Christmas night out

Thanks everyone. Friday night floored me to be honest and I just couldn’t  talk over the weekend but I suppose iit’s been a wake up call for me. Thanks for your thoughtful responses. 

Thanks EuanF

Roy said:

What I find strange is some people you think of as being quiet or sort of normal, add alcohol and they turn into gremlins!

I know... it's like they forget about their usual work selves.

I went to one, when I worked in London, where the bosses' PA got drunk and started telling anyone who'd listen exactly what she thought of the management...

It was sad - at least I thought so. She didn't come back after Christmas. 

Work Christmas parties are like that for me as well. I stopped going to them because rather than making me feel involved and social it just increased my isolation and depression.

Hi Amerantin. I'm sorry to hear you had such a hard time at your works Christmas night. I had a very similar experience at my own work Christmas party just a week ago. It feels so isolating and exhausting doesn't it?

Give yourself credit for trying, for showing up. It takes courage to do that alone. I'd recommend trying to find a volunteer opportunity in your area. Maybe something in a environment you know won't through up as many difficulties? Even if it's a once every couple weeks thing, the interactions with people can help so much.

You are right. You do deserve better. Be kind to yourself and better can come. It is never easy, but It will come. 

Take care. 

I remember my mother telling me about some of her work socials. How colleagues she had perceived as being straight-laced would behave in ways she never would have imagined once the drink was flowing.

I’ve endured some work socials and thankfully am a lone worker now. What I find strange is some people you think of as being quiet or sort of normal, add alcohol and they turn into gremlins! 

Deleted User said:

Just back from my work’s Christmas night out. Feeling very deflated.

Yeah, it's an ordeal, isn't it? All that weird social stuff, different behaviours, because it's an occasion, usually complicated by alcohol... it can be exhausting, it's all too much.

Mine was pretty tough, and it was comparatively low-key! I worried about it for days before and was wiped out after. 

Two things - You did well to go and make it through. You're not alone. 

I envy those people who can come through social occasions unscathed.

Your dads comment is exactly how I felt about work socialising. I remember starting a job and telling someone,” I come here to earn money, not to make friends, if that happens along the way then fine but I don’t seek friendship.”

I was only being honest, I can see it now as doing the work is fine, complicate it with people, it’s then too much.

That must have been exhausting but well done for going mate. The preschool I work at had a Christmas party on Thursday, I couldn't bring myself to go to it, that upset me I didn't even though I know it would have been an awful experience for me.

Life shouldn't be this way but unfortunately it's the nature of autism. I hope you're okay. You do deserve better, we all do. Hang in there.

I feel thankful that I have never had to experience a work's Christmas night out, or even a work's Christmas lunch. I remember my dad (an NT) attending a fair few, more out of a sense of obligation than a genuine desire to go. He often used to say, "I may work with those people, but it doesn't mean I want to socialise with them outside of work!"

Rather than dwelling on how the Christmas night out caused you to feel, maybe focus on the fact that you're home and can now put it behind you. Feel proud of yourself for attending, even if it was a Hellish experience. 

I'm sorry you didn't have a good time at the office Christmas party but know that there are other situations where you can have fun that suits you, they do exist. You deserve to be happy