Melanie Sykes have just been diagnosed with autism

Are you basing this on her job? 

Based on stereotypes of autism, I shouldn't be able to do my job either, as my job requires a lot of empathy and people skills. Something Melanie said on Loose Women really resonated with me actually, when she said people are her interest. I've said this many times that people are a fixation for me, especially meeting people (I get bored once I know them well).

If you question her diagnosis then you are questioning a lot of us. My difficulties are often very internalised, nobody ever sees my struggles until I'm approaching meltdown or shutdown. Even that is usually private at home. 

Referring to people as high or low functioning is pretty outdated too these days. Even "high functioning" autistic people have support needs. Just because you cannot relate them to your non-verbal child doesn't mean that they don't exist. 

[Username removed by moderator] I've read your posts, and I'm struggling to follow your line of thought. Firstly, let's try dropping the talk of 'identity politics', 'bubbles' etc. I'll ask for forgiveness in advance, as I'm not trying to be insulting, but it's clear that this is an 'identity politics' issue for you. You're defining yourself very much as 'parent of autistic child' and are arguing from the basis of that identity. You talk about wanting respect for people's beliefs. Again, this is very much an 'identity politics' type of response. I do not respect opinions that I consider harmful, nor should anyone. We should, however, not assume bad intentions in others unless demonstrated. So perhaps we should proceed on that basis. I'm going to assume that you've accurately described your personal circumstances and are motivated by trying to help those close to you.

Firstly, the comparison between autism and cancer is disanalogous. Cancer is a disease that causes death; autism is not. That is not a credible position. I am unfamiliar with any serious agency with any knowledge of the topic that is calling for a cure for autism. This isn't because they've been captured by identity politics. It's because that position is inherently implausible. Putting aside the diagnostic criteria, the best description of autism in practice I've seen is an atypical distribution of skills; people with autism tend to be very good at some things and poor at others. I'm unsure about what a 'cure' for that would even look like.

I wonder whether you're confusing autism with comorbidities. Many of the things you've described don't seem to relate to autism directly. From the literature I've read, people with autism are prone to a range of other conditions, sometimes inherently, and sometimes because of the social response to autism. This is why functioning levels are typically considered unhelpful, and why the DSM-5 removed the old diagnoses; when comorbidities were accounted for, there were no meaningful differences. Naturally, a person with multiple comorbidities may have greater care needs, but that doesn't add any credence to the 'cure autism' position, because they are extraneous to the general position.

I agree with you that the 'politics of representation' are difficult, and advocacy groups struggle to cover a range of views. However, here's another problem. Despite being well intentioned, parents don't always accurately represent the interests or feelings of their children. I've known many circumstances where parents have very strongly advocated for certain positions when their child was unable to speak for themselves, and, years later, the child has disagreed. Just because a person is in distress doesn't mean that they would necessarily wish that their neurotype is different, even if that was possible.

A word on context too. A major problem that autistic people face, which is well represented on these threads, is that people aren't believed when they say they feel a certain way. This can be very harmful. I suspect that this is why your earlier conversations became so heated. Saying that someone isn't autistic because they seem to communicate fine is wrong in fact; the diagnostic criteria talks of 'difficulties in social communication'. Finding something difficult doesn't mean that a person can't do it well. The antonym of 'difficult' is 'ease', not 'skill'. The reaction may have been caused by you using a formulation that many people have heard and has caused them harm. It's not that the robustness of the diagnostic procedure shouldn't be challenged, but it is questionable to do so in that particular way on this forum. People who allege domestic violence do need to be challenged as to whether their accounts are true, but to do so when they are seeking help in a refuge may be insensitive.

May I ask out of interest why it would cross your mind (ie "how can you tell")? Just curious.

I also think that diagnostic criteria are evolving butI know there has to be some sort of "cut off". I scored just above the cut off on my assessment. With some people, it may seem that they have more obvious difficulties but many years ago they might not have even got a diagnosis. So I think things are evolving all the time.

I do think as more people explore information which is available and so start talking about their own experiences,  this goes to redefining what autism means. For example,  when I started reading about autism and aspergers for myself I discounted it in the first instance because I couldn't relate to it. It was about stereotypical male behaviour and from official sources like the nhs. But then as I started reading more (a mixture of first hand experiences and also that of qualified people) it began to make more sense. As I talk about my own experiences this may feed into how other people relate to it too. 

Edit - I think I'm trying to say there may be common shared experiences of people with autism which are not in "official" material but it's only since we have more access to sharing information that these are brought to the open more.

On the other hand, I do wonder sometimes if what people describe can be attributed to autism or if it's something else like personality. And then these things get thrown into the unofficial mix of autism. I would say there's plenty I cannot relate to but a lot i can. 

I have thought about this before going off on so many branches in my head. I don't know if I have explained correctly what I mean and its certainly not a personal attack on anyone autistic or not. 

Oh is THAT what a spiky profile is!!!

If by 'this' you mean what M described as being the 'spiky circle thing':

Then read:

Autism, Personality, and Human Diversity: Defining Neurodiversity in an Iterative Process Using Aspie Quiz

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/2158244013497722

And check out perhaps the following website explaining and for taking the Aspie Quiz:

https://embrace-autism.com/aspie-quiz/

M said:

The spectrum isn't a straight line from mild to severe = not linear. Usually it is demonstrated with a diagram that I don't know the correct term for but a spiky circle thing. 

The same for me and suicide. It would ruin my daughter's life if I died. So I am always trying not to kill myself.

Brill, that's the one! I like how she says we have got to learn each others' language. Her hair looked like a freshly windswept cat! 

