jokes

My son told me this joke at age 5.

why did the squirrel swim on his back????

To keep his nuts dry

Hey Zo

I love your stories and thanks for sharing them. 

They really cheer me up

so one day It was hot inside but cold outside i was looking out the window the sky was as white as a white blanket and it was quiwt dark so I said its very sunny today isnt it maybe you should sit outside and bathe in the sun 

then i proceeded to say that we need to turn the heating down but alternatively we could just go outside cause its cooler outside than inside even when its hot 

when it was raining if I was stuck out in the rain with family I usied to say well wev had a shower thats the main thing and I dont need a hairwash cause we are wet enough already. 

staff sometimes go out for there breacks. after i had my meds when there was thunder and lightening I said so do you want go outside? 

the other person said no so I said I thought you liked thunder and lightening them they said not when its lightening so I said well ok then 

when autumn arived It got dark earlyer so in the morning I said good afternoon and good evening  and good night

or In the afternoon I used to say good morning

and in the evening good afternoon and in the morning good evening 

i did it on purpose and did it almost every day   

the morning would be the evening if I was still tired but iif im not tired the morning would be called the afternoon amd the afternoon the evening since it gets dark earlyer 

eventualy I got into a habit of doing it every autumn and whatever one i used in spring for spring  or whatever one i used for summer i would use for summer since it gets dark later in summer 

in summer 

I would say good morning in the afternoon since its light for longer and good afternoon in the evening 

and so  eventualy ended up saying the wrong words for the wrong times of day when not doing intentionaly anymore and due to it becoming a habit  without being aware cause of it and  having to correct myself and eventualy get out of the habit and use it in the right order 

objects in picture is X-ier than they appears.

yes I literaly showed no emotion at all in my tone of voice and I was uncertain how to react so you can imagane. cause of that the staff thought I sounded like I wasnt looking forward to it so that is what led her to joke about telling the night staff.  she was still laughing about my dead pan response after i left after the joke 

I often sound dead-pan - I know what you mean 

so another funny story for some reason the night shift support staff in my care home wasnt here all day when they normaly come in at 12 so at almost 4 I went down and asked is she on night shift and they said yes so I said oh after a pause where is she and one of the support staff exsplained it is cause she is doing a night shift tomarow aswell as today 

now to process what is being said there was a very long pause and due to  being very reserved I un  intentionaly sounded dead pan and said ah so the staff said il let her know your looking forward to it and then said just kidding 

It would be great to see a picture one day!

I dont know if that will be possible or not I dont know if your allowed to send a picture of it online since its in a shop but I could draw a picture of the gull in the uniform rather than take a photo of it in the food shop to send online until im certain that it would be ok to share 

just in case 

It would be great to see a picture one day!

thats good.  it is quiet funny. I dont know its worth mentioning though  when I say uniform  the gull  also had a  hat on to match the whole police uniform.  it also had  black sunglasess on aswell. they get lots of gulls looking for food outside the shop. the only differance is those ones  dont have uniforms.  I think the uniform is meant to be security uniform so there like police or security on patrol the signs are normaly on the front of a counter and things like that in the shop. 

Zo I’m laughing at that because it’s funny but I don’t get it. I get the Gull and the wing connection but what does a police uniform have in connection? 

I’m still giggling though 

they really shouldnt leave these things hanging around when im around that I dont know much about but there you go 

the one I acidently used was called W5 and its rinse aid 

and on the bottle it said with 4 times percent power 

and it said it was for 

for crockery- what ever that is.  and galssware cutlery what ever that is

it also said that it aparantly prevents limescale build up and is for a sparkeling filter 

so they will defantly be sparkeling at least 

not sure about the germ thing but clean yes 

Well, at least they will be 99.9% germ free!

today I put the wrong liquid in the washing bowl for my plateI did womder why it didnt bubble 

it was for surfaces and things like that rather than washing up liquid for washing things up

you know heres a funny story I went into a local shop and every week they would have a picture of a gull in police uniform with writing abouve saying wing it 

the triangels aren't drawn to match the angals listed so you're meant to disregards what the triangal 'looks like.'

135 was actually my first awnser I got but I did it differently.

I did 180-60-40-35=45

180-45=135

But that isn’t correct since it looks like a scalene triangle so the angles should all be different but idk

Then my second attempt I did assuming the middle angles were 90 (then I got 125)

the problem is unsolvable. No doubt the writer meant for you to infer the bases of the 2 triangals are paralel but he hasn't used the right notation to indicate that. Hence the bottom left angel of the bottom right triangel can't be infered from the bottom right angel of the bottom left triangal. ... if you do make that asumption its 135.

180-40-60=80 the missing angel in the left triangal.

180-80=100 this would be the bottom left missing angel of the right triangal if we were alowed to assume the basses of the 2 triangals were one continious line.

180-35-100=45 the top angel of the right triangel if we allow our invalid asuption.

180-45=135 = x if we allow the invalid asumption.

I'm not going to say 'right' because I've not done this for so long, but I will say "I agree!!"

(180 - 35 - 90) = 55. Then 180 - 55 = 125. That's how I did it. Is that right?