Published on 12, July, 2020
I was thinking of doing a thread of jokes and humor.
on Thursday my evening routine went out without any fore warning cause someone who doesnt know my evening routine due to not being with me in the evening and stuff told the person who was going to be with me this evening who doesnt know my routine either and there waa some sort of mis communication
for context
she aparantly told me out of nowhere when i was having my meds but she started going on about something else aswell and I was unable to process everything cause it takes longer than normal for me to process things cause of my learning disability sometimes
but also cause I had a sore throat that kept me up the previous night and my sore throat has been worse today Iv been taking something for it. I dont tend to cope with them well cause they afect the texsture of food i will eat and im very fussy about texture anyway and so was too distracted by all that.
she was also talking too fast for me to process the words and sentences and I thought she was just going over my usual routine and so didnt pay much attention cause I already know it and she aparantly thought I agreed with certain times that ended up throwing my routine out the window and I was completely unaware of any changes until the last minute
when I t told her what she said didnt make sense cause its not my routine and she didnt take that well when I told her and I found the change odd and it caused lots of upset to my routine
so cause of everything that happened that evening im even more up for humor and laughter and for that reason and the fact I was thinking about doing a joke and humor thread anyway there is no better time time like the present to make people laugh
here are some jokes and humor I have come up with so far
I make up funny words in my head to use as alternatives to rude words or swear words so thought it would be one cool idea to do with humor
when I was a child I mainly copyed my speacial interests rather than my parents and although they have a habit of swearing sometimes I still chose not to copy them and so have never been known to swear ever since I was little and dont do it even when alone instead I automaticaly come out with all sorts of funny things as always but thats just me. I like making up funny words and my brain automaticaly says funny things instead and so I come up with all sorts of funny things even when im fustraited or iv realised iv made a mistake ir I have an acident so thought funny words would be a good idea cause its a type of humor I could use for the joke thread
heres one of my favourate funny things I say
oh flap- referance to birds flapping when startled
but its the flapping part i find funny and one of my favourate phraises
next I like different types of humor
what do you get when a crab gets into a fight
an all out brawl
what do you get when a teritorial shore crab crosses paths with a hermit? krabby
then theres other funny humor and jokes to come up with aswell. although its about wildlife it can be about anything and thought it would be a good idea for a thread
So. A guy walks into a pet store in Seattle in the nineties and he sees three monkeys in cages wth prices varying between 5 and 50, 000$ us. There are small labels in front of the cages.
The first monkey is identified as a C monkey, the second as an ADA monkey & teh third label hasn;t been completed past it's given name...
Our guy asks the pet store owner, "So whats the deal? Why is this a C monkey and why is it 5000 bucks?"
<crap,I'm into the punctuation excercise...>
"He's called a C monkey because he writes in C. Nice tight and recursive, like".
(FOR some reason the seattle pet store owner in this particular telling of the joke, comes from Liverpool)
Our guy then asks the owner why the ADA monkey is so called, and is 20 thousand dollars more.
"well", says the Owner; "That ADA monkey is super smart, can accomplish any programming task using Any Damn Algorythm you can name or think of.."
"Hmm", thinks the owner, who does indeed have some inhouse programming obstacles he could use some help with, (and the H3 Visa people aren't working out so well) "There's just one question I need to ask..." (do you do speech amrks for a characters thinking?)
"So what does this 50,000$ monkey do?
"We don't actually know," says the store owner, "but it says here, he is a "Contractor"..."
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Thank you and goodnight, tip jar is over by the piano...