Published on 12, July, 2020
I have been on the forum for a couple of years and noticed the majority of posters seem to be married or in a relationship .This may be a sweeping statement and may not be true.
What Is baffling is how people ever marry or live with someone with a diagnosis of a spectrum disorder . The discussions I had with my psychotherapist helped me realise why I am single ,
I could not compromise my routine as it helps me through the day .
I suspect the vast majority on here are single - and it seems to be the older, 'undiagnosed until later life' ones that got further down the line of predictable NT-life before we either burned out or screwed up enough to be spotted.
I've known my wife since we met at senior school - married over 30 years now - we've grown up together - both of us were blank-slates so we have a lifetime of shared experiences.
I spotted myself. I had no idea what, for want of a better phrase, 'less severe presentation' adult autism looked like. Once I had been tipped off, by a roundabout route - my daughter was told that she might be autistic and the therapist also said that I might be (from what she had heard of me), I looked at the traits and found that they described me, and then did a lot of research. I mask very, very well, it is only the sensory issues I have that would be visibly 'odd'. As I avoid my triggers like the plague, any obvious signs of my autism would not occur very often.
It's good if you know yourself enough to protect yourself. Do you feel you need to hide in daily life?
I wouldn't say hide. I think 'masking' is probably an inappropriate term, at least for me. What I do is more in the chameleon or cuttlefish line. I adapt to my surroundings, behaving in a neurotypical way is like being a naturally yellow chameleon in a red room, I shift to a deep orange. I can keep the disguise up for a long time, but it is draining, and after a while I need to be on my own and be yellow to recharge my energy.