Do you ever feel guilty?

• Your parents probably loved hearing all about what you've been up to since you've not seen them for a while. It's hard to ask other people about themselves and its hard to pretend you're interested when you've spaced out (I do this after a while even if i am interested). Next time you could have two questions ready to ask before you talk about what you've been doing. The fact that you realise what is happening is a good thing and you're learning from it. Communication is also really hard for ADHD people like me (I have an adult ASD son) as we don't pick up the cues. We either talk too much or hardly talk at all and we tend to zone out a lot. 

All the time. I try so hard to suppress myself, but once someone begins talking to me I have almost no filter. This becomes a major problem when someone is talking about something I'm interested in; I get very excitable and want to talk on and on and on about this subject. But what I fail to realise until later on is that not everyone is as passionate as I am, which is when I become convinced that I've been annoying that person the whole time. The worst thing is that before I can gather the courage to apologise (apologising makes me nervous because I don't know how people will react), the conversation switches or one of us leaves to go someplace else. I keep telling myself to shut up, but like I said above, once someone begins to talk to me I want to talk for ages, and usually only about myself or else I struggle to maintain the conversation because I don't know what to talk about. It makes me feel selfish.

I'm trying to just accept the fact that this is who I am, and my interests are what help form my personality. I'm beginning to spend a lot of time in social media groups, talking to people who share the same interests as me. Being able to talk incessantly with these people without worrying about being self-absorbed is helping me a lot. 

I too can feel guilt about minor things for hours on end until I do something else that makes me feel guilty. Or I go to sleep.

Good observation. I too am very analytical of all I do and at present always come up with a negative answer. Too self absorbed, not easy to socialise, do things in structured patterns etc. But that is just the way I am and unfortunately once the "cognitive negative distortions" creep in, it can be a downhill spiral. Need to find some "cognitive positive distortions" otherwise known as optimism.

This post ecourages even more self analysis!

I can feel guilt over the smallest things.  I had severe depressions for years and was told by a counsellor that guilt is a huge part of that.  Some of the things I feel guilty about are really quite trivial and are the sorts of things that many people wouldn't bother about.  I feel guilty about having to use a car because of the impact on the environment, and about buying highly-packaged foods because of all the waste.  I was given an Easter egg today.  A cardboard box, then two layers of foil, then a ribbon, then a packet iinside the egg with chocolates.  The packaging weighed more than the contents.

As for my autistic behaviour.  I know I can sometimes say things that upset people because they've taken it the wrong way.  I saw a woman I used to work with the other day.  She looked different and I asked her if she had lost weight.  She thought I was being sarcastic because she had actually put on some weight and was trying to lose it.  I apologised to her, but I felt bad for a long time afterwards.  I still think about it now.  It's all silly really I suppose.

I used to but I gave it up. Feeling guilty is destructive.

Which is why she can say what she likes and never feel any guilt about it.  Accuse someone of being a mother-beater one day, post about how great her life is the next  - with no sense of hurting someone intentionally, which she claims never to do.

Open your eyes, BlueRay-lovers.  Here is a person who doesn't give a single f**k about your feelings - unless you no longer support her, in which case she'll abuse you to the ends of the earth with not a single shred of remorse.

And yes... this does need to be continually brought up.  Otherwise, other people will fall under her spell, be manipulated by the rubbish she speaks, and end up damaged as a result.

Proper malt fuel yay.

I am entitled to my opinion. I choose not to push it in front of others, it may offend someone or cause distress, I therefore look back as to why this all started, I read carefully and base my decision to talk or up vote or down vote on what I make of the complete story, I rarely pick juicy little paragraphs to misrepresent whole passages that if given free open mind will enlighten or have no impact. 

I saw all this gaining momentum.

 I said nothing. 

I watched as each person decided to be part of a group. One individual was singled out. 

I say unfair, many against one.

 If anyone is offended by my comments then they can tell me openly or by pm. That’s fine, I won’t just roll over however, I will take time to see how my words may have caused offence, then give my understanding and mine alone on how I reply.

if a large group comes knocking I would defend myself, if they decided I had to be taught a lesson I would fight until I became as bad as they were in order to defend myself. Equal nasty ness if you like, they hurt me I hurt back, in equal not more hurt.

 It has been a lovely day out today, I didn’t miss the forum once, I popped in hoping to see calm quite peaceful beings working together to help support and show understanding of each other.

 Ah well, take my friend, x()x

I already know of one who regularly has a tantrum and says goodbye, I have lost count how many times and quite frankly it doesn’t bother me what they do. Anyone can change there mind, it’s called free will, free choice. Not mass following, 

Deleted user is only one person. I could go back and check but I do not want to waste good time doing so. 

It does seem rather odd you say unlike others you will leave and not ever come back. 

