Trick or treating: seriously scared

Well, I'm sure we can all agree that blowing things up is great fun, but to be honest, we know that they'll just rebuild it anyway, so I think we probably need to come up with a better way to move things forward... and after all, look what happened to Guy Fawkes!

Goatworshiper said:

I genuinely love the idea of celebrating someone who had a good go at blowing parliment up.

It's the one tradition I actually follow, for this very reason.

I hate Halloween and Bonfire night because of the people that participate in its actions. I hate the begging aspect, it always the rough scumbags whom do it round my way.

I genuinely love the idea of celebrating someone who had a good go at blowing parliment up. People tend to forget the dissenting aspect of it and actually just conform to the social norms of doing bonfire night, because its the thing to do. 

Thankfully no knocks for Halloween. Turned the music up for Bonfire night and pretended it didnt happen.

I completely agree and sympathise with people resenting the intrusion into the privacy and sanctuary of their homes... and I agree that there is something particularly 'crossing a line' about this whole idea... and particularly the bizarre notion that anti-social and destructive behaviour is somehow appropriate on one night of the year, out of tradition...

BUT...

I grew up in a small rural village, where everybody mostly knew each other by name already, and so trick-and-treat was just like a fun-game of visiting people you mostly knew, in costume for sweets and chocolate... the idea of burning a bin on somebodies doorstep was totally out of that frame-of-reference, and even egging somebodies house... I don't know, I can't imagine ever having done it.

Standard procedure for all involved was to stock-up with a big box of cheap sweets/chocolate, and just give a handful to anybody who came knocking (it was making sure you were very well stocked too, as you got to eat any left-overs yourself, afterwards).

It was very rarely money that was given (which was a disappointment when you got it, as you couldn't then take it home and immediately eat it) and it was more of a silly game, and ritualised fun than anything - I mean, like: why bother wrapping up presents at Christmas/birthdays, really, basically for prolonging the excitement of not knowing what it is and bringing more of a ritual to giving, collecting, unwrapping and so-on.

That's all I wanted to say - Trick & Treat isn't ALWAYS bad.

Just ALMOST all of the time. :)

We weren't bothered by them this year - nor last year - but in the past I've dreaded 3lst October because those knocking would do damage if no one answered, even if the house was in darknes.

Maybe people are more nervous now about letting their children knock on strangers' doors.  If that's the case "Hallelujah!"  

I actually didn't go out in the end (because of an aching ankle), but was fortunately not bothered by any trick or treaters. :)

My strategy didn't quite work this year. Two kids rang my doorbell. One held up a basket and I put the bag of things I'd prepared in it. The other one then lifts his bag and when I said can't you share them, started kicking and screaming. 

Fortunately the parents were nearby but spoke in what sounded like east european. I'm in quite a mixed ethnic street, but they weren't locals I recognised. So are they cashing in?

So I'm left drawing the same conclusion as micki82, why do people still bother with it? Has it got anything to do with tradition? Or just part of the modern begging culture?

And as this sort of intimidation has an adverse effect on the elderly and disabled, maybe it should be outlawed.

I also HATE any unexpected visitors, phone calls, and usually ignore them all.  I am alone, and feel great paranoia when people call, but I have learned to dissapear within my own home.  I keep quiet, and people soon go away.  Going out would solve them coming to your door, although they may just call at which ever door.  If you can, I'd plan a quiet night, and make yourself look possibly out.

I'm also amazed people still bother with trick-or-treat, are these parents not all affraid of who's door they are knocking on these days?  It seems they worry enough about everything else!

Yay, I'll be out Wednesday evening anyway. :)

It's half term this week; so you'll probably get them on Wednesday. I am out on Wednesday; but won't be home that late.

I used to get really wound up in the previous place I lived.

It didn't help that the person I shared with would always answer the door, and always gave out loads of sweets and money to trick or treaters.

On the occassions when he wasn't around I went from being, not scared, but wound up by them, to answering the door but being really surly, saying "No", and just closing the door (which did result in the odd egg being thrown on occasion), and then in the end I just ignored them.

Even if you have the lights on, and it's obvious you're home, if you don't answer they'll just go away.

Of course, you make sure that anyone that might come round and whom you'd want to answer the door to is aware of this, so that they can phone you (or arrange a secret knock/bell ring with them).

