Published on 12, July, 2020
I just revisited Jodie Smitten's excellent site and found this cluster of articles and info on school attendance - often an issue for parents and certainly an issue within my own family over at least 2 generations. Drilling down into the reasons can be quite emotional too. I was thinking at first that it might be more suitable for the Parents and Carers section but then, and especially after the school reports thread, I reconsidered. Reading through some of this, like thinking about my old school reports, set off quite a bit of reflection on my own schooling, much of which damaged or distorted me and influenced my behaviours for some considerable time. It's all still very much with me, in fact, like a voice in my head. I was always able to attend school myself, but I'm thinking now that the cost might have been too great. It also led to an awful lot of masking, some fairly negative behaviours and consequences for me, plus an almost neverending drive towards perfectionism and getting 10/10, no matter what I had to do to achieve it. :( And yes, although it can be a large "turning circle", I'm on to it now, with more insight, I think. :) If you feel OK to share here, how do you all feel about all of this? www.jodiesmitten.co.uk/school-attendance
Thank you for this post. Personally I always attended school but do think looking back there were times I found it difficult. I would try to describe to my parents how I felt when I now know these were times when things were too stressful, but they didn't understand from my descriptions how I felt. Knowing today about autism is a positive thing.
Now looking at my son's experience I can see how school is not an easy place to be. Behaviour policies appear to be aimed at making everyone conform. There are consequences for not wearing uniform quite right, not seeming to take into account sensory difficulties. Then there are consequences for losing a card to record not conforming or damaging it because of a need to do something to reduce anxiety. So you could end up with a detention for being yourself. One positive for us amongst the challenges is that the SENCO understands the difficulties and has allowed some concessions to help with sensitivity issues.
I think it was very hard to convey those feelings for so many of us and even within our families. Back then I don't think we had the language that would have enabled us to articulate the issues, even if we felt comfortable within the family. So I'd definitely agree that things have improved in that respect. And help with sensitivity issues isn't enough but seems like quite a big deal compared to what we had.