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School Trauma?

Jenny Butterfly

I just revisited Jodie Smitten's excellent site and found this cluster of articles and info on school attendance - often an issue for parents and certainly an issue within my own family over at least 2 generations.  Drilling down into the reasons can be quite emotional too. 

I was thinking at first that it might be more suitable for the Parents and Carers section but then, and especially after the school reports thread, I reconsidered.  Reading through some of this, like thinking about my old school reports, set off quite a bit of reflection on my own schooling, much of which damaged or distorted me and influenced my behaviours for some considerable time.  It's all still very much with me, in fact, like a voice in my head.  I was always able to attend school myself, but I'm thinking now that the cost might have been too great.  It also led to an awful lot of masking, some fairly negative behaviours and consequences for me, plus an almost neverending drive towards perfectionism and getting 10/10, no matter what I had to do to achieve it.  :(  

And yes, although it can be a large "turning circle", I'm on to it now, with more insight, I think.  :) 

If you feel OK to share here, how do you all feel about all of this? 

 www.jodiesmitten.co.uk/school-attendance

  • During my final year of junior school, I began truanting because I just couldn't face the prospect of going to school. This continued until my headteacher was successful in contacting my parents. Whilst it was no secret that I didn't enjoy school, my parents found it impossible to grasp why. The only way I was able to describe it at that age was that I felt homesick.

    At secondary school, there had been further instances of truanting... until my parents received a letter from the education authority about my prolonged period of absence from school. 

  • I attended school, though I sometimes feigned illness to attempt to avoid it. I hated school with a vengeance, and feared it. I did well academically, once my bouts of selective mutism disappeared at seven years old; I cannot imagine how much worse it would have been if I had had significantly less academic ability. I think that the threat of corporal punishment - the strap - particularly traumatised me. As an autistic child with heightened sensory difficulties around touch, being touched by others and having debilitating tactile revulsions, the threat of being hit on the hands with a thick leather strap, wielded by a grown man, appalled  me. I think trauma is not too extreme a word to apply.

  • Thank you for this post. Personally I always attended school but do think looking back there were times I found it difficult. I would try to describe to my parents how I felt when I now know these were times when things were too stressful, but they didn't understand from my descriptions how I felt. Knowing today about autism is a positive thing.

    Now looking at my son's experience I can see how school is not an easy place to be. Behaviour policies appear to be aimed at making everyone conform. There are consequences for not wearing uniform quite right, not seeming to take into account sensory difficulties. Then there are consequences for losing a card to record not conforming or damaging it because of a need to do something to reduce anxiety. So you could end up with a detention for being yourself.  One positive for us amongst the challenges is that the SENCO understands the difficulties and has allowed some concessions to help with sensitivity issues.

  • I definitely had real issues with school. Social overload. Expectations overload. Hiding all my emotions and struggles. Being good to fit in.

    I'd come home, raid the biscuit tin and just watch whatever was on telly until 6pm. I just couldn't function past that.

    I do think there are benefits to school, but that there need to be adjustments to make it a better environment for everyone. The problem is that this costs money that just isn't available.