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marriage and relationships

Deleted user
over 3 years ago

I have been on the forum for a couple of years and noticed the majority of posters seem to be married or in a relationship .This may be a sweeping statement and may not be true.

What Is baffling is how people ever marry or live with someone with a diagnosis of a spectrum disorder . The discussions I had with my psychotherapist helped me realise why I am single ,

I could not compromise my routine as it helps me through the day . 

Parents
  • over 3 years ago

    It has always puzzled me too, Symon. I'm wondering if there are different levels of autism. The less autistic you are, the more likely you are to be in a relationship. The more autistic you are, the more likely you to be single. As far as I can tell, most neurotypical people I know are in unhappy and/or unfulfilling relationships. Their mean reason for being together is because of financial co-dependancy and/or fear of being alone than because they are in love with each other. 

    I'm always struck, too, by the frequency of forum posts that describe couples that can't communicate about even the most basic interpersonal problems. It seems that they find it easier to talk to strangers on the internet than they do with the people they are living/sleeping with. It's very odd.

    I have a suspicion too, no evidence for it, that most autistic people are single because they are not able to fake their emotions in relationships to the same extent as neurotypicals. 

    I've found this factsheet (link below) by Relate. The data is slightly out of date (I can't find their latest data sheet), but it certainly makes for interesting reading.

    www.relate.org.uk

Reply
  • over 3 years ago

    It has always puzzled me too, Symon. I'm wondering if there are different levels of autism. The less autistic you are, the more likely you are to be in a relationship. The more autistic you are, the more likely you to be single. As far as I can tell, most neurotypical people I know are in unhappy and/or unfulfilling relationships. Their mean reason for being together is because of financial co-dependancy and/or fear of being alone than because they are in love with each other. 

    I'm always struck, too, by the frequency of forum posts that describe couples that can't communicate about even the most basic interpersonal problems. It seems that they find it easier to talk to strangers on the internet than they do with the people they are living/sleeping with. It's very odd.

    I have a suspicion too, no evidence for it, that most autistic people are single because they are not able to fake their emotions in relationships to the same extent as neurotypicals. 

    I've found this factsheet (link below) by Relate. The data is slightly out of date (I can't find their latest data sheet), but it certainly makes for interesting reading.

    www.relate.org.uk

Children
  • over 3 years ago in reply to Deleted user

    In my assessments the psychotherapist showed me a chart of autism (spectrum) , On the left was NT and the right was autistic , ASD sits in the middle so there are different levels of being on the spectrum . For me finding out being on the spectrum has allowed my brain to forgive my mind and start to love my own body