I am a female with autism. Something that I have felt most of my life is that I feel more masculine than feminine in my inner self however outwardly I definitely look feminine such as makeup and I do my hair etc but inwardly I feel and see myself as more of a male. Has anyone experienced this?
I think quite a lot of AS females are more on the "tom-boyish" side than normal. How do you feel about those feelings? How do you think they might impact the sorts of things you like to do?
As self-diagnosed with AS i can relate to this
When i have asked a few people for their opinion i have been told by one that im not a tomboy as i dont wear sports clothes (i didnt think it was just sports clothes tomboys wore?) I have also been told by another that i do appear feminine. Inside i dont feel this.
My female counterparts are unconventional but i still feel they can *do* feminine. I can *do* girlie to some exrent (ie put on a dress and nice shoes for a wedding) but its not really me. I think theres a difference between feminine and girlie. One is inbuilt the other is for show.
I do wear makeup for work. Only a bit to freshen up my face. Im more than happy to not wear it. My make up routine is the same for work as it is for special occasions. And im not kidding when i say it takes me less than 2 minutes to apply it. My style is jumpers, jeans and a pair of clarks originals. I love the look of clarks as they are quite boyish. If im going out its a sparkly jumper and black jeans. I do have my own style and i think its quite cool. Im lucky to have thick wavy hair which requires little attention. I get the "wash and wear" aspect of spme females with AS but no-one wpuld ever know. I can go for weeks not shaving my legs. I walked past a wedding dress shop yesterday and saw some dresses in the window. I actually went "URGH" to myself.
My style and habits are not from some feminine stance as would be with some of my friends. Just things are either not on my radar or i dont feel they are necessary or comfortable.
Amended- i mean feminist stance not feminine stance
I'm definitely not very feminine. Inside or out. I'm not sure I'd say I feel particularly masculine either though. I don't think about gender too much like that. I'm female and I wouldn't identify any other way. My way of being is more to do with comfort and interests.
I can relate to some of your points, people say that I am feminine but inside I don't feel like it.
I do wear sports clothes but that is because I am a power lifter and I am training 4 times a week. When I am not training I wear hoodies trainers which are mens trainers and jeans. I use mens deodorant and shower gel, I do wear mens aftershave sometimes. But I can't cope with body hair and I shave everyday and have done since puberty as I hate the feel.
When I wear a dress I feel wrong and like I am in alien clothing and hate it. I do wear a bit of makeup tinted moisturiser and bronzer because I like tanned skin. I do my nails but again that's because I have to have all my nails looking the same. I do my hair everyday because I can't have one hair out of place, I have been like this since a child I used to get really upset if my hair was slightly out of place drove my mom mad.
But when I think in my head the inner voice is deep like a male voice.
I have two extremes of interests I am very creative so I am often creating anything from furniture to creating different hairstyles for my daughter. I also like research and as I said I am a power lifter.
Binary i think you are right in some respects there. I too dont feel particularly masculine either. I think my identity comes from just being me. I think being fenale and being feminine are different things.
NAS50499 so you are saying how you dress and your style is more of a practical and comfort thing rather than fashion?
Does anyone on this thread do anything to attract the opposite (or same?) sex by appearance? My friends used to take the mickey out of me a bit in my younger years by how i dressed on a night out. Quite plain by their standards. But i was firmly of the belief that someone would like me for who i was and the music i liked rather than wearing a low cut top. I thought i could attract boys by dressing a bit like liam gallagher. To show i too liked oasis. (Oh how i loved my parka and duffle coat) I was oblivious to the fact most of the boys just wanted a pretty girl and was puzzled when theyd pick thr pretty blonde one in our group.
I know this is more naiveity than a female thing but I dont think i noticed the male gaze till i was about 24.
No i have never changed my appearance for the opposite sex. If someone is going to like me they can like me for me. I won't dress in a way that is uncomfortable in order for someone to like me. Jeans and a hoody is my clothing of choice. People do take the mick but I don't see the issue. I've never understood the big need to change ourselves in order to be attractive. Having said this I've never been in a relationship so that probably says a lot.
Currently wearing faded trousers, old t shirt and a plain jumper. No make up.
i don’t wear things to attract the opposite sex. I don’t like that sort of attention, I find it rather predatory.I wear what is comfortable. I look like a perpetual student. Like binary, someone has to like me for me.
One of the reasons I like the forum is that people see me through my words not my appearance, gait, choice of lipstick, age, gender etc.
I only dress for comfort not for fashion. I am very sensitive to the feel of fabrics so the clothes I wear have to feel a certain way. I don't follow fashion as it changes far too quickly and is not comfortable.
I don't really do night life anymore because I can't cope with the loud music.
Did anyone struggle with puberty? I found it really distressing and confusing.
I dress for the same reasons. I don't like a lot of fabrics. I also don't like the way I look to change so my clothes are all similar to each other. I hate fashion and how often they change. It's very confusing.
I don't like going out very much - it's too peopley.
Yes I massively struggled with puberty. It was very confusing. It wasn't something that we talked about in my house either so I had to rely on what I learnt in school and the internet. I had no-one I could ask questions about it.
I couldn't cope with the change from wearing a vest to a bra it took a long time to get used to the change but once I started wearing a bra I now wear a bra 24/7.
I couldn't cope with menstruation in fact I still can't cope with it now.
The body hair freaked me out and I hated the feel and now I shave everyday.
Not to mention the social confusion everyone had to be "cool" and into the latest crazies, if you weren't you ended up a reject which was me.