First post - whether to 'come out' at work

Hi Rowan, I am a member of a union so it was good to read your post. When I have had issues at work, HRs response was, well you think you have Asperger's (I have been waiting for assessment for 3 years now) .... BUT as you have not been formally diagnosed all the legal protections don't apply. So, I am suffering x 2 - firstly via the NHS, and secondly, by the law. My mental health has, and is still suffering from this situation, as I am unable to change it.

.. this is very good information for everyone at work who discovers that they have AS or indeed anything similar .. 

As others have written, it is probably most wise to wait a few months and let your feelings settle.  It is worth looking back on any successes in your employment, and if those were times when the requirements of the job matched the strong points in your profile.  then it is worth looking for pressure points between the requirements of your job or your working environment.

A point to remember - you cannot "Un-Tell" or "Un-Disclose"

Writing here as a Trade Union rep in a personal capacity,

Your diagnosis is first and foremost Your personal business, and it is Your decision whether to disclose or not in the workplace and your decision on How to disclose should you decide it is appropriate.

Your diagnosis is also "Sensitive personal data"  That means it is data for which your employer must take special care to keep confidential and only hold if there is a valid reason to hold that data.

Autism is a Protected Characteristic under The Equality Act.  Your employer Must Not treat you less fairly than other employees.  Your Employer Must make reasonable adjustments to enable you to carry out your duties and so you are not at a disadvantage.

My thoughts are that it is no your co-workers business, and my inclination would not to make any disclosure in that direction.

HR is the part of an organisation which would hold Personal data and Sensitive personal data, and it's role is to advise managers How to manage in ways which comply with the law and a company's procedures and policies.

Your Trade Union exists to look after your interests - a good first step is using the TUC website to find out if a union has a recognition agreement where you work and join, or which unions work for the type of business your company caries out and join.

If you believe it is in your interests to make a disclosure I would counsel making your first step one of preparation by discussion with a union rep you trust or any helpline your union can offer.  That can net you up to date information on your rights, and also a person with whom to look at options in a situation where Nothing is going to go back to your employer.

Reps can sound out things in confidence to prepare the way or gauge how well your employer would respect your diagnosis.  As a rep I can have a confidential testing the water chat with a member of HR on the basis "I have been approached in confidence..." which means as Rep and HR we can go through the companies procedures and the law and work out How to handle things should a person wish to disclose, but without any names or other details which could identify you to HR

If you are a member of a union you have a right to have a representative accompany you in many types of formal meetings with your manager, to advise you, to witness the meting, to call adjournements to enable your to take time to discuss information, to meet with the manager to reach clearer understandings,

Hi .. one of the external symptoms of AS for me was a six month absence from work because of depression. When I got back I felt I was able to spot the early signs of deepening stress and approaching illness in others .. and so talk about it to the individuals involved and also on occasion to senior management. The response from the individuals was that they were fine, thankyou, and from management that getting the job done was more important than the people (ie their health). Within half a year of being back at work there was a round of redundancies. Surprise, surprise, despite an exemplary work performance record .. my name was on the list :-/ 

Thanks so much everyone for all this food for thought. 

has anyone ever, through the process of revelation, championed for equality for others in the workplace? If I’m honest a big part of me is drawn to come out if only to openly combat the regular and systematic discrimination which happens when people think they’re talking about autism out of earshot of someone who would care. 

Hi there I agree with the comments below. I also work in the public sector. I 'came out' to a couple of trusted colleagues, as sometimes it's hard to mask unusual responses to situations. The biggest hurdle is others lack of understanding and laziness about finding out, it's easier to revert to prejudice. I suffered from this in the workplace when a colleague found out and used it against me. In hindsight I wouldn't have told anyone except my manager, and only if I really needed to. Congratulations on your diagnosis and getting to know the real you.

Only 'come out ' if the pros clearly exceed the cons of coming out.

I ended up having to have this discussing with my previous employer after having an outburst in the office and then a complete breakdown after and it wasn’t something i discussed with everyone just my line manager at the times . I found it was helpful but this is definitely depending on the person in particular I do feel I got very lucky the 2 managers I had in my last role were both brilliant and I’m pretty certain they both had experienced ASD close to home which made it easier for them to then see where I was coming from in certain situations.

I am on the path to diagnosis and I have let my new manager know this is the case after keeping it to myself for the first part when I got the job. After we had spoke and he had already seen the way I worked he could also see where I was coming from. For me it’s to help me not get to that point of complete breakdown again that I told him but it’s not something I need the office to know about.

