Published on 12, July, 2020
I have been on the forum for a couple of years and noticed the majority of posters seem to be married or in a relationship .This may be a sweeping statement and may not be true.
What Is baffling is how people ever marry or live with someone with a diagnosis of a spectrum disorder . The discussions I had with my psychotherapist helped me realise why I am single ,
I could not compromise my routine as it helps me through the day .
aye thats word salad lol which is one reason i once suspected schizophrenia, but i dont have halucinations or hearing voices, and autism is apparently very close to schizophrenia anyway.
I don't think you can infer that from the vote, I was married at 27 but am 59 now (and just about to get divorced)
Why is it C that whenever I read one of your posts I understand less at the end of reading it than at the beginning? And the more times I read it, the less I understand than the first time...
so it seems the younger gens get married while around 30 and above never got married as perhaps the support just wasnt there at that time. this data probably shows the difference in generational support. no support older gens, no marriage and probably no social life at all.... younger gens with support, marriage and probably a social life. rather split in the age 30 to 39 gen though. of which when the 16 to 29s get older that will show difference more.
I wouldn't say hide. I think 'masking' is probably an inappropriate term, at least for me. What I do is more in the chameleon or cuttlefish line. I adapt to my surroundings, behaving in a neurotypical way is like being a naturally yellow chameleon in a red room, I shift to a deep orange. I can keep the disguise up for a long time, but it is draining, and after a while I need to be on my own and be yellow to recharge my energy.
Good thinking, Batman!
I think I look pretty decent I've always had feedback on my looks (when I was younger)...
Yes - brains are attractive - but only when we eventually flourish if we're lucky enough to end up in the 'right' career. It could so easily turn to disaster in the wrong life.
I think lots of autistic men are attractive, especially when they talk passionately about their interests. Unfortunately I married a NT man and it is too late for me to find an interesting husband now haha
It's good if you know yourself enough to protect yourself. Do you feel you need to hide in daily life?
There is an Aspergers 'look'. You can see it a mile away when you know what to look for - go to any model train show and all will become clear.
I mean there is an easy way to answer the question about how many people here re actually married
Why would they do that!?
People cross the road when they see me , not just in the covid era either , Noticed this more after my later life burnout breakdown realising that anxiety was probably on their minds when they crossed the road as not everyone in this world hates me , But that is nice for you to have that support network without having conditions slapped all over you.
I spotted myself. I had no idea what, for want of a better phrase, 'less severe presentation' adult autism looked like. Once I had been tipped off, by a roundabout route - my daughter was told that she might be autistic and the therapist also said that I might be (from what she had heard of me), I looked at the traits and found that they described me, and then did a lot of research. I mask very, very well, it is only the sensory issues I have that would be visibly 'odd'. As I avoid my triggers like the plague, any obvious signs of my autism would not occur very often.
I suspect the vast majority on here are single - and it seems to be the older, 'undiagnosed until later life' ones that got further down the line of predictable NT-life before we either burned out or screwed up enough to be spotted.
I've known my wife since we met at senior school - married over 30 years now - we've grown up together - both of us were blank-slates so we have a lifetime of shared experiences.
That's so refreshing to read and gives me a lot of hope for my later life.
In my assessments the psychotherapist showed me a chart of autism (spectrum) , On the left was NT and the right was autistic , ASD sits in the middle so there are different levels of being on the spectrum . For me finding out being on the spectrum has allowed my brain to forgive my mind and start to love my own body
Thanks for sharing this. Sounds like a positive experience. I haven't had the opportunity to join one of these yet. The idea of groups for anything leaves me terrified, to be honest! But I will be more open to this should I get the chance...
I imagine that the less autistic you are, the more likely you are to be in a relationship. The more autistic you are, the more likely you to be single. I've no evidence for this, it's pure speculation based on gut feeling.