Published on 12, July, 2020
Sorry for being depressive, it happens around this time every year, my birthday is looming. I’m happy to be left alone, I hate days that are different. The questions have started, “ what are you doing for your birthday?” All I want is to be left alone. I get that people try to be nice, I’m just happy to have a normal day. The hardest part is being taken out for dinner, here’s a menu, panic, everyone else seems to navigate the menu in 20 seconds, I stare at it and the waiter is back before I can even workout what I can’t eat. Sorry just ranting.
Don't be sorry this is understandably a depressing thought. Just remember when looking at that menu there is no rush so you take your time and try to enjoy the meal as best you can. I hope you will have a good birthday Roy.
I'm sorry this is coming up for you. Don't be sorry for finding it depressing, I don't like my birthday because everyone else preplans how I'm going to spend it rather than let me sit in peace in my room. Nowadays people seem to like to break our routine and give us change for our birthdays.
I think these days people want to do "stuff" all the time, even when it isn't an occasion. So something like a bit of cake and a cup of tea used to be enough for most people!
Roy said:I’m going to make it my day.
That sounds like a nice plan Roy
That sounds a great plan for your birthday. Remember it is your day. If other people want to go out for a meal to celebrate your birthday they can, in your absence
Once you move to Cornwall and London is no longer quite as accessible you might regret it if you don't visit those places now.
That’s the worst part, the pitying, the muggles love doing group things and have the adoration of all around them. I had a family member say today, “Why are you so restrictive in anything that’s arranged for you?” The word… arranged? I’m happy with cards, Collin the Caterpillar cake and a cup of Rosy Lee.
I am grateful to do my own thing on my birthday.
I feel thankful that choosing if I want to celebrate my birthday, and how I want to celebrate it has always been my choice. However, what frustrates me is the almost-pitying responses I sometimes receive after I'm asked what I did for my birthday... as though there is an unwritten rule that everyone has to celebrate their birthday by doing something the NT world perceives to be fun.
Whilst I won't deny that I appreciate having birthday cards to open on my birthday, it is, as far as I'm concerned, not much different from any other day.
Bah Humbug!
Don't apologise man, it's understandable that you feel the way you do. I'm the same. For a lot of people they love their birthday and plan how they're going to celebrate - I plan how I'm going to survive and dread the day.
If you're going out you could cook something at home and take that with you so you don't have to worry about eating someone else's cooking. I do this and I've got an autism identity card, though no one has ever judged or questioned it.
I hope no matter what happens you have a great day man and I hope it isn't too overwhelming for you.
# me too.
Roy said:I am someone who hates being pushed in a certain direction, I normally then push harder in the opposite direction
Definitely me!
Your day out sounds great I hope you enjoy it.
Hi, I am someone who hates being pushed in a certain direction, I normally then push harder in the opposite direction. It’s almost as though it’s their day, there is little respect for what I actually want. I do have a new book called,’London, A Guide for Curious Visitors.’ I live quite near to an Underground station, it’s actually Overground and I haven’t been to London since before lockdown, the maternal side of my family were Jews who settled in the East end. My paternal side were Irish who settled in a place called Byker. That’s too far for a day visit. The book shows all the little things that you would normally never notice in London, I think I’m going to take myself off on the day and explore with my book and camera. The food side of things is easy, the shop I’m going to only sells Pie & Mash, no choices! It’s always been on my ‘bucket list’ of things to do. I’m going to make it my day.
Definitely look up the menu before you go and make decisions. I always do this, as it takes some of the uncertainty out. Also most places have photos online of what the inside is like, so I always check for things like that.
Presumably saying to them that you don’t want to go doesn’t work, maybe just make up an excuse to get out of it? Say you’re ill on the day or something?
I'm sorry Roy, that sounds incredibly tough for you. Funny how on your birthday people choose what you have to do and swarm around you. My parents and family did the same with me every year, I hated it, especially as it was at Christmas as well so it was a double whammy.
When the day comes I hope it goes well and the meal isn't too overbearing for you. And happy birthday in advance.
Roy said:my birthday is looming
Looming - I like that Roy, like the ominous anticipation that birthdays bring. Mine's also on the horizon, I only have to fend off a sibling and his large family - to be fair, less him than the others, but still... they want to buy stuff, ideally to... visit!!!
What I'd really like is to hang out with the dog and see nobody at all..
And they would certainly want to 'celebrate' if they did visit.. If I ever have to go out for a meal, it's what Iain suggested, see the menu first, it helps to be prewarned. Otherwise it would be too much, with the rest of the anxiety that would be there. I still don't find it easy to choose, but it gives me more time, which is something.
Roy said:The hardest part is being taken out for dinner, here’s a menu, panic, everyone else seems to navigate the menu in 20 seconds, I stare at it and the waiter is back before I can even workout what I can’t eat.
Once you know where you are going, look the menu up online, make a list of 3 choices in case any of them are not available on the day and problem sorted.
Take the positives while you can. Nobody even remembered my birthday this year.