Learning to Drive - Sensory

I find driving overwhelming too! Especially on the road, since there's so much to pay attention to, like bikes, motorcycles, and people jaywalking. I think turning is especially difficult due to the bicycle lane. And intersections and roundabouts are hard too because you need to plan way ahead on where to turn and pay attention to other cars coming from different places. I've taken driving lessons before, and can drive and park fairly well in a parking lot, but gave up driving after having two road experiences. I just find the whole thing really scary. By the way, I learned an automatic instead of manual. 

Ah, if your driving instructor is lovely then I would put this first - it's a working relationship that really matters, after all, and I still have the voice of a couple of my instructors in my head while I'm driving, years later.  The "instructor in my head" is actually very helpful too!

i'm with Nope on talking to him about the sensory issues though.  Maybe put a little time into thinking up the words beforehand, something about the noises affecting you and how it's taking you some time to get used to the new car.  You never know, he might have a technical explanation for the additional noise that you might find helpful (e.g. it becomes less alarming when you have an explanation in mind).  

This bit is troubling though -  "I kept driving even though I was having a panic attack the other day because I didn't know how to tell him."  I too used to continue driving through all sorts of sensory/emotional responses that were hard to ignore.  Sometimes I had to completely retreat and have a lie down after a lesson because it had all been so intense, something which none of my housemates seemed to understand.  Some of this anxiety-related stuff did eventually come down a bit, but it took a very long time and being honest with the instructor might have helped.  The trouble was that i anticipated an incomprehending response plus, alongside the nerves about driving, felt too nervous to raise such subjects too!   Perhaps if I'd looked a bit more closely at some of my thoughts about this, and the way I tended to anticipate negative reactions, I could have brought some of the anxiety down. 

Overall this makes me think that the sensory issues with driving and communicating with the instructor about this should be placed within a wider context  - as in, where else do you experience this kind of overwhelm, what helps, what hinders, and is there anything within your life generally which might bring to bear?  One thing i did find was that when I learnt more about cognitive therapy, relaxation techniques and breathwork, for example, i was able to use these to good effect in my driving too.         

Although I must confess, on the very odd occasion if they are complete plonkers, or endanger my life, I do see the red mist in a rather irrational manner and will make sure they know they have done wrong.

Nope, you have found driving bliss. You are correct that you have to remain relaxed. Classic music is a big plus, although if I am in a rush there will be some fast beat hard track on. It is also true that there are many muppets out there. Don't expect much skill or consideration from the human race at large. If you do, you will be disappointed. I have don't enough miles now and many in rush hours, that I consider the time stuck in traffic to be an opportunity to relax to some nice music, and I am very forgiving of other's lack of ability or consideration.

I used to get wound up by other people's driving. But now I just think, there will always be d*** drivers so just give them the space to be d*** drivers. I find listening to classical music is really calming. I find other drivers more amusing than irritating now. Like over taking and speeding .... to end up at traffic lights. You don't get to your destination faster by speeding! How is this not obvious? And I always let other drivers in to my lane, or out at junctions, but drivers behind me get so angry. It's one car! It's called being considerate! One car will not make you any later!

I actually think driving is one thing I'm good at. I have to have the windows open even if I have air conditioning and music as loud as I can tollerate.i dont know why but it helps me. People not stking to the rules of the rodd makes me mad though. I'll indicate even if I'm the only human being left on the planet lol

My wife passed her test in an automatic so can only drive and automatic, which means I have always had to select an automatic company car. But, yes, they are much easier to drive and these days drive really well. I wouldn't knock them and most now come with a reasonable DSG type gearbox so in manual / sport mode perform really close to a manual anyway.

This is true.

Well for me, just taking the lessons was in itself stressful. I don't remember saying very much at all. Being stuck in a small space with a complete stranger was such an odd / stressful experience. I remember he talked all the time and I kept thinking 'just stop talking so I can concentrate!" But I didn't say so. You did very well to keep going under a panic attack. I would suggest to mention something of the sensory impact though, if you can, because they might be able to help. 

Thank you for all of your comments. My driving instructor is lovely, and now I have a bit more experience and know the 'rules of driving' (so to speak) a lot better, I'm fairly comfortable with him and I think he's pretty good with me, even if he doesn't understand everything, so I don't really want to change instructor which means presevering with a manual. I haven't explained the sensory thing to him because I don't know how to explain it coherently in a way he'll understand/ won't think I'm really weird. I kept driving even though I was having a panic attack the other day because I didn't know how to tell him. Communication really isn't a strong point for me.

Years ago, UK car tax was based on the diameter of the cylinder bore so British cars had gutless, slow-revving engines which meant only large engines were suitable for automatic gearboxes - little engines had so little power that the 2-speed auto gearboxes of the time would run out of puff at 30 mph.

