Off work

I absolutely agree. Good luck with the CBT.

Hey Silver,

Thats good that you got someone with AS knowledge. Making alot of sense. I just started CBT again last week and really stressed that I would like someone with AS specific experience but it isn't something they can arrange. You just get to the top og the waiting list and are given whoever is available. The way I see it is that if the NHS are paying someone to help me for an hour a week then it makes sense to give the right help.

I asked for and got a person with knowledge of spectrum for my 'work capability assessment' and he was very understanding. He did not ask any of the inappropriate questions that others have reported. He said he was the only one in the area so the delay may be finding one.

Glad to hear news of your situation, Jon. I had been wondering how you are. 

ATOS - I am not sure exactly what the letters stand for. It is a French mult national. It has a division in the UK called ATOS Healthcare. They have a very bad reputation and very much criticised for its 'management of the Work Capability Assessment on behalf of the Department of Work and Pensions'. The company I work for uses the ATOS as their OH provider. I think they switched to them a few years ago.

My partner is trying to get my manager arrange for me to meet with an ATOS Dr who has Asperger experience and he has agreed...... the reality is that it hasn't happened.... but the ball is in their court......

I am pretty sure that the CO-OP group used ATOS for a while but have now ditched them.

Hi Jon

Im going to request that the company sort out an independent assessment. I will let you know if it happens. Im pretty sure that you can ask your company to refer you to specialist OH doctors; my company has links with one but Im not sure about others.

Im not sure what ATOS is Jon could you let me know what the initials stand for?

I am hoping to see my sons HR manager on Monday so I will let you know how I get on, I may have more of an idea what can be done.

Hi Aspie Mum, thanks for your post. Yes, I will keep you posted, thanks. I think an independent OH assesment is a good idea. If my work is not sorting out one with ATOS ( :-( ) then that is something I could maybe consider. Who would do that?

:-)

Hi Jon

Im glad to hear that the depression is not so bad and I really hope that you continue to improve.

I know you are right that you cant return to work without employer support and believe me, it really is their responsibility to do that. I am a boss myself and I would be ashamed of myself if I acted as your bsses are, you must feel so undervalued! I also know that I have a legal responsibility to ensure that the health, safety and welfare of my staff are uppermost in my mind. I have a duty to make myself aware of any difficulties that staff encounter and support them in any way that I can; after all, I expect them to do a good job for me.

Like you, my sons disability is unseen and his employers are obviously not bothered that they have caused his illness.

The legal aspect of this is that if the company make it so difficult that you cant return and you have done everything that you can to try to educate them on your condition, then there may be a case for case of constructive dismissal, your union should be able to advise you on this or ACAS.

In terms of OH, my sons company wanted him to see their own OH nurse but I have requested an independent assessment just to make sure that things are fair, of course, nothing has materialised.

Yes, please keep me updated, I know that you have a very supportive partner and that is so important, but if you will allow me, I can support at a distance.

Just take care Jon

Hi Aspie Mum,

I am still off work. I have sent info and links to my manager but i don't think he reads them or sees it as hos concern. odd as he is the manager. I have also given him a copy of my diagnostic report (quite private) and I don't think he read that either. He just doesn't get it and maybe doesn't want to. As a 'hidden disability' they think 'he looks OK'. My Union is not very helpful as they don't seem to get it either. I think they would be more helpful if I was physically different so they could just see the 'condition'.

ATOS are my works Occupational Health...... My doctor keeps writting on the Sick notes that OH need to be involved but its just not happening....My manager arranged some 'councelling'......not sure he knew what for and when I spoke to them they aslo said OH needs invovment first.

The things is I just don't think I can do the job without the support of my employer. My confidence is zero and I don't think I could do any job :-(

My depression is not as bad...... Citalopram, not in work, avoiding all stess situations (social), my partner doing the things I can't...... Its not really sustainable though. I am keeping busy and running every morning and then doing a list of 'jobs', then try to wind down in the eve by making some electronic music and a dvd then bed.

Its a constant trying to maintain a level that rises just above 'depression'.

I start some NHS CBT on monday. Not so hopeful but gonna try hard. I think I would benefit more from some Asperger specific support though. It would be money better spent. It doesn't seem to exist though, so I have to have CBT for anxiety and depression which might be useful but it is a bit off the mark.

Good luck with your sons situation. Will post my progress and I would also like to hear how you get on too.

:-)

Hi Jon,

my son had a total breakdown at work about 8 weeks ago and has been off sick since, this is one reason that he finally got his diagnosis.

My sons employers were aware of his difficulties as he was placed by the disability section of the job centre.