She does! That appearance on the talk show was good. it was an Irish chat show, it's on youtube somewhere. 

she has 2 programmes on Netflix 

There's a great comedian called Hannah Gadsby. She is diagnosed autistic. Maybe check her out. One of her interviews on a talk show I seem to remember she discusses how she is fine with being on stage because she is in control. This is also true to a certain extent of myself as a tutor. I know my role. Conversations are on my terms and usually functional. 

I feel compelled to reply and attempt to explain why your comments are causing so much upset - I read this thread last night and was also upset by it and the assumptions being made.  This is not an attack - this is me attempting to address points you have raised.

• 'many of the difficulties you are describing are challenges I can easily relate to, maybe even more so.' - yes, lots of people have problems with different things, what differs is that those are often caused by the autism in people who are autistic and are accompanied with a myriad of other 'symptoms' (I don't like that word in this context) that have been present since a child. By stating this - you are trivialising other people's experiences and it reads like you are saying 'yes you struggle with communication, so do lots of people - it doesn't mean we're all autistic' - no it doesn't, but it is a feature along with other symptoms.
• 'understand how her diagnosis is logically possible’ - and neither should you. You do not know her personally - you know the person she presents on camera. You have no idea what goes on behind the scenes. Many people who are autistic can communicate effectively - this is only one of the 'symptoms' and some people have strengths in some areas, and weaknesses in others.  It does not make them 'more' or 'less' autistic. This is a misunderstanding on your part, and perhaps you need to start seeing this from a wider angle.  For example, once a year I have to present to a room of approx 300 people (yes I am diagnosed - no I did not seek it, I saw a new psychiatrist who immediately said it was blatantly obvious) - in this meeting you wouldn't think I was 'autistic' because I am putting on a show, I can interact, communicate, look at people etc.  But it is absolute hell, and when it's over I tend to be sat on the floor of a hotel room banging my head against the wall because I've kept everything so tightly controlled that I cannot cope anymore, I even tried to kill myself after one of these.  But those people in the meeting do not know that.  I'm not saying this is what happens to others, or Melanie Sykes - but what you see presented for a few minutes, is not necessarily the person.  
  Her diagnosis is possible because she has been assessed by qualified assessors who know what they are doing.
• 'Melanie Sykes does not require anywhere near the level of support that my son does. She may well require support and I hope she get it, along with anyone with autism, but there needs to be perspective.' I do not believe anyone has every said that there should not be perspective. But why does this mean that she should not talk about it? Does this mean that those of us who struggle silently do not have a right to be heard because we do not need constant support?  I don't leave the house other than for occasional work meetings - I don't go shopping, I don't see anyone - maybe I need support? I have to have someone else with me if people come to the house etc.  Where do I fit in this perspective? Do I not deserve anything because I can speak?  It is all about perspective - but by (I'll use the word again) trivialising people's experiences and needs - you are appearing quite rude. I'm sure you do not mean to - but you are.
• 'Does someone who has establised a career, a social life, family life really require as much finding as a child who cannot speak, does not respond to his name, self harms and may never live an independent life, may never get married , may never get a job or ever even have friends? Or should we just accept autism is just a quirk of nature, requiring no support or the same support based on subjective self diagnostic criteria?'
  Autism as a quirk of nature - you may want to rethinking this sentence, referring to something as a 'quirk' when it can cause debilitating problems seems entirely inappropriate.
  I can speak, respond to my name, but I self-harm, I need help to live independently, I'll never get married, but I have a job, and 1 friend.  So where do I fit in your 'require as much funding' - you are again suggesting that only people who have those autistic characteristics requires help.  Yes your sun should have help, but so should many, many others who may have problems as severe as him, or less severe, or more severe in other areas, and not in others.  Why are they not deserving of help?
  I think suggesting the diagnostic criteria as being 'subjective' is dangerous territory - people get a diagnosis through a process which is often challenging and lengthy - by professionals who are qualified to do this.  Full stop.  It is not for someone non-specialised in this area to suggest that the diagnosis processes are inappropriate, or subjective.
• 'But its one thing to say ASD can be subtle/almost an invisible disability, and quite another to have the polar opposite characteristics of ASD, and still say this is autism.' Why? Why can two people who are autistic not be different.  If two people are slightly different, then a third person is slightly different again - and you keep going and you start to get people who are very different from those at the start.  That's like saying, well people who only have stage 1 cancer can't really say they have cancer as it's subtle/invisible disability. 
• I have said I do not understand MS diagnosis.' - it is not for you to understand or not, because you do not know the person. If someone appeared on tv and said they were bipolar - would you say that you don't understand that when you've only seen them for a few minutes on screen?

Sorry I've run out of steam. 

There is also:

The Ritvo Autism Asperger Diagnostic Scale-Revised (RAADS-R): A Scale to Assist the Diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder in Adults: An Internation Validation Study

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3134766/

And:

Thanks again. Very much appreciated :-)

But it raises my original point; how robust is the diagnostic process?

Diagnostic tools ~ a guide for all audiences

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/diagnostic-tools/all-audiences

Preliminary tests for assessment referrals

https://www.autismresearchcentre.com/tests/

But it raises my original point; how robust is the diagnostic process?

Diagnostic tools ~ a guide for all audiences

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/diagnostic-tools/all-audiences

Preliminary tests for assessment referrals

https://www.autismresearchcentre.com/tests/

There is also:

The Ritvo Autism Asperger Diagnostic Scale-Revised (RAADS-R): A Scale to Assist the Diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder in Adults: An Internation Validation Study

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3134766/

And:

Thanks again. Very much appreciated :-)