Christmas night out

Sorry to hijack the thread, but is Auticon a real thing? They just sent me an autoemail about a newsletter and never called back. Their linkedin is empty, and their site is all static pages. It looks like an empty front to me, not a real company

I’ve endured some work socials and thankfully am a lone worker now. What I find strange is some people you think of as being quiet or sort of normal, add alcohol and they turn into gremlins! 

Amerantin (former member) said:

Just back from my work’s Christmas night out. Feeling very deflated.

Yeah, it's an ordeal, isn't it? All that weird social stuff, different behaviours, because it's an occasion, usually complicated by alcohol... it can be exhausting, it's all too much.

Mine was pretty tough, and it was comparatively low-key! I worried about it for days before and was wiped out after. 

Two things - You did well to go and make it through. You're not alone. 

I envy those people who can come through social occasions unscathed.

Your dads comment is exactly how I felt about work socialising. I remember starting a job and telling someone,” I come here to earn money, not to make friends, if that happens along the way then fine but I don’t seek friendship.”

I was only being honest, I can see it now as doing the work is fine, complicate it with people, it’s then too much.

That must have been exhausting but well done for going mate. The preschool I work at had a Christmas party on Thursday, I couldn't bring myself to go to it, that upset me I didn't even though I know it would have been an awful experience for me.

Life shouldn't be this way but unfortunately it's the nature of autism. I hope you're okay. You do deserve better, we all do. Hang in there.

I feel thankful that I have never had to experience a work's Christmas night out, or even a work's Christmas lunch. I remember my dad (an NT) attending a fair few, more out of a sense of obligation than a genuine desire to go. He often used to say, "I may work with those people, but it doesn't mean I want to socialise with them outside of work!"

Rather than dwelling on how the Christmas night out caused you to feel, maybe focus on the fact that you're home and can now put it behind you. Feel proud of yourself for attending, even if it was a Hellish experience. 

I don’t think “LOL” is a very appropriate response to someone who has clearly struggled with social interaction, I fail to see how it is funny in the slightest.

You don’t have to get more lonely as you age. Amerantin (former member) try not to be so hard on yourself. The whole lead up to Christmas is a lot for anyone to deal with, let alone someone who is neurodivergent. It’s also Friday, so I imagine it’s the end of a long work week. On a Friday after a week at work, all I want to do is go home and switch off from everyone and everything. Also work Christmas nights out are just really hard to cope with… it’s a different environment, with people you’re used to seeing in a different environment, there’s often alcohol involved, lights, dancing, lots of noise, conversation, music, food you may not be used to or don’t have any control over. Well done for even going, be proud of yourself for tackling such a big thing. 

Maybe wait for a time that involves less demands on your senses, at a time when you’re well rested, in a familiar place, with less people, and try doing something on a much smaller scale, like go to a coffee shop and grab a drink. You can sit right in the corner, headphones on, get a familiar ‘safe’ drink, take something to keep your hands occupied etc but just take things one step at a time, and don’t be too hard on yourself. :) 

I know this is hard, but you have got to take control of your life. Nobody else can help you, only you. My first day in the dorms of university I was scared to meet people and I thought other people would invite me out if they wanted to talk to me but they didn't, they were scared also, I had to take the opportunity to go out and meet them. Take that first step. Sometimes all it takes is 20 seconds of courage. If you are having a hard time at work then look at disability confident employers or work for Auticon, or KPMG, I am sure they would love to have you with your experience. If you want to meet people then you have got to take that step and do it. Nobody else can.

Here is what I want you to do for me. A challenge. Find one event going on your local area. Look at the NAS website for autism focused groups, or go on facebook and then go to it. You have a cat, so there might be a pet meetup or something you could go to. Go to the local park. Anything, even if it terrifies you, do it. It won't change otherwise. A quote from Doctor Who “Courage isn’t just a matter of not being frightened, you know. It’s being afraid and doing what you have to do anyway.” It will be scary, you might not talk to anyone, that is ok.

Read this book.

www.amazon.co.uk/.../ref=sr_1_1

I'm sorry you didn't have a good time at the office Christmas party but know that there are other situations where you can have fun that suits you, they do exist. You deserve to be happy 

lol it will only get more lonely as you age. I have not seen any of my colleagues in six months since I am working from home, and I flat out refused to attend the Christmas party. Embrace solitude