watch a crime documentary.

     and was disapointed like usual that i dont want to watch UFO one

    so while watching a unsolved mystery then he told the UFO unidentified flying osstrich joke