Funny words and phrases

I never say Wagamamas either. I call the restaurant chumbawumbas instead. It seems to flow easier I think

star bucks = hard luck's

Neman Markus = needless markup

walmart = small fart

safeways = lameway

dual citizen's ship!

I love it when Michael Scott from the Office says "Cut your nose off to spider face" and "Don't underestimate me, maybe you should start estimating me" "I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious"

Genius!! I'm loving this thread!!!

Oh my god! I'm dying! That's the funniest thing I've heard all day!!!

I think it'd be even better if I'd called it Mrs pissy crud pie!!! ;-)

This was what ChatGPT had to say about Malapropisms lol.

Sure! Here are some funny malapropisms:

"Texas has a lot of electrical votes." (Electoral votes)

"He's the pineapple of politeness." (Pinnacle of politeness)

"Don't put the horse before the cart." (Cart before the horse)

"He had to use a fire distinguisher." (Fire extinguisher)

"It’s a doggy-dog world out there." (Dog-eat-dog world)

"The flood damage was so bad they had to evaporate the city." (Evacuate the city)

"He’s a wolf in cheap clothing." (Wolf in sheep's clothing)

"Michelangelo painted the Sixteenth Chapel." (Sistine Chapel)

"That woman is an escape goat." (Scapegoat)

"He’s got a photographic memory but never developed it." (Photographic memory but never uses it)

These mix-ups often lead to amusing misunderstandings!

I remember another funny one from 'Only Fools & Horses'.

Main - gee - towt

instead of

'Mangetout'

Haha.

Hahaha   

If we are talking angry-sounding Irish accents, the person who always springs to my mind is Ian Paisley. When I was growing up and saw footage of him talking on TV during the 1980s, I remember feeling rather intimidated and scared by the tone of his voice.

Thanks for sharing the image of that badge Roy, which is so very me. Do I have a secret society? Well, all I can say is that if I didn't before, then I clearly do now. I guess I'd done too good a job of keeping it a secret, as I didn't know anything about it... until now. 

Not a funny word but..!

As a non English person I actually do not have one specific pronunciation but will copy whoever it is I am speaking with. Sometimes they will think I'm mocking them If there are people from multiple backgrounds in the conversation, I just keep changing my pronunciation according to who I am answering to, which can be very funny, very chaotic, very confusing. If someone doesn't speak English well I copy their mistakes too. I do it in every language I speak, without realizing it.

When one considers that there are so many words that are pronounced differently to how they are spelt, it's not hard to understand why people whose first language isn't English often struggle, and why people whose first language is English can also struggle. 

Ahhh brilliant!!! This is just what I needed after my brain going on "what's wrong with me" research obsession!!!  I think the way things are spelt causes all sorts of issues.

Meringue to me sounds like Merringoo as someone below mentioned fatigue as fattygoo!!! Ahhhh haaaa haaaa haaaa! Brilliant.

My friend used to say colonel exactly the way it's spelt instead of curnel.

My mums friend calls pouffees poofs which is a tad unfortunate since I'm gay. ;-) heeee heee heee!

I had a slip up when out with my mum ordering dessert. Instead of mississippi mud pie I ordered missuspissy mud pie!!! :-)

Could the last one to leave please turn the light out.

Roy said:

he had asked the chemist for a jar of Climax cream! 

Hilarious (and embarrassing)  

As we are the only people on the forum Roy, I think there must be something we don't know..

I would have got in even deeper water trying to spell it!

I remember listening to Wogan in the mornings, people wrote in with funny anecdotes, a woman asked her husband to get a jar of Cyclax cream while he was out, the husband looked ‘sheepish’ on his return, he had asked the chemist for a jar of Climax cream! 

Miss Pronunciation here.

Years ago I was in a restaurant and one of the waiters was absent.

I asked another waiter whether he was well and I was told that he had a very bad skin disease.

I asked if it was Pissiarosis.

Neither the waiter nor my friend understood.

After saying the word several times to looks of confusion I spelt is out: psoriasis...