Dating/ Dating Apps

I have the same problem.  I want to enjoy an adult life too, but I can't seem to get started.  I have not had luck with online dating apps when everyone on them is the same.  I hope you are more lucky and that things will get better.

Hello.

am 42 looking to make friends on here i  none and advice  please  

hi amy LR94 how you doing 

hi everone

hello everone am looking for a romance to but scared 

I think you could try them and find out for yourself. I haven’t actually read anything bad about any of the apps. In general, most people are respectful, and anyone that isn’t, block and move on as you would with any other app. I think if someone feels off, go with your gut. 

I should probably have guessed your age from your username! Yes, it is hard when peers move on with their lives. I still struggle with this A LOT in many ways, so you are not alone.

The panicked feeling: I think you have to fight the urge to over-think and just ask yourself "Am I happy right now?" at least in the early stages of a relationship.

Volunteering: I had not heard this before! I volunteer and wasn't asked for references. Maybe it's different where you are, or where you were looking to volunteer. I would look around for somewhere that doesn't require references or explain you haven't worked and ask if a character reference from someone you know might be suitable or even some kind of probationary period instead.

Not going out, not knowing what to say: I used to feel exactly the same, but I met my fiancee in a crazy way (she found my blog) and we don't speak to each other like "other adults" (we think she might be neurodivergent too, but we didn't know that at first). My point is, don't give up hope, it can happen, probably when you least expect it!

I believe there are autistic dating sites out there.

Getting more qualifications sounds positive. You don't sound "clueless and hopeless" at all, it's just hard to find a way forward sometimes.

I think back to my days as a member of dating websites with no fondness whatsoever.  And i FEAR having to return to them in the future. haha

To give you some hope I met my wife on a dating site. The arrival of internet dating in the late 90's massivley changed my life. I was a virgin unil I was about 30, never asked anybody out face to face in my life, never saw the signs. Internet dating back then seemed much more serious. You had to have a PC, no phone apps,  and many people didn't have internet, dial up at that. Modern dating seems so much more throw away and shallow and anybody can do it. Met my wife in 2005 after three serious relationships, we haven't murdered each other yet!

Your main issue is being a girl dudes out number girls considerably on these apps. More to choose from but it can be overwhelming. Also apps like bumble require you to respond to matches prompt or loose them

I have read some reviews about those dating apps and there is a lot of bad reviews of them.

I have tried numerous dating apps such as match.com, plenty of fish, eHarmony, Facebook dating but nothing works or I didn’t have a good experience with them.

plus I am a bit weary at using dating apps (since watching/listening to crime shows & podcasts ) x

I am 28 years old…I know it’s probably still young but when you sometimes see people who you use to go to school with, is having children etc…I don’t know.

What’s annoying is when I do go into relationships I get this panicked feeling…my brain over thinks things and starts thinking “is this the guy I will be spending the rest of my life with???” And I then end up breaking up with them.

As for volunteering, I would love to volunteer but apparently you need references from somewhere you have work (which I’ve never worked) to be able to volunteer now *sighs*

I don’t know how I will spontaneously find someone when o don’t go out, I don’t understand most of what other adults say…so I can’t see myself finding someone tbh *sighs*

Thats why I was thinking dating apps, but to get to the stuff you need to help you find someone you have to spend money *sighs* which is what I don’t have.

I have been trying to push myself to get more qualifications to link to the childcare qualification that I did years ago…but I’m not even sure I will be able to do that.

I am just clueless and hopeless at the moment x

Bumble and Hinge seem to have the best type of people. 

If you really want to find someone, spend some time on these apps. They are mostly free for women and you can still chat and see photos. 

You sound quite young so I don't think you should imagine being a virgin forever at this stage! I thought I would be, but I'm in the process of getting married (aged thirty-nine!).

I had mixed success with dating sites. I did not get many responses or interest in my profile. I did get a couple of dates, but not many. However, two of them turned into relationships that lasted a number of months. I met my fiancee elsewhere, though, so on the whole dating sites were not a great success for me, and I know other people who fared even worse. They are pretty expensive too.

Have you thought of trying to work on finding other ways to go out? Maybe you'll meet someone spontaneously if you do. Volunteering can be a good way of getting out, meeting people and feeling like you're giving something back to the community. I found it good for me to "socialise" in a situation where there's a common task and therefore less need to engage in the dreaded small talk.

I’m not trying to rush into things…I just don’t want to miss out on things.

I am very cautious when it comes to online dating (thanks crime shows/podcasts), and forums are just the same.

I just feel helpless to be honest, and it doesn’t help when my parents said to me yesterday that they don’t think I will have children *sighs* 

I am happy single…but I just feel like I’m missing something in my life or something. And as I mentioned above, I don’t want to die a virgin  x

There's a few free dating sites out there. Do be careful though, it can be dodgy because of certain users. 

But remember there's plenty of time. You should date when you feel you're ready and comfortable to. Rushing in could find you someone unworthy of you.

If you're on other sites and forums then you may meet someone on there?

One of my friends from school was an RPG games fan. She joined a forum, made a friend and then they became more than friends over time, were married 4 years later and in 2019 had their first child.

Love can be found suddenly and unexpectedly. 

community.autism.org.uk/.../273131

Well there are lots of dating site that are more or less functional on the free plan I’d try first if I were you. Okcupid, tinder, bumble etc.