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First post - whether to 'come out' at work

Exhibit A
over 3 years ago

Hello all

very glad to have found this forum which appears to be one of the more active ones. 

My formal diagnosis has just come through after a multi year wait for the assessment. What a time to find our you're Autistic!

Can people help me work out a list of pros and cons for telling my employer that I am autistic? It is a public sector org which is all about diversity and inclusion these days. I am in senior management. In the past I have witnessed lots of autism discrimination. I can't help fearing:

1. judgement of coworkers who think it's playing some kind of special treatment card

2. having to take ignorant comments and not get into loads of conflicts

3. having my capability as a manager and team leader called in to question if I ask for new kinds of support 

Many thanks

Parents
  • over 3 years ago

    I ended up having to have this discussing with my previous employer after having an outburst in the office and then a complete breakdown after and it wasn’t something i discussed with everyone just my line manager at the times . I found it was helpful but this is definitely depending on the person in particular I do feel I got very lucky the 2 managers I had in my last role were both brilliant and I’m pretty certain they both had experienced ASD close to home which made it easier for them to then see where I was coming from in certain situations.

    I am on the path to diagnosis and I have let my new manager know this is the case after keeping it to myself for the first part when I got the job. After we had spoke and he had already seen the way I worked he could also see where I was coming from. For me it’s to help me not get to that point of complete breakdown again that I told him but it’s not something I need the office to know about.

    I just need a bit more detail so when he’s saying we need to do x y and z I will then ask extra questions to make sure I know that’s what he means and will ask any kind of questions I have (can seem annoying but I’d much rather that than to have to deal with not getting it right because it either wasn’t clear enough or I didn’t get it) or for meeting new people he has been brilliant and made that initial contact with me so I haven’t had to do it alone and eased me into the situation. So far he’s been great and I’m very glad I let someone know it takes the edge off but I definitely don’t feel the whole office knowing will help when it doesn’t actually make much difference to them.

    i think each workplace is different and I’ve been lucky with the people I work with but even so I wouldn’t feel the need to let everyone know just the ones that did need to know:

Reply
  • over 3 years ago

    I ended up having to have this discussing with my previous employer after having an outburst in the office and then a complete breakdown after and it wasn’t something i discussed with everyone just my line manager at the times . I found it was helpful but this is definitely depending on the person in particular I do feel I got very lucky the 2 managers I had in my last role were both brilliant and I’m pretty certain they both had experienced ASD close to home which made it easier for them to then see where I was coming from in certain situations.

    I am on the path to diagnosis and I have let my new manager know this is the case after keeping it to myself for the first part when I got the job. After we had spoke and he had already seen the way I worked he could also see where I was coming from. For me it’s to help me not get to that point of complete breakdown again that I told him but it’s not something I need the office to know about.

    I just need a bit more detail so when he’s saying we need to do x y and z I will then ask extra questions to make sure I know that’s what he means and will ask any kind of questions I have (can seem annoying but I’d much rather that than to have to deal with not getting it right because it either wasn’t clear enough or I didn’t get it) or for meeting new people he has been brilliant and made that initial contact with me so I haven’t had to do it alone and eased me into the situation. So far he’s been great and I’m very glad I let someone know it takes the edge off but I definitely don’t feel the whole office knowing will help when it doesn’t actually make much difference to them.

    i think each workplace is different and I’ve been lucky with the people I work with but even so I wouldn’t feel the need to let everyone know just the ones that did need to know:

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