This meant almost all British cars were manual except the expensive luxury cars where the owner could afford the tax on a large engine where the torque of the engine was grunty and flexible enough to cope with just 2 gears..

Since the 80s with 16V engines and 4, 5 and 6-speed autos, it's been easy to mate a small engine to autoboxes successfully.

I learned in a manual but I prefer autos every time - especially with the terrible stop/start traffic jams of the local roads - they are soooooo much easier to drive.   Manuals are really only 'fun' if it's a high performance car - other than that, they're a PITA..

It might be getting a bit more like the States in that respect.  Unexpectedly, the garage i last took my car into offered me an automatic as a courtesy car for a day or two - first time that's happened.  

Of course, my anxious disposition towards driving means I still look forward to driverless cars one day.  :)

Yes just like to add though that there are so many automatic cars now that I don't think having an automatic only license is that limiting these days

I think it depends.  On your personality, how you feel about driving, your future plans and how central driving is likely to be to these, your chances of passing in a manual (still flabbergasted i did that) plus probably a whole host of other factors.  I would be incredibly nervous driving someone else's car and for me a company car would have to be an automatic. That said, i'd be extremely unlikely to succeed in the sort of role that attracted the use of a company car anyway.  However, if it's something a person strives for then maybe the perseverence would be worth it.   

So, yes, there may be some circumstances in which a person might feel that learning on an automatic imposed limitations later on.  But I know of others who wouldn't have passed on a manual.  Not saying this necessarily applies to the OP but it all needs to be carefully weighed up, I think. 

Don't learn in an automatic and pass your test in an automatic. If you do that you can only ever drive an automatic, which may be a problem later in life such as if you need to drive someone else's car or a company car, etc.

I learnt on a manual but have got to say that, once I started driving on my own I still found it really quite challenging - too much happening at once!  The assumption that i would grow accustomed to it turned out not to be true in my case.  Or leastways any desensitisation process took so long as to be useless in any meaningful way. 

Eventually what made the difference was to switch to an automatic.  For all the additional stress and trouble shifting between gears caused me, I'd say it wasn't worth persisting and I wish i'd learnt on an automatic.  Plus automatics have a bit of forward creep that is very handy on hill starts too.  Some might feel it's a cop out (I sometimes have the feeling we live in a nation of Jeremy Clarksons) but I'd recommend switching to an instructor with an automatic.  Possibly also an instructor who welcomes "nervous drivers".  I honestly wish i'd been more upfront about my problems much earlier on as it would have saved a lot of angsting.      

I'd say it's partly sensory and partly learning a new skill. It's difficult to concentrate when you're still figuring out how to drive the car. Once the actual driving bit becomes automatic (and this takes different times depending on who it is) then it's a bit less stressful because you only have the sensory element. Driving stresses me because there is so much going on, so quickly, but luckily the driving bit is now properly automatic for me. My sister has ADHD and she has really struggled and failed her test 3 times. I think, if you can afford it, just keep going at your own pace and you'll know when you're ready to take a test. The problem with driving is it's always unexpected so you always have to expect that anything can happen, in order to be prepared in case it does (if that makes sense). Also, there are 3 things that still stress me out - driving a different car, driving somewhere new, and driving passengers. I can cope with one of these things but not 2 or all 3 at the same time. 

I know exactly what you are experiencing. 

By some miracle i passed my driving test 4th time.

About the 2nd week of driving on my own I took a bend at a wrong angle and crashed into a front garden wall. Lucky nobody was around to get hurt. I managed to brake before hitting the persons house.

I never drove again.

Probably not the encouragement you were looking for.

I love driving. Yes, I feel everything, there is some serious sensory input and have a lot of sympathy for engines and gearboxes, but at the same time I have learnt how every component works, and what is good and bad for them. I can feel everything, but in my mind that makes me a better driver. I can feel where the limits are, I can feel when things are good or bad.

I think you are just experiencing the usual inexperience issues, but heightened. Once you get better at it you wont need to rev the engine as much. Once you get your own car and get used to it, it wont be as bad, and you will be able to pick a car with less noise. Indeed, if you are just learning, this suggests you are likely young, so will likely be forced to drive something small with a small engine for insurance reasons.

There is an intense sensory input when driving, or riding for me, but I enjoy it. Maybe once you get over the stress of learning and being tested, you might find you can enjoy it? Keep in mind it brings freedom and helps you live life to your rules, so embrace it. Say to yourself, do I want to get somewhere in my environment with my music playing, or do I want to spend exhaustive hours planning journeys on public transport to then have to suffer loads of noise, smells, multiple conversations going on, interactions with other people, etc, etc.

Its worth it. Stick with it and good luck.