It has been a while since I have been on this site and I thought it was the right time to come on and discuss with other autistic adults and about things. I am 25 years old and live in the Wirral. Recently (last month) my Nanna passed away not from the virus but from other health issues. I miss her so much and her funeral was difficult. I am okay now, but just realising all that is happening with virus etc makes you wonder how short life really is.
I have mentioned on someone’s post that people I use to know in school/college that I remember have moved on with relationships, marriage, kids, houses, jobs etc I understand that I need to get out there to be able to pursue them myself but I am having trouble. I have had now support since my diagnoses in 2017, I live with my parents since I know I won’t be able to cope living on my own. I have no job (been on the six for 4 years+), and I am just getting somewhere with help to start my dream job working with animals. But I feel with this pandemic that I’m not getting anywhere in life.
What I am asking is does anyone have any tips/advice to help me get my life on track? I just want to live a life like everyone else and not be alone, unemployed and unachieved for the rest of my life. I hope I don’t sound too moany or weepy I just need support. Even if it’s just someone to talk to x
Hello, what kind of animal based job are you looking for?
I'm heading off now but I've worked in a few different animal care roles, so I could maybe help a little as their quite varied. I've worked as a vet nurse, in a zoo, in an animal rescue, pet shop - some paid some voluntary. Talk soon
Hello Amy, my name is Scott and I was diagnosed with Level 2 ASD last year. Feel free to ask any questions and read my profile.
I have to say that your life is similar to mine. I also currently live with my parents.
Just a few weeks ago, I was in intensive care in a local hospital with COVID, luckily I am now on the mend.
I too often think about starting relationships that could lead to other things. However, due to my condition, I am afraid of getting into that, due to past experiences of others taking cruel advantage of me.
It took five years from completing my degree, to obtaining a decent job with my local council that is related to my qualification.
Don't worry, everything will work out eventually.
I’m not really sure to be honest. I just would like to help animals in anyway I can, I don’t think I could cope in a Vet (I am dyslexic as well and terrible at maths), I wouldn’t mind working in a zoo but I would need to go to Uni for that (had a terrible experience in an open day for a uni) but I also wouldn’t mind an animal rescue centre or pet shop. I don’t drive yet (revising for theory) but at the moment I am just at square one x
I’m not sure what it means when you say Level 2 ASD as I was just told I have Aspergers/autism.
Don’t get me wrong, but I love living with my parents they help me so much and I feel comfortable in my safe room. Somewhere that feel familiar.
Thank god your ok, I really hope this virus goes soon. I am always at home and only go out when I need too, and if I do go out I always have a mask on etc. I just would like to be able to see if I can try and get out more.
I have had a few relationships in the past and I was always the one ending them because I freak out when 1 week becomes 2 weeks etc. Also I felt the guys I went with didn’t really fit with me after a while. I can admit that I am also scared of getting into a relationship, I would like to have whatever everyone else has but I just can’t get past that feeling.
I am just scared that I am wasting my life and not achieving anything. The only things I have achieved are my GCSE’s, my Hairdressing level 1 qualification and level 2 & 3 Childcare qualifications x
My advice is to not rush things and take your life one day at a time. All the things you want can happen for you but you have to go slow and at a pace you're comfortable with. People with Autism don't cope so well under pressure so go slow.
Maybe write down some of the things you want to do and assess which one would be the simplest to do. Start of small, one goal at a time. If you try to do everything at once you'll crash and burn. If you still struggle then break the goal down into something smaller, so if it's going to the supermarket, break it down and instead of going to the supermarket go to a smaller shop which will be less busy. It really does work and you'll feel proud of yourself for doing it :)
Just remember to be gentle with yourself. Take your time, you're only two years older than me and life isn't so short really. I've achieved a lot in the last few years and I surprised myself at how much I did in that time. There's plenty of time, so take it one day at a time. You're not wasting your life, there's plenty of time.
P.S. I love your picture, Tangled is such a good film.
Thank you for your reply. As you mentioned I don’t like being pressured or rushing things. But I just feel like I am missing out on opportunities, since I don’t go out.
I will however use your idea about writing things down that I would like to do. I am currently revising for my theory as I feel that to do something I love I may need to be able to drive. I am also going to get some support on starting my career with animals from a local women with her own business, so fingers crossed. If you don’t mind me asking, what have you achieved I’m these last few years?
I guess with this whole virus thing that I am thinking about my life more.
And thank you, Tangled is one of my favourite Disney films! x
My life fell down like dominoes following graduation. I had two full time jobs, one in 2004 and the other at 2006-07. I couldn't cope with either job. Mentally, spiritually and emotionally; I hadn't grown up at the time.
Then, once I began taking responsibility for my actions, life improved. The key is acceptance of your abilities and limitations. Not everyone can be good at Maths - I struggled with English at School - but I don't try and compete outside my forte.
I'm sure there are plenty of animal-related roles for you. In fact, there are those crying out for assistance with their dog or cat. Or possibly learn how to work in a Farm - you will be able to learn husbandry.
As long as you are above ground, you have a chance.
AmyLR94 said:What I am asking is does anyone have any tips/advice to help me get my life on track? I just want to live a life like everyone else and not be alone, unemployed and unachieved for the rest of my life. I hope I don’t sound too moany or weepy I just need support. Even if it’s just someone to talk to x
Maybe a mentoring support could help? Person centred and goal oriented mentoring is considered to be the best practice for autism. As you mention some life goals it might just be the right thing for you now. NDSA currently run the 1 to 1 mentoring programme designed by Damian Milton helping to set and progress towards your life goals. It includes employment but not excursively, so check this out.
If you're looking for a low-pressure start, have you considered pet-sitting services?