Old Life

Thanks for comments guys, I can't handle responding to each individual message.

Like your thinking Number, as always. I think riding the wave may be my only option ATM but time will tell. The fact that AI is here and appears to be steadily changing my industry beyond recognition very soon means I'm going to have to flex and move with it. However, age also plays a factor as design is famously VERY ageist and I'm at the golden middle age now where I'm highly skilled and experienced and therefore expensive and should either take a leadership position (no thanks!) or change career. A ridiculous query of the industry!

I have a few clients, one I'm hoping will stay loyal as they have done previously, but again, time will tell.

I've saved up a little so if the worst happens I can survive a couple of months at least so that is my reassurance right now.

Thanks guys

Yea - that's probably often my fault - but often when a "bot" is actually involved - or if not a "bot" a human entity that has trailed evidence of previously trying to goad and bait others into argument.  I know I have had it wrong a few times, but generally not.

But for the sake of ABSOLUTE clarity, I am very certain that no one in this thread is anything other than an autistic human.....it is unmistakeable.

Oh, OK. I wasn't looking for help for myself. Just trying to provide some empathy and an idea. Thanks though. I'm not one for going off-topic too much. I've seen some very serious posts descend into conversations about 'bots 

Yea.....and....your point ?  [Disambiguation = friendly]  Dude, I'm talking to you, not him.  You were diagnosed this year....so my comment is to you, not to him.  Bloo dy autistic folk !  [Disambiguation = funny and self-referring]

He's 4+ years post diagnosis.

Fwiw......I think Mr T (as above here) offers a sound commentary of my feelings regarding "life coaching" at these earliest "blinking into the sunlight" months of the adult post-diagnosis "experience."  I can't imagine that any single person could have aided me at that most up-and-down time.  The good news (from my perspective).....is that things levelled out for me........e   v   e     n       t       u         a          l            l           y.

JT said:

now I'm in a position where I am able to admit my limitations from ASC actually do stop me from doing the work I used to do.

How long were you working "normally" before your diagnosis?

JT said:

I can't travel in public transport, I have to drive, and I can't adhere to a full-time role,

I understand that you were able to do these before with an accompanying level of stress. What has changed to stop you being able to live with these levels of stress again?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying go back to all the stress from before, but if there are elements of it you could tolerate in order to be in a workplace then could you do these? If the work itself was less of a stress on you then would 30% of what you put up with before be acceptable to get you back into work?

JT said:

How do I continue on when my old life no longer fits my new self? I

Is it really a new self or just the old self with added understanding?

My take post diagnosis was that I had been empowered by the knowledge and could change the way I approached my day job in a way that made it easier for me and I was more willing to put a stop to stuff that was previously affecting me.

For example I had a 2,5 hour commute each way to work in London so I used to put on sunglasses, my headphones and sleep on the train on the way to work - that turned what was a stressful commute into a chance to rest away from the demands of people. I left my phone in flight mode too to stop people chasing me for out of hours questions.

in the office I asked for a set location to work at which was approved. You could get other "reasonable adjustments" is you disclose your diagnosis to them. I also had fixed shfts and several days to work from home which made it much easier.

My job had a lot of interaction with staff so there is no way to avoid that but learning to take a few seconds after each interaction to conciously relax helped a lot. Stress management is essential in this sort of situation.

My takeaway from this is that I was the same person post diagnosis as before but could now make my life easier as I had the knowledge and tools at my disposal. Therapy was also a boost and taught me to refine the techniques, work on the traumas and make me better able to take on the world but more on my terms.

There is an element of grieving for the what if's from the old life when you get a diagnosis. I am just over a year on from mine. I thought that would be an end to all my problems as I now had an answer. The reality for me was what the heck do I do. I read books on autism in late diagnosed adults to try and get an understanding of my 'thing'. I thought get a life coach which was basically a waste of my hard earned. It could have been that it was too early for me in my discovery period. I think I am still in that phase.

So over the last year I have tried to learn about myself and look at things through the lens of my autism. I was open with my line managers and foolishly believed that would lead to a happy work life with the adjustments I needed to be my best self at work. I'm now waiting on my union to tell me if I have a case for an ET. I cannot do the field in which I have worked for 30 years according to my managers!

I am now not at a crossroads now but more of standing on the edge of a cliff surrounded in mist where I cannot see my feet. At my back fire is slowly creeping towards me. What do I do? Do I take a step forward into the unknown or stand and try to put out the fire unsuccessfully. Both choices for an autistic are problematic.

What I have learned is that this world is not made for me and I need to find a way to navigate it causing the least damage to myself. 

Aside from autism, as I get older, in the post-Covid era, I realise that the world around us is changing and not for the better - as I approach old age, even as an older gay man with no children myself, I worry for future generations such as the children and grandchildren of my extended family and starting with the actual babies of today - back in my childhood in the 1970’s and my teens in the 1980’s on reflection, we had a much better quality of life in comparison to the children of today, even though our lives were more difficult in some respects, the lives of children today are even more difficult in many more respects despite the cosmetic comforts that they might have - this to me is far more important than my own life as I get older and of how future generations are going to cope with much more difficult issues going forward - I can’t help feeling that if only our parents generation had only listened to our grandparents warnings and put them into practice that we would not be in our current situation and our parents would not have, in their rebellion against our grandparents, fallen under the influence of those with agendas all their own that has had a detrimental effect on our society and our world in general, in the last couple of decades 

Dear JT,

It is tough out there at the moment.  The self employed and under-employed are often the canaries in the coal mine.  The fiscal realities of this country are becoming glaringly (and ever  increasingly) obvious for all people who necessarily have their eyes wide open.

Those who can/will/do work, will find themselves needing to be increasingly flexible in their approach to earning.

Rest assured, it is not just you reaching this realisation that "change is upon us all."

I recommend keeping one's head....do not panic....but keep your eyes open and stay light on your feet.  Do not assume that there is a panacea in a different place nor via a different methodology for ensuring a roof and food is present for you/us all.

If you have useful skills and capabilities, (and can keep yourself sane,) there is every chance that you will be fine.......it's just going to be a harder slog for a while.  Buckle up.

In solidarity,

Number.

I have the same issue. I don't have any solutions yet, sorry.

My story is slightly different in that I went freelance several years ago and have only just been diagnosed this year.

I don't have Crohn's, but IBS was and is always an issue

I can't seem to do the constant networking required.

The psychologist who diagnosed me suggested an autistic friendly life coach, which is probably the route that I will have to take.