Published on 12, July, 2020
Do you ever feel guilty because of your behaviour due to your autism? I'm not really thinking extreme behaviour, more the little things.
I'm asking this because the other day I saw my parents for the first time in a while. I spent the whole time I saw them waffling on about myself and things I wanted to talk about. Afterwards I realised that it hadn't occurred to me to ask them how they were or what they'd been doing. I felt a bit bad when I realised this. I don't want them to think I don't care. I feel quite selfish when this happens but its not because I don't care about them and their lives. It just never occurred to me to ask and I find conversations about other people hard to keep going.
Do other people have situations like this and then feel guilty?
I can feel guilt over the smallest things. I had severe depressions for years and was told by a counsellor that guilt is a huge part of that. Some of the things I feel guilty about are really quite trivial and are the sorts of things that many people wouldn't bother about. I feel guilty about having to use a car because of the impact on the environment, and about buying highly-packaged foods because of all the waste. I was given an Easter egg today. A cardboard box, then two layers of foil, then a ribbon, then a packet iinside the egg with chocolates. The packaging weighed more than the contents.
As for my autistic behaviour. I know I can sometimes say things that upset people because they've taken it the wrong way. I saw a woman I used to work with the other day. She looked different and I asked her if she had lost weight. She thought I was being sarcastic because she had actually put on some weight and was trying to lose it. I apologised to her, but I felt bad for a long time afterwards. I still think about it now. It's all silly really I suppose.
I too can feel guilt about minor things for hours on end until I do something else that makes me feel guilty. Or I go to sleep.
Good observation. I too am very analytical of all I do and at present always come up with a negative answer. Too self absorbed, not easy to socialise, do things in structured patterns etc. But that is just the way I am and unfortunately once the "cognitive negative distortions" creep in, it can be a downhill spiral. Need to find some "cognitive positive distortions" otherwise known as optimism.
This post ecourages even more self analysis!