Where I live now we didn't get them last year, and there's been none this weekend, so I think I don't have to worry any more.

hi  - if you have blackout blinds then when it gets dark + the blinds are down you should put your light on, go outside + see if any light can be seen through the windows.  If it all looks dark and if you stay at home on the 31st you can safely put your light on because you know no-one will be able to see it.  People will presume there is no-one home and are highly likely to pass your front door without knocking.  If anyone was to knock + got no answer, they would presume no-one was in because your home was in darkness.  Hope this is some help

I armed myself with bags of goodies to hand over quickly to callers - just used to buy multipacs of small chocolate bars and such like and put a selection in each bag. It was giving in to blackmail, but I figured if I could just hand something over quickly the ordeal would be brief.

There used to be a problem with older kids from a nearby estate going round and being aggressive. I had the idea of putting spare coppers in the bag but one year these got hurled back at my windows. More recently its just small kids with their parents, and sometimes no-one calls at all.

There does need to be some regulation, because lots of people feel intimitated by this, beside people on the spectrum, the elderly often on small pensions and other disabled. We have a society that thinks its OK. Perhaps increased awareness of the effect on the elderly and disabled ought to play a part.

Also sometimes they come the day before, or the day after, which is not fair.

But I think it is easier just to have something ready, and hope it needs minimum exchange of pleasantries (or unpleasantries) to get them to go away quickly. Hiding in the house with the lights off is giving in to intimidation.

Thanks for the comments. I live on the ground floor with my own front door. I have my curtains closed most of the time because it is my way of shutting out the outside world, and I have thick black out blinds too. But it would be hard with no light on - the house would be in darkness. I could just stay at my parents on that night, but I feel bad about doing that because I am very independent. Although if it helps with my anxiety, it might be a good idea. I am still thinking about this. I just et very nervous about the possibilities of what could go wrong because you hear of stories in the news

[please do a profile !!!!!!]

I live on my own now because I have recently moved into a flat. I am very worried about the prospect of pesky trick or treaters (complete strangers) knocking on my door on the 31st. Of course I would not answer. I never answer the door to strangers/cold callers. But would they then do a nasty criminal prank? Like throw egg at my flat or set fire to a bin? I am probably just being paranoid. I live in a nice area with no antisocial behaviour record, but I am normally with my parents on the 31st. Thankfully, the last couple of years no-one has called, but some children knocked on the door a few years back demanding cash - 'trick or treat' they call. My Dad gave them money - I personally think this was wrong, it is not charity but glorified begging and would normally not be tolerated - I repeat, it is fine with family and friends, but this was not. I have Aspergers, I hate being disturbed, and I am worried some nutter will cause me grief on the 31st. I don't want some stupid sign on my door, so what can I do?

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Some years ago my local council issued a no trick or treaters card to stick in the window and I use the card every year.  Since then, no-one has ever knocked at my door for trick or treat.

The card was issued in partnership with the local police and fire service.

It may be worth asking your local council/police if they have such a card.

hi Hope - as bananas says, most of us don't like trick or treaters.  Be reassured as you live in a nice area area.  I don't think there are many trick or treaters as there used to be, at least not where we live.  If you have some thick or lined curtains, then make sure they're shut tight so light doesn't show thru.  You don't say whether you live on the ground floor or upstairs + how easy it is to gain access if you're above the ground floor.  I live in a house, we shut our curtains, it's dark anyway, and don't answer the door if anyone shd knock.  It's been several years since anyone knocked.  Bananas suggestion of putting headphones on to listen to music or watch tv is good, as is going out, if you feel like it, including the reminder that if by any chance there are trick or treaters they're gone by 9ish.  Please don't let the one time your dad gave them some money grow so large in your mind that it gets out of proportion. As you say, you wouldn't answer your door.  The odds are that no-one will knock but if they do they'll think no-one is in.  Then they'll go away.  bw   

i'm an adult without autism and I don't like trick or treaters. Not because I worry they will do damage, just that they upset the karma in the house.

i always try and be out , because if you are in you get tense  even if you don't answer the door.

Can you think of anywhere you can go or someone you can visit? Even a late night trip to the supermarket and have your tea in the cafe. They are usually gone by about 9.

If not, just brazen it out - they almost certainly won't do damage. Put your headphones in and get lost in a good film or some music