Published on 12, July, 2020
I was feeling brave the other day so I decided to push the boat and when the postman knocked on the door I answered it. I didn’t want to who does?
It’s a stranger at the door
In seconds my brain had created loads of negative scenariosWhat if the postman is ill and I get ill?What if I he comments on me?What if I faint?What if he starts talking and I have to commit to a conversation?
This and more was going through my head
Before I reached the door I was filled with terrible anxiety, my stomach became swollen and painful, chest hurt, heart racing and I was feeling sweaty like I had a fever
But like a crazy person I answered the door anyway
Guess I was expecting it to go well for some weird reason
it was the postman. he had a parcel and some letters. He asked the name and I said yes
And then he decided to make small talk. Nice weather isn’t it. Looking back now I’m guessing this was a humour statement as it’s clearly not nice weather
at the time I said no and then fearing he was going to say something again and I was really starting to feel ill by now I said bye and closed the door
The look he gave me as the door closed was... I don’t know not a nice look
He probably thought me an arrogant and rude woma jad he seen what took place after he wouldn’t have thought that hope not anyway
Afterwards I fell to pieces. Crying and shaking I was sick twice. And now I’m left feeling totally exhausted and my body is aching all over
My muscles are tense painful headache like someone’s squeezing my head
I went from feeling brave and confident answering the door to feeling overwhelmed by anxiety and feeling a complete failure
Confidence shattered in a heartbeat
Now in bed resting and feeling terrible online I can be so sociable feel happy calm and safe
In person I’m shy and awkward.
Times like this I feel nothing but hate towards myself
This was days ago and I'm still tired and aching. It's like a bomb goes off in me and my body has to heal again after.
I'm going to rest again now I'm super tired right now x
Your post was freed from the spam realm ^^
Hiii Debbie :-)
Thank yoou!
How are you hope you have a lovely day x
Thank you Roy ^^
It's lovely to be back and so good to see you.
Hope your having a fab day so far x
Welcome back
Hi Goosey, glad you are feeling better
(second reply as first has been reported as abuse, (must be more careful with the word glad!)
Glad you are feeling better Goosey.
IKR??
They're should be a goose emoji XD
Hi everyone
I know it's been a while but I wanted to say a big thank you and express how deeply grateful I am for your support here
It means so much and I really do appreciate everything you guys do for me it's overwhelmingly kind and amazing of you! Thank you so much!
I wish my parents understood like you all doοΈ.
It's been a long crazy week but things are finally looking brighter :) my mental health got a bit low but I'm hyped up again now
I've read all your lovely comments - some of them were really funny actually ^^
Thank you so so much to you all you're all amazing. I love this community! :—)
Hi Goosey!
I hope you're doing okay after the traumatic experience you went through. I almost never answer the door, much too stressful for me. You did a great job and I hope you're feeling better now.
I'll get the Community Manager to check in with you just to make sure you're doing all right.
Take care Goosey.
Why isn't there a goose emoji?
Geese louise! That's a goose pun I thought might make you laugh. I hope you're doing better now and will be back soon.
Hope you're ok Goosey
Hello Goosey, I’m sorry to read of this and that you suffered for answering the door.
For what it’s worth, I think you were incredibly brave in what you did and I think you should celebrate the fact that you actually did it. You did not faint. You spoke to the postman.
You’re not alone in this struggle. Answering the door is like answering the phone for me – utterly terrifying. My fiancée does both for me because at this time I’m unable to bring myself to do both and I’m nearly thirty!
The fact that you had a meltdown after is unfortunate but you can be proud of yourself that you accomplished what you set out to do – answering the door. Well done. You ought to be proud of yourself, it’s no easy task to take on but you did it. Good job!
Yours, Oddity.
I hope you're ok young Goosey.
The postman came yesterday and I was not confident enough to answer the door. Instead I went upstairs and listened to my music on loud, it was a good distraction and kept me calm.
How are you doing Goosey ?
Hi Goosey, first of all well done for answering the door, it’s always a daunting task, I’m most probably twice your age and still often hide when there’s a knock at the door. The random pleasantries have thrown me more times than I can remember. I do exactly the same with the, “nice weather.” Brain will just say,” thank you” and I shut the door, I then believe the caller must think me weird. Honestly don’t beat yourself up, it’s brain protecting us, fight or flight? I know which way I always go.
Me too, we're all normal here having to survive and put up with an abnormal world. If only the rest of the world was more like us, it would be a better place.
I feel like I need to retroactively add a kind of disclaimer to this reply because it's not like I've never had a random panic attack, I had a lot of background stress and had a period when sudden loud knocks on the door made me jump out of my skin.But I say the things I said in my reply (@ OP) because mantras that reinforce ability to cope and negate worse case fears have really helped me deal with stuff generaly across the board. TBH I've been on a whole mental health journey before and since joining this forum.
Thank you. That's why I like it here. It's the only place where I can find sane, normal individuals
Debbie's husband may disagree
You made the right choice. Any sane, normal individual will tell you that.