I just need a bit more detail so when he’s saying we need to do x y and z I will then ask extra questions to make sure I know that’s what he means and will ask any kind of questions I have (can seem annoying but I’d much rather that than to have to deal with not getting it right because it either wasn’t clear enough or I didn’t get it) or for meeting new people he has been brilliant and made that initial contact with me so I haven’t had to do it alone and eased me into the situation. So far he’s been great and I’m very glad I let someone know it takes the edge off but I definitely don’t feel the whole office knowing will help when it doesn’t actually make much difference to them.

i think each workplace is different and I’ve been lucky with the people I work with but even so I wouldn’t feel the need to let everyone know just the ones that did need to know:

I found this useful, too, thanks! 

Welcome to the forum :) Firstly I agree with everyone else that it's probably better to wait for things to settle down before making a decision.

I'm also in a public sector organisation, though think my organisation is genuine about its commitment to diversity and inclusion, at least at the highest levels of management. Though I've heard of quite different experiences in different public sector organisations. I likely would be open about it though still waiting for assessment, but I'm already open about being queer at work, so already am used to dealing with ignorant comments.

In terms of cons, I'm not sure I can add to the list you have already. Might be helpful to think of how you might deal with them and if there's any colleagues or HR who would back you up if there were difficulties.

For pros, being able to ask for adjustments,  not feeling the need to mask as much, and having an explanation for my oddities

Welcome! Like others are saying, wait for the euphoria/horror/everything in between to die down. After 2 months I only wanted to tell a handful of people.

I often mention in a subtle way instead 'I'm just wired that way!' 

In the 15 years that I've known that I'm a member of the 'Asperger Club' I have never declared this publicly - and I was in a managerial role also..

I told two friends and more recently my daughter - who herself may be on the spectrum and I wanted to chat about it with her.

There is horrendous prejudice around mental illness - and Aspergers isn't even an illness its a difference. I should say that in my experience sometimes its an absolute gift bordering on a super-power.

I have got along by telling some people that sometimes I get really enthusiastic about things - and other times I've just told people I've not slept so well so may seem more critical than usual.

And I've also spent a lot of time observing and learning some of the social rules which don't come naturally to me ... I think people call this camouflaging..

I suggest one route for you is to keep chatting on here and bounce ideas off the other people on the forum (and I'm really glad to have found it too) and by stages find a way to be comfy with your new knowledge about yourself.

My guess is that you have some super-powers too and you can be sure these are well appreciated - so play to your strengths <3

Big congrats on your diagnosis! I was diagnosed just before Christmas, I found it a relief as it answered so many questions.

You want to take your time and let yourself adjust to life after the diagnosis. It's a lot of change for anyone to take in so take your time. You need to do what's right for you. I work at a nursery, hopefully be back to work soon, and I told the parents I had Aspergers and so many argued I shouldn't be looking after children. It was horrible! Luckily not all the parents were like that and my boss and co workers were so understanding and still are.

I hope no matter what happens you'll find supportive place to work.

TAKE YOUR TIME! I have just started the diagnosis process. I may inform one or two of my closest colleagues, but I wouldn't inform the business officially unless I needed to inform them. Legally, you don't need to unless they need to accommodate you. So think very carefully...

Congratulations on your diagnosis!

Please let it sink in for yourself and get to know exactly what it means to you.     Then think very, very carefully about what you would like for adjustments to your workplace or you'll be a bit premature in telling them.    If you're not clear with them about adjustments on the day your declare, it will just be forgotten so you'll never get the benefit of it..

You pretty much nailed it for problems - and additionally, it's career suicide - you'll never be promoted again and odds are, you'll be carefully  'managed out of the equation' (in HR speak).

These 'disability friendly' banners usually mean they will put up with a couple of tame spazzies in the most menial jobs so they can be applauded for their commitment to diversity - lots of awards, lots of praise - lots of feel-good factor.    Tough luck for those employees.

If you're in management and able to hide in plain sight,I'd be tempted to keep quiet.   Public sector is better than private for a supportive environment - but it's a risk only on your part.

I'd only disclose if you need it as a defence.      It won't stop the attack dogs - they'll get you in the end - but it gives you time to gather evidence and maybe negotiate a good payoff before you're booted.

Good luck - and have a good think about your next move.   

      I'm not too bitter and twisted.