There has been several changes at his place of work whichhas led to severe anxiety and stress for my son; he also is picking up another persons work before starting his own as  the person involved leaves everything in a mess which my son feels that he has to put right before starting his own tasks. My sons HR department were aware of his stress and anxiety and actually visited him to listen to his concerns; nothing changed. I even sent the link for this website to his HR manager and directed them to the employer support section so they cant deny they were aware of the problem.

Work is so important to my son that he is now in a vicious circle of wanting to return but he has lost trust and confidence in his employer to support him so he feels that he cant return which has led to severe depression.

I am going to see his HR manager as this is all I can do to support my son as he cant face work at present.

I really dont know where this will end but the goal is for him to return to work with the appropriate support and knowledge of his condition by his employers.

Are your employers aware of your difficulties? If they are, they do have a duty under the DDA to make reasonable adjustments  to enable you to perform your role on a daily basis without causing you to become ill.

Please let me know how you are doing and whether you have managed to return to work, I really wish you well.

Thanks Siver100,

Chest infection gone :-)

Still depressed but now doing a bit more.

Still off work.

It was great to read your post when I was at a real low.

Sorry to hear about the chest infection and worsening depression. Glad you have such a great girlfriend, she apreciates what a nice person you are.

Take care of yourself and keep us posted.

Hi Goatworshipper,

I have been pretty much out of action since my last post with a chest infection and virus. I just havn't been up to much at all. No fight in me at all. Depression is worse and the thought of going back to work now seems impossible. My girlfriend has been ace though and is keeping things on track. If someone does not have an advocate then I really think that leaves you very vulnerable. There is no way I would have been able to keep going through all this without her help.

Hi Jon, I've not been on here much lately so I've just saw this thread.

Did you get any of the problems sorted out? Hope things are a bit better?

Thanks all for your replies,

• @Mike NAS, yes I will maybe ring the helpline tomorrow.
• @Hope, the noise is just a fammily next door who moved in a few months ago. Some of the noise may be 'reasonable' but as the walls are so thin it does require some consideration living here. I hate it and want to move. My partner has spoken to them (I did once but got a bit upset). I just don't relax at home at all now. (their dogs barking now :-( ). I just wear headphones and defenders loads. There is a branch of NAS in the nearby town but I wasn't sure what help they could offer reagrding work.
• @Easy, I really think it will be a good feeling to know I have completed two weeks in work. I know that it will involve me 'pulling myself together'. I am pretty mixed up about how I now feel about work. The meltdown was me getting very stressed, then panic, then a bit loud, then hyperventilating for about 10 minutes. I just can't get my head around going back without knowing I have some support and understanding in work.
• @Silver100, I tried to manage the changes as well as I could but even though I thought I was prepared I obviously wasn't. hopefully my manager is going to involve OH as my doctor recommended. It would benefit the manager too as I don't think he quite gets it. I might be able to speak with a colleague before I go back but that in itself is a worry. I just don't find those situations easy.
• @Hohner, I really want to move house and change jobs. if it wasn't for my partner I really think I would give up (and making electronic music). ;-)

I think your Fear is just the fear of your personal destruction, cognitive self and physical self within the environment. Depression and anxiety, bring this on. You need to surround yourself with soft hearts and caring people. Remind yourself that environmental change does not mean personal destruction of self.  

If they had given you more warning of the changes, and a chance to ask questions about them, so you could prepare yourself, would that have helped?

Could you make a list of the things you find too difficult, for you to discuss with Occupational health or your manager if you think he will listen?

Is there a person at work you could trust so you could just have a chat with before you go back, so you don't feel quite so like you are walking into a lion's den?  I hope you find them more supportive than you think they will be 

I dont know the issues so what I am going to say might be wrong,

But I think you should pull yourself together, put on an act,

go to work and go through the motions, be quiet and functional and dont get involved in any criticism or arguments.

Obviously this is crap but if you can get through a couple of weeks you might find things get better,

Or if they get worse you can say at least I tried and leave with a clear conscience.

Not enough info about your work or the meltdown to give sensible advice but this is my guess.

In what way are your neighbours noisy? I sympathise. Noise can be horrible when you can't control it.

Work should be able to make reasonable adjustments for you.

Is there a local Autism Society that you could contact? CAB might also be of some help.

Hi Jon,

Our Autism Helpline team are available between 10am-4pm Monday-Friday and would be able to speak with you in complete confidentiality about this. They will be able to offer advice on the possibility of going back to work and talk with you about what is making you anxious.

The number is 0808 800 4104. I'm sure others will offer support for you here too.

Best wishes,
Mike NAS