• Replies 17 replies
  • Subscribers 84 subscribers
  • Views 3958 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Because of my oh so autistic brain I had a meltdown because I got in the post

Goosey

I was feeling brave the other day so I  decided to push the boat and when the postman knocked on the door I answered it. I didn’t want to who does?

It’s a stranger at the door

In seconds my brain had created loads of negative scenarios
What if the postman is ill and I get ill?
What if I he comments on me?
What if I faint?
What if he starts talking and I have to commit to a conversation?

This and more was going through my head

Before I reached the door I was filled with terrible anxiety, my
stomach became swollen and painful, chest hurt, heart racing and I was feeling sweaty like I had a fever

But like a crazy person I answered the door anyway

Guess I was expecting it to go well for some weird reason

it was the postman. he had a parcel and some letters. He asked the name and I said yes

And then he decided to make small talk. Nice weather isn’t it. Looking back now I’m guessing this was a humour statement as it’s clearly not nice weather

at the time I said no and then fearing he was going to
say something again and I was really starting to feel ill by now I said bye and closed the door

The look he gave me as the door closed was... I don’t know not a nice look

He probably thought me an arrogant and rude woma jad he seen what took place after he wouldn’t have thought that hope not anyway

Afterwards I fell to pieces. Crying and shaking I was sick twice. And now I’m left feeling totally exhausted and my body is aching all over

My muscles are tense painful headache like someone’s squeezing my head

I went from feeling brave and confident answering the door to feeling overwhelmed by anxiety and feeling a complete failure

Confidence shattered in a heartbeat

Now in bed resting and feeling terrible online I can be so sociable feel happy calm and safe

In person I’m shy and awkward.

Times like this I feel nothing but hate towards myself

This was days ago and I'm still tired and aching. It's like a bomb goes off in me and my body has to heal again after.

I'm going to rest again now I'm super tired right now x

  • in reply to Roy

    Your post was freed from the spam realm ^^

  • in reply to Roy

    Thank you Roy ^^

    It's lovely to be back and so good to see you.

    Hope your having a fab day so far x

  • in reply to Goosey

    Hi Goosey, glad you are feeling better

    (second reply as first has been reported as abuse, (must be more careful with the word glad!)

  • in reply to Goosey

    Glad you are feeling better Goosey.

  • Hi everyone

    I know it's been a while but I wanted to say a big thank you and express how deeply grateful I am for your support here

    It means so much and I really do appreciate everything you guys do for me it's overwhelmingly kind and amazing of you! Thank you so much!

    I wish my parents understood like you all do️.

    It's been a long crazy week but things are finally looking brighter :) my mental health got a bit low but I'm hyped up again now

    I've read all your lovely comments - some of them were really funny actually ^^ 

    Thank you so so much to you all you're all amazing. I love this community! :—) 

  • Hello Goosey, I’m sorry to read of this and that you suffered for answering the door.

    For what it’s worth, I think you were incredibly brave in what you did and I think you should celebrate the fact that you actually did it. You did not faint. You spoke to the postman.

    You’re not alone in this struggle. Answering the door is like answering the phone for me – utterly terrifying. My fiancée does both for me because at this time I’m unable to bring myself to do both and I’m nearly thirty!

    The fact that you had a meltdown after is unfortunate but you can be proud of yourself that you accomplished what you set out to do – answering the door. Well done. You ought to be proud of yourself, it’s no easy task to take on but you did it. Good job!

    Yours, Oddity.

  • I hope you're ok young .

    The postman came yesterday and I was not confident enough to answer the door. Instead I went upstairs and listened to my music on loud, it was a good distraction and kept me calm.

  • Hi Goosey, first of all well done for answering the door, it’s always a daunting task, I’m most probably twice your age and still often hide when there’s a knock at the door. The random pleasantries have thrown me more times than I can remember. I  do exactly the same with the, “nice weather.” Brain will just say,” thank you” and I shut the door, I then believe the caller must think me weird. Honestly don’t beat yourself up, it’s brain protecting us, fight or flight? I know which way I always go. 

  • in reply to Autonomistic

    Me too, we're all normal here having to survive and put up with an abnormal world. If only the rest of the world was more like us, it would be a better place.

    Smiley

  • in reply to Mister

    Thank you. That's why I like it here. It's the only place where I can find sane, normal individuals Grinning

    Debbie's husband may disagree Wink

  • in reply to Autonomistic

    You made the right choice. Any sane, normal individual will tell you that. Innocent

  • in reply to Autonomistic
    Autonomistic said:
    I'm fine with answering if I'm expecting it but anything unexpected and I'm immediately in panic mode.

    I just had an unexpected knock at the door whilst reading this thread. What did I do? I didn't answer Disappointed relieved 

  • I hope you're recovered from the meltdown.

    My anxious brain can create loads of negative scenarios too, especially if it is an unexpected knock at the door. I'm fine with answering if I'm expecting it but anything unexpected and I'm immediately in panic mode. I hate it when the postman asks me to take a parcel for a neighbour, then I have to spend the rest of the day anxiously waiting for another knock on the door and another uncomfortable social interaction when the neighbour comes to collect it.

    Why can't our brains come up with something useful instead of so many reasons to be anxious Rolling eyes For example creative and amusing reasons why you can't stand at the door chatting to the postman and have to rush back to finish that incredibly important task Wink

    Seriously I'm sure he never gave the matter another thought and encounters far worse on his daily rounds. You did very well to answer, so try not to let the experience put you off doing so again.

  • Look at the positives young Goosey. You answered the door, you actually spoke and you lived to tell the tale! Rest up and don't be too hard on yourself. This is a success and you should be proud of yourself for doing it.

  • Sending you lots of love. Take all the time you need. Slight smile