I wish you well,, whatever you call yourself. I have lost who, keeps changing quickly, suits you Tom. MartianTom, Deleted user,NAS1578,  Martian Tom now gone.

 Maybe it could be shortened?

take my friend see you back soon, if indeed you decide to stay or go. X()x

) ( said:

Not sure anyone would do that?

Then check out your mates BlueRay and RECALCITRANT, aka Elephant In The Room, aka Ellie.  Both said it yesterday.  Both still here.  Proof is all there on the infamous 'wheedle out the troll' thread.

Those who down-voted this are actually supporting the making of such an odious and inhuman comment.

Well done, Lonewarrior and RECALCITRANT aka Elephant In The Room.

Breathtaking hypocrisy, and behaviour worthy of an NT.  Support someone who supports selective gassing and makes jokes about the death of a parent.  Read the disgusting outpourings of this person one day, 'like' her posts about how wonderful it is to be me the next.

Lonewarrior said:

Fires only burn when given the elements to sustain them. Some roar stronger the more fuel given.

In other words... just roll over and play dead.  Ignore the troll.  In fact, continue to support her.  Don't condemn her.  Just let it go.  Instead, blame those who highlight her duplicity, her vile behaviour and manipulations, her obvious troll nature.

Off to a much better planet now.  The whisky is excellent rocket fuel.

Trainspotter said:

Guilt can be a very constructive thing in the right circumstances.

When balanced, it's like a compass.

Guilt can be a very constructive thing in the right circumstances.

it can help one think about what has caused a problem and things that can be done to make amends.  Having no guilt at all can be the sign of a psychopath.

having a guilty feeling about your parents is totally rational.  You are relecting on what you consider you should have done in order to try not to do the same thing again. And that is the way to go forward. It may sound ibvious, but what you may be showing is an autistic trait, in getting overwhelmed by a situation, perhaps not in a serious way, and there is too much information. And to do something else would be a form of masking.

You could think about things to ask them first and then ask them early in the conversation. It might need a bit of rehearsal and forgetting things but behaviour like this can be learned. Don't forget that you r parents know what you are like, this is n't a new thing to them. They did bring you up.

Just don't get obsessive about the guilt for too long. Reflect, think about a solution and try to apply the solution.

i say and do silly things and feel guilty. I will even admit to things I havent done and feel guilty for this. But a period of reflection the feeling goes away after a few days.

Erm,?

”I won't be continuing to say I'm leaving, then come back like certain people -”

ok Not sure anyone would do that?

I suppose it must happen a few times, but that’s life, what I may say or be told can effect me enough to want me to run away, then realise there is so much more to being here than just a few I don’t always see eye to eye with.

I have felt like running away. Life has bruised me a great deal lately and still is ,,ouch, 

but I know there are so many who behind the scenes truly care for me, that keeps me coming here, 

• without all of them I shudder to think what I would have done. 

It's okay.  This very definitely is my last comment on this forum.

I won't be continuing to say I'm leaving, then come back like certain people - as if nothing whatsoever has happened. 

Better by far to let people who are helpful to others continue their good work.

That is your right to do so if you wish.

i defend your right .

You add she clearly needs help.

That is your view and I do not think it helps by you saying so in front of everyone, what are your credentials to arrive at that suggestion. 

I could say a lot about various people. I choose to keep it to myself rather than cause others to see my words and judge others by them.

 Take care . It’s  a lovely day out and good for a cycle or swim. 

1. Fires only burn when given the elements to sustain them. Some roar stronger the more fuel given.

Please Tom. 

I have had nothing to say about all that ok.

feelings were hurt, things said, 

must it continue until all threads are locked?

Do as you wish, it is your right as it is for everyone, 

take care and the name change is fine, again your choice, usually it changes to deleted user each and every time you have done so. 

Incidentally... following all the abuse, you'll notice I had the grace to wish BlueRay well in her 'I'm so happy' thread.  It wasn't ironic, either.  She clearly needs some help.

I'm not.  I deleted my name... and it came up with a number instead.  It's available to see on all the threads I'm on.  I'll reinsert my  name if you prefer.

I just find the hypocrisy  of it all astonishing.  How this person has sucked you all in... and can then have the gall to not only not apologise for foul abuse, but to also say they'd never intentionally hurt someone.

This is a person, let's not forget, who openly stated (unintentionally?) that she wishes  Hitler was still alive so that some of us could be gassed.  She also made libelous and defamatory accusations.

Do you defend that?  Or her right to say it, and not apologise for it? Or even feel the need to? 

NAS 15758 is indeed the former Martian Tom. 

Clearly visible in earlier posts as your user name changed on them all.

was this a sick joke to lead BlueRay into a trap ?

you are hiding your identity tut tut.